Detetar e parar o "Love Bombing" em 15 passos simples

It does happen: you meet someone, and from the very first moment on, you think it’s the real deal. And the best part is that they feel the same way.

Assim, em vez de ir devagar, a sua relação romântica move-se a uma velocidade incrível.

They say they love you right away, they’re showering you with gifts and compliments, and before you know it, your romance has become very very serious.

Yes, things like this do happen. But I hate to break it to you: they’re extremely rare.

So, if you’ve found yourself in a similar situation, it’s actually more likely that you’re experiencing something called love bombing. No, it’s not a good thing – on the contrary, it’s quite toxic.

I know because I’ve been there. I thought that I’d finally encontrei a minha alma gémeaMas, passado algum tempo, todos os meus sonhos rebentaram como uma bolha.

Nevertheless, as painful as this experience was, I’m glad I had it. Now, I can help all of you who are sadly going through the same thing without even being aware of it.

If you read on, you’ll find out everything you need to know about love bombing: the meaning of love bombing, why it happens, how to notice the red flags, and most importantly – how to save yourself from this unhealthy relationship.

O que é o Love Bombing?

According to a definition for love-bombing, it’s an attempt to manipulate and controlar a outra pessoa com uso excessivo da atenção e amor falso.

In this scenario, the love bomber is the abuser – even though they aren’t physically violent – and the other person is the victim.

Simply put, when someone is love bombing you, they show high interest in you, act like you’re the center of their world, and lavish you with attention, gifts, and compliments.

What’s wrong with that, you must be wondering? Isn’t this what we’re all secretly searching for?

Well, the thing is that none of it’s honest.

Pelo contrário, o bombista do amor faz tudo isto para obter poder sobre a sua vítima. Trata-se, de facto, de uma técnica narcísica e manipuladora extremamente perigosa que, infelizmente, é muito difícil de detetar.

Sasha Jackson, a therapist and licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), says: “Love bombing is characterized by excessive attention, admiration, and affection, with the goal to make the recipient feel dependent and obligated to that person.”

Ver também: A dura verdade por trás de ser bombardeado pelo amor e depois fantasiado

Sinais de bombardeamento amoroso do narcisista

Então, é bombardeamento de amor even possible to spot in time? The answer is yes, but it’s very rare for the victim to see all the red flags right away.

Even when your intuition is telling you that something is off, you refuse to believe it. After all, isn’t it easier to live in a fantasy and think that you’ve finally found someone to love you the way you deserve?

Mas, por vezes, é preciso tirar os óculos cor-de-rosa e olhar a realidade diretamente nos olhos, por muito que isso possa doer.

Demasiada atenção e demasiadas expectativas

When you think about your exes, most of them didn’t pay you enough attention, am I right? So you ask yourself if it’s even possible to be getting too much attention from someone.

At first, this seems ungrateful, but in this type of abusive relationship, you’ll be getting too much attention and affection. And let’s be clear about one thing: we’re talking about a new relationship.

Is it really natural for a person you’ve just met to call and text you all the time? Didn’t they have a life before they entered yours?

And the worst part is that they expect the same in return. They demand your undivided attention, expect love letters, get upset when you avoid public displays of affection…

Padrões de comportamento do tipo perseguidor

De repente, o seu novo parceiro está em todo o lado. Aparece para o surpreender na sua hora de almoço e começa a tomar o pequeno-almoço naquele sítio mesmo em frente ao seu prédio.

At first, you found it cute. Nevertheless, as time goes by, you feel like they’re stalking you.

Bem, a sua intuição não está errada e este é, sem dúvida, um dos sinais de alerta do love bombing.

While they’re trying to convince you that they can’t spend a second without you, they’re actually being possessive.

They’re controlling your every move under the guise of being romantic. If this is not a red flag of a toxic relationship, I don’t know what is.

Amor exagerado

How soon is too soon to say “Eu amo-te“? I know you’ve probably watched tons of romantic movies that made you believe in love at first sight.

Even though I’m not claiming it’s impossible to fall in love right away, you have to admit that it’s pretty rare.

But on the other hand, that’s exactly what’s happening to you. Your partner exaggerates with their expressions of love.

They write you love notes, post your photos all over their social media profiles, recite poems, give you lavish gifts, send tons of emojis at the end of every text, introduce you to all of their friends and family members…

Será esta a fase da lua de mel ou um sinal de alerta de uma relação tóxica?

“Divine connection”

Don’t we all want to meet our soulmate and chama gémea? Bem, o vosso abusador narcisista sabe disso e usá-lo-á contra si.

Vão tentar convencê-lo de que vocês os dois estão destinados a ficar juntos e que isto é amor verdadeiro. Que esta é uma ligação divina e que foi o próprio destino que vos juntou.

But that’s not all. They’ll probably gather more information on you, so they can build a fake personality that resembles yours.

Once you realize how “similar” you two are, you’ll believe in this union even more.

Pressão para o compromisso

O bombardeiro do amor doesn’t have much time. Eles querem enganá-lo para que se comprometa com eles o mais rapidamente possível, antes de ter a oportunidade de descobrir as suas verdadeiras cores.

