Here I am. Sitting alone in a dark room, wiping away my tears because I couldn’t find a way to hold them in anymore. There is no way I can hide it anymore. I am hurt. I am hurt by the person who means the most to me. I have been hurt by someone who I thought would be by my side for the rest of my life.
You know the feeling when you start noticing something is wrong. The moment you realize that you have been the person who had kept the threads together and the person who worked so hard on keeping you both happy. But it didn’t work.
I tried everything and the moment I started to realize that there was nothing else I could do but bundle up in a corner and cry was my final breakdown, where I decided that it was enough. I am done with waiting for you to call or text me and constantly jumping whenever my phone rings, hoping that it’s you. I’m done with waiting for you at cafes without you even showing up. I’m done being your final resort when nothing else works.
I was your punching bag from the very beginning and you didn’t know how to politely tell me that you were sick of me, so you started your passive-aggressive behavior, hoping that I would be the one to end our misery. But the only problem was that I still kept on holding on to everything we had because I wasn’t ready to throw everything away so easily.
If you are not able to love me anymore, then, guess what? I am capable of loving myself enough for the both of us. I don’t need you to tell me that I’m beautiful because I believe in my own beauty. I am done with being an option for you, when I can be my own priority.
You were never able to put down some work to see me, when I was the one who would stay up until 4 a.m. just so I could finish my work for the day, because I didn’t get to do it throughout the day. I wanted to see you so badly that every time you would call me I would run to you, to see you and hug you. But you never showed any kind of excitement when seeing me approach you.
That is the problem between us. You think that I will be by your side forever, no matter what happens. I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not going to sit around and wait for you to realize what you’re about to lose because you didn’t start treating me like I deserved to be treated.
I know that I may seem shy and reserved, but believe me, I know my own worth too well and there is nothing that anything and no one who can tell me otherwise, not even you. I know that I was giving you myself a hundred percent when you didn’t bother to give me anything.
For now, there is nothing else I can do but leave. If I end up finding someone worthy of my love and affection, someone who will be there for me even when things get tough, I might consider loving someone else as much as I love myself. But until then, I don’t want to hear a word from your selfish mouth that only knew how to take but never give.
I am loving myself enough for the both of us. That’s why I don’t need you to be in my life anymore. I don’t need you to stay around anymore. Because I’m leaving. At least I think I’m doing you a favor this way. Goodbye.