fake watches Skip to Content

118 Charming, Funny, And Cheesy Nurse Pick Up Lines

118 Charming, Funny, And Cheesy Nurse Pick Up Lines

Have you fallen for your nurse? Surprisingly, that’s really not a rare case scenario. It happens very often. Now, do you not know how to approach them and let them know you’re interested? Here’s something that might help you…

I’ve gathered some good nurse pick-up lines online and put them in this collection. I hope you’ll like it, and more importantly, I hope you’ll gather the strength to use them on your crush.

Trust me, all of them (well, maybe except the cheesy ones) won’t leave them indifferent, that’s for sure. If you want to text them on social media, you can also choose an appropriate meme that will go with your text, and a reply is guaranteed.

Sweet And Flirty Nurse Pick Up Lines

two flirty nurses sitting on bed

1. Is that a stethoscope around your neck? I think my heart just skipped a beat.

2. I hope you passed CPR because you’re taking my breath away.

3. Stop being so sweet! I might get diabetes!

4. When I think of you, my blood turns red, my cyanosis makes my fingertips blue, and I get tachycardia.

5. Are you hypokalemia? Because you make me feel weak at the knees.

6. I am hemophilic for you because you paint my town red!

7. Did you hear that? Even my heart murmurs, “I love you!”

8. I think I’m developing tics. I just can’t help but wink at you.

9. Blood is red, cyanosis is blue, and I get tachycardia when I think of you.

10. I think I need some vitamin ‘U’!

11. Are you lost, ma’am? Because heaven is a long way from here.

12. Are you an optic chiasm? Because you turned my world around.

13. I don’t know if I want to get better if it means never seeing you again.

14. You get my heart racing like an epinephrine drip.

15. Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.

16. You are my iodine, lithium, potassium, einsteinium, and uranium. Because “I LIKE U.”

17. Am I dead? Surely I must be because I see an angel!

18. Is there something in your eye? Oh wait, it’s just a sparkle.

See also: 300 Romantic Pick-Up Lines That Will Melt Her Heart

Best Pick Up Lines For Nurses

two nurses talking while walking in hallway

1. (Hold out a stethoscope) Why don’t you listen to your heart and go out with me?

2. You must be the one for me… Since my selectively permeable membrane lets you through.

3. When you walked in the door, your beauty hit me so hard that I have priapism from all the trauma.

4. Emphysema puffs pink, chronic bronchitis makes you blue, but no COPD makes me as breathless as you.

5. I wish my name were Adenine so I could be paired with U.

6. I don’t think I’m fine. My heart just skipped a beat because of you.

7. Can I call you pia mater? Cause you’re always on my mind.

8. Can I borrow your stethoscope? I think I’m having a heart attack.

9. Are you a cardiac nurse? Ever since I saw you, something strange has been happening inside my chest. I really need someone to take care of my heart.

10. Do you have an inhaler? Because you took my breath away.

11. Hey, are you a conditioned stimulus? Because you’re making me drool.

12. I am ADHD, and you are my Ritalin because you make me want to behave and focus my attention on you.

13. Are you epinephrine? ‘Cause you make my heart race.

14. Are you doing the Valsalva maneuver on me? Because you just made my heart stop beating for a while.

Male Nurse Pick Up Lines

two nurses talking

1. I need medical attention! I hurt myself pretty bad falling for you.

2. Can you check my heartbeat? I think it’s beating too fast because of you.

3. Is that a laryngoscope handle in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

4. You make my dopamine levels all silly.

5. You’re in the wrong profession. You shouldn’t be a nurse. You should be my husband.

6. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again?

