She never thought she was perfect, but she tried to be perfect just for you.
She only had eyes for you. She wanted to be worthy of you and she wanted so hard to be worthy of your love. She hoped if she kept being a better version of herself, if she tried enough to meet your expectations, you would make a spot for her in your life. She tried to be perfect, she tried to work on her flaws and she smiled no matter how painful the things she was going through became, always hoping for better days to come.
She wanted nothing more than to be there for you.
She wasn’t one of those girls who wanted to have you 24/7 even though you were on her mind all the time. She didn’t have sky-high expectations nor did she ever wish to have something you couldn’t offer her. Actually, she was the one ready to give all of herself to you.
She just wanted to be there for you. She wanted to be a part of your life. She wanted to be a person you would find comfort in, she wanted you to know that you had her, day and night. When it came to you, she was selfless with how much she gave herself to you. But at the end of the day, you didn’t grant her that wish either.
She wanted to love you.
She wanted you to be the person to whom she would give her love to. She chose you over everything and everybody. She wanted to kiss you when you were sad, she wanted to hear what went wrong when you were mad, and when you were frustrated she wanted to listen and help you to get better. She was your person, but you were never really hers. You never allowed her get close enough to let you feel what she felt.
She knew all your flaws, but she still valued them as much as your strengths.
She never expected you to be extraordinary. She never wanted you to be something you weren’t. She accepted you just like that, just the way you were. She wasn’t blind, she was perfectly aware of your flaws, but she still valued them as much as your strengths. She knew you were just a human and with all your flaws and all your mistakes, you were still perfect to her.
She should be next to you now, but she isn’t.
She still can’t bring herself to hate you, even though you probably deserve it.
If it was any other girl in her place, you’d be on her list of of people close to her heart to hate. But she can’t bring herself to do it. No matter what you did, no matter how worthless you made her feel, how you made her feel not good enough and no matter how unworthy you are of her love, she will never be able to hate you.
Even though she wanted to stay, you pushed her away.
Truth be told, even though she is a good girl and she utterly cares about you, she wasn’t able to stay. She wanted to, but you gave her no reason to stay. She couldn’t continue bringing herself down just so she could keep you up. Down the road of giving you everything and getting nothing in return, she realized that sometimes you have to take care of yourself and sometimes you have to give up on love even when it’s not what you really want to do. So she left.
But she didn’t leave willingly, you pushed her away. You pushed her away by not telling her how much you loved her, you pushed her away by not appreciating her efforts, by not valuing all the things she did for you two. You pushed her away by always choosing others before her.
There is no excuse for what you did to her.
You can’t blame it on your past and you can’t blame it on anything else. You lost a good girl and this one is on you. You broke her. You never gave her what she deserved and all she ever wanted was to be in your life. You just needed to move and make a spot for her, but even that was too much to ask.
She was one of a kind and you let her slip away.
You should’ve loved her. You should’ve appreciated her. But you didn’t. And that’s why you don’t have her anymore.
When you showed her she had no place in your life, when you gave her nothing, she pulled herself together and she had enough dignity to walk away. But don’t ever blame it on her. Because she didn’t just walk away. A girl like her doesn’t just walk away like that, you pushed her away.
But don’t stress about it. She couldn’t stay yours forever.
One day, you will no longer have a place in her heart because there will be someone out there who’ll notice her. Who’ll be able to see her for all she is. Someone who’ll value her and treat her the way she deserves. But you’ll never find anyone like her again. She was a once in a lifetime opportunity. And you missed it.