When you experience real emotional pain, it breaks you into pieces, no matter how strong you seemed before that. You feel like the weight of the entire world has fallen on your shoulders.
You are lost, devastated, angry and bitter. But most of all, you feel this enormous sadness that overwhelms you to the point that you have trouble even breathing properly.
This pain prevents you from functioning and it has completely killed the person you used to be.
You feel like you’ve lost your spark. You’ve become negative and pessimistic and all you can think about are the things you don’t have, instead of focusing on those you do.
This pain you are going through has changed the essence of your personality, it has weighed down your heart, causing you to wander through your days without any aim and making you feel like nothing in this world has a purpose anymore.
It has bound you to the point that you’ve started thinking about it as the only emotion you could ever feel. You feel tied and caged by it, you feel like you are its prisoner, like this pain completely owns you.
You feel like you’ve lost your identity and individuality and the only thing you see about yourself is this all-consuming emotion that overwhelms you.
And you feel like there is no way out, like there is nothing that and nobody who could save you from this abyss you are in.
What you don’t know is that you are the only one who can save yourself if you stop allowing this pain to define you.
People will often tell you not to allow your past to define you. What does that actually mean? It doesn’t mean that you should pretend like some things that were devastating for you in the past didn’t happen; they did and there is no point in running away from them.
They changed you and whether you like it or not, they are part of who you are now. The pain you are feeling is a part of who you are and there is nothing wrong with that.
But the worst thing for you to do is to start perceiving it as more than just a part of your personality. And this is exactly what you’re doing. You are holding on to it like you have nothing else to offer.
But remember that the pain you are feeling and the negative things you’ve experienced only form a part of you—they don’t define you as a person and they never will.
If you hold on only to negative things you’ve experienced and if you are focusing on the pain as the only quality you have, you are allowing this to define you, without even being aware of it.
Your past happened and your pain is still present but it shouldn’t be the only thing someone sees in you. And most importantly, it shouldn’t be the only thing you see in yourself.
No, you can’t erase this pain, as much as you would like to, but it can serve you as a life lesson, instead of being a roadblock.
All the pain you are feeling is just a test of your strength and it’s about time you start perceiving it that way. It is a part of your life journey and it is up to you whether you’ll choose to hold on to it or you’ll use it as fuel to drive forward.
This may come as a shock to you but pain can also serve as a motivation. It can push you into making some necessary changes in your life or to cut off toxic people from it.
But most importantly, it can teach you to put yourself first. It can help you see that you don’t actually need anyone in your life and that you could fight all of life’s difficulties on your own.
And it will definitely help you see the people who deserve a spot in your life and who are the ones you should never even try relying on. It will help you love yourself, even when you are broken into pieces.
There is nothing shameful in feeling pain, because it is what makes you human. What you need to know is that this feeling will go away when you least expect it. You may think it will haunt you forever but trust me, it is only temporary.
There are great things waiting for you—you just need to be patient. And there will come a day when you’ll realize that everything you were going through right now was worth it. Just be patient.