There were people who adored me at my best, who toasted with me when I was happy and full of love to give. There were people who were closest to my heart and people I’d swear would walk through fire and ice with me.
I was always there when they needed me and they knew they could call me any time of day. They held tight to me when they were down because they knew I wouldn’t let them go. Out of all those consistencies they had in life, I was the most secure and permanent one. Always the first one to save them, always the one to be the helping hand no matter who needed my help.
Nobody taught me that life isn’t really fair. Nobody ever said that once the tables have turned, it’s a lie that people will return the favor. It’s a lie when people say “what goes around, comes around”. The love I sent ‘around’ didn’t ‘come around’ to me again.
See also: This is What It Means to Be the Girl Who Cares Too Much
When the tables had turned, when I needed to hold on to people that had been holding on to me for a long time, they had no idea what to do with me. They got lost in my mess even worse than I did. They loved me when I was perfect and then they pushed me away. The ugly side of this is the fact that I’d never do that to them. I’d never leave them hanging. I would’ve stayed. But each one of them left—each one of them but you.
When everybody decided it was time to leave, you stayed. When everybody thought I was too much of a mess, you saw more to me. When everybody thought I didn’t deserve them, you gave me more than I deserved. When everybody decided to exile me from their world, you decided to welcome me into yours, and love me at my most imperfect.
You listened to me when I was losing it. You hugged me when I was hurting. You sat with me when I was sad. You didn’t try to fix me—you just loved me.
See also: A Letter To The Man Who Saved Me
You taught me that at my absolute best, I still won’t be good enough for the wrong person. And then you showed me that at my worst, I’ll still be worth it to the right person. You were that right person for me.
You were different from all the people I’ve encountered in my life. You cared. You genuinely cared. You loved me and you loved me in ways no one ever loved me. You loved me in ways that left me speechless. You loved me when I struggled with loving myself.
You saw that I was perfect and you loved me. Then you saw I wasn’t perfect anymore, and then you loved me even more.
You were one of those guardian angels that walk on this earth and whose sole purpose is to save others. You made it your mission to save me. But you didn’t push it.
You were patient with me. You understood. It seemed that not a single breakdown of mine could scare you away. You were comfortable in my mess. You made it seem like it’s not too big of a deal and in the end, it wasn’t.
You made me accept my mess, and you helped me walk through it and out of it in the end. In all this chaos, you were something I could hold on to.
It doesn’t even matter how this ends—the effort you put in me and in us is worth the Nobel prize for humanity. I can’t give you that, but I can give you my love and my thank you. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being my ‘right’ person.