7. I’m diagnosing you to see if you’d make a good boyfriend.

8. You take care of me so well; I’m sure you will be a good dad to our kids.

9. I guess they hired you because you bring in more patients; you’re just too hot!

10. We should study some anatomy together.

11. I think my vestibulocochlear nerve is damaged. I keep falling for you.

12. Are you PGE2? Because you’re so hot you gave me a fever.

13. You’re burning me because you’re too hot.

14. My body is in a RAAS every time I see you. (renin-angiotensin-aldosterone system)

15. Are you an exothermic reaction? Because you spread your hotness everywhere.

16. I think you should take your temperature instead of me because you’re looking very hot.

Funny Pick Up Lines For Nurses

nurses talking

1. I’m not an organ donor, but I’d give you my heart anytime.

2. Did you damage my cerebellum? Because I’m falling all over the place for you.

3. Hey girl, are you a pulmonary embolism? Cause you’re making me breathless.

4. Are your legs tired? You’ve been running through my mind ALL day long.

5. Are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.

6. I felt it move! I thought it would never be alive after a decade of peace!

7. I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin me.

8. Do you have my other lung? Because I’ve been LUNG-ing for you.

9. Let’s exchange genetic information!

10. Hey girl, are you a defibrillator? ‘Cause you’re sending shocks straight to my heart.

two nurses walking

11. You breathe oxygen? We have so much in common.

12. Is your name osteoporosis? Because you’re giving me a serious bone condition.

13. I love the way you make me vasodilate.

14. It’s better for you if I switch nurses because it’s not moral to date me while I’m still your patient.

15. Do you have a band-aid? I think I scraped my knee falling for you.

16. Did we go to school together? I swear I could see us having chemistry.

17. That pulsation in my femoral sheath isn’t coming from an artery.

18. I’ve heard the only way to feel safe at night is to sleep with a nurse.

19. Where there is a pulse, there is a chance.

20. If you need to study anatomy, I can help with the bones.

Cheesy Pick-Up Lines For Nurses

male and female nurse talking

1. Do you have COPD? Because you take away my soul.

2. You’ve got beautiful veins.

3. I’m no organ donor, but I’d be happy to give you my heart.

4. You’ve got 206 bones in your body. Want one more?

5. I wish I were your coronary artery, so I could be wrapped around your heart.

6. I have my own multi-positional bed.

7. I can do rapid clothing removal so fast that you’d be amazed.

8. Can you guess what thing has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk?
What?
My zipper. Are you ready for it?

9. Hey girl, you’re like a car accident because I can’t look away.

10. My adductor isn’t the only thing that’s longus.

11. Get your head under there; you know where it’s at.

12. Can you show me how to do mouth-to-mouth on me?

13. Did you take anatomy classes when you were a nursing student?
Of course.
Great! Would you like to study human anatomy further, with me, in my room?

14. Sir, please spread your legs a little bit more.
I’m the one who should be asking you that.

15. My love for you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in.

two nurses laughing in hallway

16. I am developing astigmatism. But when I’m with you, I can see clearer.

17. I can’t wait to come to your office and take down my pants.

18. Hey, don’t stress about pharmacology. Love is the only drug we’ll need.

19. Are you my SA node? I can’t live without you because you are why my heart keeps beating.

20. I don’t want to go all Freudian on you, but cute doctors pull strong feelings from me because they’re a safe target for feelings I originally had for my parents.

21. It’s so nice that you smell so good in a place so depressing.

22. I am actin, and you are my myosin because together we slide past together.

23. Are you one of my kidneys? Because I could live without you, but I’d still like to have you inside me.

24. Look, I’m dying here! I need a life! Please lower your standards and go out with me if you want me to survive.

25. My love for you burns stronger than my urinary tract infection.

26. I don’t feel off anymore every time I see you because you turn me right on.

27. No, that’s not an epi-pen in my pants. I’m just happy to see you.

28. Excuse me, I think you dropped something: my jaw.

29. Are you a nurse? Because you cured my erectile dysfunction.

The Best Medical Pick Up Lines

nurses sitting by window talking

1. Let’s play health care reform. I’ll be the nurse, and you can be the doctor.

2. As someone as good as you at listening to hearts, you certainly aren’t listening to yours to go out with me.

3. No one else can cut off your clothes, restrain you, and sedate you as a medic can… Wanna play?

4. My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia tells me I love you.

5. Trust me, this is how they did mammograms back in the old days.

6. Hey, baby. Are you medullary thyroid carcinoma? Because I’m a pheochromocytoma, which means we are MEN2B.

7. Is it just my olfactory, or do you just really smell good?

8. Are you a berry aneurysm? Because you make me want to give you a stroke.

9. Hey baby, wanna play with my corpus cavernosum?

10. I’m scared to have one apple a day because I don’t want you to go away.

male and female nurse talking in hallway

11. Wanna feel safe tonight? Sleep with me; I’m an EMT.

12. Can you be my proximal because I don’t want to be distal to you.

13. Are you Broca’s aphasia? Because you leave me speechless.

14. I’m a doctor, and I have just diagnosed you with a-cute smile.

15. Wanna play ‘Doctor, Doctor’?

16. I wish I were a Trypanosoma cruzi so I could live in your heart.

17. Do you know that you are sodium and I am H2O? Because wherever you go, I go.

18. You must be the cure for Alzheimer’s because you’re unforgettable.

19. Girl, you better be taking your folic acid because I’m definitely getting you pregnant.

20. I’m a medic. I know your body better than you do!

See also: 154 Chemistry Pick Up Lines To Impress Intelligent Women

Final Words

nurse talking to male

Whether they’re a co-worker, a registered nurse who took care of you while you were in hospital, or someone you’ve met on Tinder or social media, believe me, these nurse pick-up lines will work their magic.

It’ll make your nurse fall for you because it’s inevitable. To be honest, who could resist such ingenious, charming, and funny lines, right?

Everything is up to you now. You have the right words; all you need right now is courage and confidence. If you manage to gather those, you’ll have your own personal nurse for the rest of your life.