Now that’s all said and done, we can both admit that this was never meant to be. That you never really loved me, you just loved the idea of having someone by your side. You loved not being alone and having someone to take care of you. You loved the way I loved you, not me.
You never truly loved my body, you just loved how it moved for you. You loved how everyone would envy you for having me by your side. You loved how you had everything you wanted in a woman, how you gained everything but gave nothing in return.
I loved you more than I loved myself. I was there for you after working double shifts at the hospital but where were you when I needed you? Where were you when I lost my first patient?
Where were you when I first saved a life? Always busy, always preparing for a gig. “Baby, you know this is important to me. Be reasonable.” But I was supposed to be important to you as well, and I never was.
You never loved me, you loved the idea of having someone. You loved the fact that I was your safety net. That I loved you so much that I wanted to fix you.
But you managed to break me to the point where I had to fix myself. You loved having someone to vent to, to rant about your insecurities, expecting me to boost your ego. And I was ready to help you, I was ready to choose you over myself, but not once did you do the same for me.
Not once was I your first choice. And now that I think about it, I don’t think I was even second. It was all you, always you.
You never loved my mind, you loved the way it adored you. You never noticed how amazing I was. Not once did you care enough to ask me how my day went. Not once did you care about me being tired, about me being exhausted.
You needed me to be there for you and expected me to come to you the second you called me. Did you even notice that I was more than a body? Did you even notice how much you hurt me?
Did you even notice how lonely I felt right next to you? How betrayed I felt when you were talking about other women?
You never loved anyone, you only loved yourself. When I refused to be there for you, for the first time in six years, you turned to someone else.
When you drained me from all of the love, all of the strength, from all of the emotions, you simply moved on to the next victim. When I was broken, you were the one who broke me more and just walked all over me. Walked over the empty shell that was left of me and never even looked back. Well, until now.
You never loved me, you only loved the way I loved you. You loved how I was willing to help you, how I was willing to put my dreams aside to make yours come true.
You loved how I was strong and independent, because that meant that you didn’t have to be. But I needed you to be the man.
I needed you to be there for me, to hold me when I was falling apart. Instead, you were the blowing wind that scattered pieces of me across the entire universe. You were the hammer that smashed my walls, my soul. And not once did you feel sorry.
And now you’re here. You’re trying to get back with me, because she left you. You’re trying to get under my skin, now that she did the same thing you did to me. She left you for another man, because you were not enough.
And you’re expecting me to forget that you threw out the six years of my love, six years of me trying, six years of me giving parts of me to complete you?
You’re expecting me to believe you that you always loved me? Did you love me while you were cheating on me? Did you love me when you walked away with her?
Did you love me while you were parading her in front of me? You’re just hooked on the feeling of being loved, and guess what honey? You have to deserve someone’s love. You have to deserve someone’s time and devotion. And you no longer deserve mine.