That’s why you can expect a marriage proposal in just a few weeks after the new relationship starts. If not that, they will definitely pressure you to commit in other ways without waiting for you to be ready for the next step.

Não são permitidos limites

Quantas mensagens de texto e chamadas telefónicas recebe por dia? Ambos sabemos que a resposta é: demasiadas.

The point is that this person doesn’t allow you to have privacy. They don’t respect your personal space and time, and they expect you to throw away your individuality completely.

Trust me: there is nothing romantic about this. In fact, it’s toxic and extremely dangerous.

O que acontece a seguir?

Up until now, things don’t seem so alarming, do they? Well, this is when things get rough, and here is exactly how it progresses:

Sente-se sobrecarregado e sufocado

After a while, it’s completely natural for you to feel burdened. As much as you love the other person, you can’t stand this much pressure anymore.

At the same time, you’re staying silent about this. The last thing you want is to insult your partner by telling them to back off.

Dependência emocional

É aqui que dependência emocional entra em jogo. Quer queiras quer não, toda esta atenção e afeto estão a dar-te uma espécie de validação.

You’re worthy of someone’s love, and that realization skyrockets your low self-esteem.

Of course, you’re still not aware that this is actually an introduction to emotional abuse and that you’re becoming emotionally dependent on this person.

Implorando por atenção

When this happens, your abuser suddenly changes their ways. They’ve made you addicted, and they have you right where they wanted you all along.

Now, they withhold their love and affection and bring devaluation into the picture. At the same time, you’re ready to do whatever it takes to get back to the honeymoon phase.

That’s when the real jogos mentais start. You’re willing to agree to different emotional blackmailings, and you’ll do whatever they want you to, just to get the validation you became so dependent on.

Como deixar de ser um bombardeamento amoroso

Looking at things from this perspective, it looks like you’re doomed. Getting out of this mess will be hard, but trust me – it’s possible. Here is how to do it:

Don’t pay attention to those who offer too much

Antes de mais, tenha cuidado. Lembre-se de que o bombardeamento amoroso é uma coisa e evite aqueles que oferecem demasiado.

Detesto ter de rebentar a tua bolha, mas se alguém é demasiado bom para ser verdade, é porque provavelmente tem algo de estranho. I’m not telling you to be skeptical about everyone you meet, but don’t get your hopes up too soon either.

A honestidade é sempre a resposta

Se sentir que alguém está a avançar demasiado depressa, a sufocá-lo ou a exigir demasiado de si, seja honesto. Antes de mais, seja honesto consigo próprio.

Admita o que sente e veja o que pode fazer a esse respeito. O passo seguinte é abrir-se também com o seu parceiro sobre o assunto.

No, you’re not ungrateful, and you’re not throwing away your only chance at happiness. You’re just following your intuition.

Don’t allow your loyalty to become your slavery

Remember this: you don’t owe anyone anything. You’re not obligated to stay in an relação pouco saudável só porque a outra pessoa declarou o seu amor por si ou lhe comprou um presente caro.

It’s one thing to be loyal and faithful, but it’s completely different to keep on destroying your mental wellness because of a sense of duty.

Cortar laços é uma prática de saúde mental

When you’re dealing with a love bomber who is sofrer de um distúrbio de personalidade narcisistaNão tem outra alternativa senão cortá-los de vez.

Trust me: they’ll ignore all of your pleas, and they’ll continue with their toxic practices so long as they have access to your life.

That’s exactly why you have to kick them out for good.

This is hard to do while you’re being love-bombed because the abuser will probably utilizar o gaslightingA chantagem emocional e a agressão passiva para o atrair ainda mais para a sua rede.

Nevertheless, once you realize what’s going on, I suggest you run for your life because it’s the only way to really save yourself.

O amor-próprio é a chave para a felicidade

Having a healthy relationship with yourself is mandatory – regardless of whether you’re being love-bombed or not. You see, when you know your worth, it’s impossible to get trapped in this poisonous cycle of validation and devaluation.

É mais fácil falar do que fazer, eu sei. Bem, aprender a amarmo-nos a nós próprios começa com passos de bebé.

You have to decide to put yourself and your mental health first – no compromise. Pamper yourself and work on becoming the best possible version of the person you used to be.

Quando começar a sentir-se realmente bem na sua própria pele, nenhum narcisista será capaz de lhe dar ou retirar um sentido de valor.

There’s no shame in asking for help

Finally, please don’t feel guilty for being love-bombed, keeping in mind that you’re probably not their primeira vítima and that you’re dealing with a trained professional in manipulation.

This is a serious matter, and that’s exactly why I’m begging you to ask for help if you see that you have trouble healing on your own.

Os psicoterapeutas que já trabalharam em casos semelhantes saberão exatamente como o ajudar da melhor forma. Confie em mim: não há vergonha nenhuma em pedir ajuda!

Para terminar

You don’t have to have a PhD in romance to see how unhealthy and potentially dangerous love bombing is.

Sim, tomar consciência disso é difícil. Fugir-lhe é ainda mais difícil.

But both can be done – especially with the knowledge you possess now after reading this article.

Please, be smarter than I was and learn from my mistakes! Don’t wait for something like this to happen to you before you learn your lesson.