When you’ve been hurt too many times in the past, the only natural thing to do is for you to look for ways to protect your scarred heart from experiencing any more emotional pain. It is normal that you are ready to do whatever it takes just to prevent yourself from going through the same kind of hell you’ve been through.
When you’ve been broken and wounded by the ones you’ve trusted the most, it is perfectly natural to put your guard up and to become careful when it comes to the people you let in. It is normal to stop seeing the good in people and to become the negative and bitter person you swore you’d never be.
After all that you’ve been through, one can’t judge you for losing your faith in love. The fact is that the ones you’ve loved the most and the ones you were convinced loved you back have done you the most harm, so consequently you think that the only way to keep yourself safe from all that pain is to give up on love altogether.
Without even being aware of it, you become scared of love. You build thick walls around your soul, you put a steel armor around your heart and you put your guard up, convinced that this is the only way for you to save yourself.
And this is exactly what happened to you. You convinced yourself that pushing people away and not allowing yourself to have meaningful relationships were the only choices you had if you didn’t want to expose yourself to another heartbreak.
With years, you’ve changed completely. All of this abandonment trauma that you went through caused you to have serious trust issues and made you a different person.
But this year, I beg you to stop closing your heart to love because this has been slowly destroying you, without you even being aware of it. This year, I am begging you to be brave enough to let love enter your life again.
I know that you are afraid, even though you might not admit it to anyone, including yourself. I know that putting yourself back out there is scary as hell because you keep thinking about all the bad things that might happen to you and about all the negative consequences of this.
But trust me on this one and for once, stop with the overthinking. For once, stop assuming the worst case scenario and for once, have faith.
Have faith that not all people are the same and that there will come a man who will help you erase your scars and fix your crushed heart. That there will come a man who will give you all the love you deserve and a man who won’t think that you are damaged beyond repair.
Have faith that God will finally send you someone worthy of you. Someone who will help you pick up your broken pieces and someone who will make you believe in love all over again.
But most importantly, have faith in the power of love. Have faith that it will help you to heal yourself and that it will help you get back to being the person you used to be, before all these bad things happened.
Don’t get me wrong—I am not advising you not to listen to your gut or to give access to just about anyone who wants to enter your life. I am not telling you to fight for love which doesn’t exist or to beg for it.
No, I am just asking you to be more open to it. I am asking you to put your guard down and to stop thinking that you are not meant to be loved, just because you’ve been through a lot.
I am asking you to choose love over hatred. To choose forgiveness over resentment. To finally liberate yourself from your past and to be brave enough to step into your bright future.
To stop allowing all the pain you’ve experienced to define you and to stop letting it cage you. Because the only person you are hurting by depriving yourself of love is you.
I won’t lie to you—even if you let love back in your life, it doesn’t mean that you are safe from any negativity or potential pain. Yes, there is a possibility that you’ll run into some bad people who will want to hurt you all over again.
But there is also a big possibility that finally, you’ll find someone who is meant to be yours. That you’ll find your soulmate and the missing piece of the puzzle.
Someone who will make your life much beautiful and who will help you see that each of your heartbreak happened for a reason. Someone who will give you the love you can’t even imagine exists.
And I am pretty sure that risk is worth taking.
A teacher. A dreamer. A writer. A woman who’s been through all of the things you are going through. A woman who’s learned on her mistakes and whose advice you can trust. A woman who is trying to find her place under the stars. A woman just like you.