Individuare e fermare il Love Bombing in 15 semplici passi

It does happen: you meet someone, and from the very first moment on, you think it’s the real deal. And the best part is that they feel the same way.

Così, invece di fare le cose con calma, la vostra relazione sentimentale si muove a una velocità incredibile.

They say they love you right away, they’re showering you with gifts and compliments, and before you know it, your romance has become very very serious.

Yes, things like this do happen. But I hate to break it to you: they’re extremely rare.

So, if you’ve found yourself in a similar situation, it’s actually more likely that you’re experiencing something called love bombing. No, it’s not a good thing – on the contrary, it’s quite toxic.

I know because I’ve been there. I thought that I’d finally ho trovato la mia anima gemella, ma dopo un po' tutti i miei sogni sono scoppiati come una bolla di sapone.

Nevertheless, as painful as this experience was, I’m glad I had it. Now, I can help all of you who are sadly going through the same thing without even being aware of it.

If you read on, you’ll find out everything you need to know about love bombing: the meaning of love bombing, why it happens, how to notice the red flags, and most importantly – how to save yourself from this unhealthy relationship.

Che cos'è il Love Bombing?

According to a definition for love-bombing, it’s an attempt to manipulate and controllare l'altra persona con un uso eccessivo dell'attenzione e amore finto.

In this scenario, the love bomber is the abuser – even though they aren’t physically violent – and the other person is the victim.

Simply put, when someone is love bombing you, they show high interest in you, act like you’re the center of their world, and lavish you with attention, gifts, and compliments.

What’s wrong with that, you must be wondering? Isn’t this what we’re all secretly searching for?

Well, the thing is that none of it’s honest.

Al contrario, il love bomber fa tutto questo per ottenere potere sulla sua vittima. Si tratta di una tecnica narcisistica e manipolatoria estremamente pericolosa, purtroppo molto difficile da riconoscere.

Sasha Jackson, a therapist and licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), says: “Love bombing is characterized by excessive attention, admiration, and affection, with the goal to make the recipient feel dependent and obligated to that person.”

Vedi anche: La cruda verità sull'essere stati bombardati d'amore e poi uccisi

Segni di bombardamento amoroso del narcisista

Quindi, è bombardamento d'amore even possible to spot in time? The answer is yes, but it’s very rare for the victim to see all the red flags right away.

Even when your intuition is telling you that something is off, you refuse to believe it. After all, isn’t it easier to live in a fantasy and think that you’ve finally found someone to love you the way you deserve?

Ma a volte bisogna togliersi gli occhiali rosa e guardare la realtà dritta negli occhi, per quanto possa far male.

Troppa attenzione e troppe aspettative

When you think about your exes, most of them didn’t pay you enough attention, am I right? So you ask yourself if it’s even possible to be getting too much attention from someone.

At first, this seems ungrateful, but in this type of abusive relationship, you’ll be getting too much attention and affection. And let’s be clear about one thing: we’re talking about a new relationship.

Is it really natural for a person you’ve just met to call and text you all the time? Didn’t they have a life before they entered yours?

And the worst part is that they expect the same in return. They demand your undivided attention, expect love letters, get upset when you avoid public displays of affection…

Modelli di comportamento da stalker

All'improvviso, il vostro nuovo partner è ovunque vi guardiate. Si fermano a sorprendervi durante la pausa pranzo e iniziano a fare colazione in quel locale proprio di fronte al vostro palazzo.

At first, you found it cute. Nevertheless, as time goes by, you feel like they’re stalking you.

Beh, la vostra intuizione non è sbagliata e questo è sicuramente uno dei segnali di allarme del love bombing.

While they’re trying to convince you that they can’t spend a second without you, they’re actually being possessive.

They’re controlling your every move under the guise of being romantic. If this is not a red flag of a toxic relationship, I don’t know what is.

Un amore esagerato

How soon is too soon to say “Ti amo“? I know you’ve probably watched tons of romantic movies that made you believe in love at first sight.

Even though I’m not claiming it’s impossible to fall in love right away, you have to admit that it’s pretty rare.

But on the other hand, that’s exactly what’s happening to you. Your partner exaggerates with their expressions of love.

They write you love notes, post your photos all over their social media profiles, recite poems, give you lavish gifts, send tons of emojis at the end of every text, introduce you to all of their friends and family members…

Si tratta della fase della luna di miele o di un segnale d'allarme di una relazione tossica?

“Divine connection”

Don’t we all want to meet our soulmate and fiamma gemella? Beh, il tuo abusatore narcisista lo sa e lo userà contro di voi.

Cercheranno di convincervi che voi due siete destinati a stare insieme e che questo è vero amore. Che si tratta di un legame divino e che è stato il destino stesso a farvi incontrare.

But that’s not all. They’ll probably gather more information on you, so they can build a fake personality that resembles yours.

Once you realize how “similar” you two are, you’ll believe in this union even more.

Pressione all'impegno

Il bomber dell'amore doesn’t have much time. Vogliono indurvi a impegnarvi con loro il prima possibile, prima che abbiate la possibilità di scoprire i loro veri colori.

That’s why you can expect a marriage proposal in just a few weeks after the new relationship starts. If not that, they will definitely pressure you to commit in other ways without waiting for you to be ready for the next step.

Non sono ammessi confini

Quanti messaggi e telefonate ricevete al giorno? Sappiamo entrambi che la risposta è: troppi.

The point is that this person doesn’t allow you to have privacy. They don’t respect your personal space and time, and they expect you to throw away your individuality completely.

Trust me: there is nothing romantic about this. In fact, it’s toxic and extremely dangerous.

Cosa succede dopo?

Up until now, things don’t seem so alarming, do they? Well, this is when things get rough, and here is exactly how it progresses:

Vi sentite sopraffatti e soffocati

After a while, it’s completely natural for you to feel burdened. As much as you love the other person, you can’t stand this much pressure anymore.

At the same time, you’re staying silent about this. The last thing you want is to insult your partner by telling them to back off.

Dipendenza emotiva

Qui è dove dipendenza emotiva entra in gioco. Che vi piaccia o no, tutte queste attenzioni e questo affetto vi stanno dando una sorta di convalida.

You’re worthy of someone’s love, and that realization skyrockets your low self-esteem.

Of course, you’re still not aware that this is actually an introduction to emotional abuse and that you’re becoming emotionally dependent on this person.

Implorare attenzione

When this happens, your abuser suddenly changes their ways. They’ve made you addicted, and they have you right where they wanted you all along.

Now, they withhold their love and affection and bring devaluation into the picture. At the same time, you’re ready to do whatever it takes to get back to the honeymoon phase.

That’s when the real giochi mentali start. You’re willing to agree to different emotional blackmailings, and you’ll do whatever they want you to, just to get the validation you became so dependent on.

Come fermare le bombe d'amore

Looking at things from this perspective, it looks like you’re doomed. Getting out of this mess will be hard, but trust me – it’s possible. Here is how to do it:

Don’t pay attention to those who offer too much

Prima di tutto, fate attenzione. Tenete presente che il love bombing esiste ed evitate chi offre troppo.

Mi spiace farle scoppiare la bolla di sapone, ma... se qualcuno è troppo bello per essere vero, probabilmente c'è qualcosa di strano in lui. I’m not telling you to be skeptical about everyone you meet, but don’t get your hopes up too soon either.

L'onestà è sempre la risposta

Se avete la sensazione che qualcuno si muova troppo velocemente, vi soffochi o vi chieda troppo, siate onesti al riguardo. Prima di tutto, siate onesti con voi stessi.

Ammettete quello che provate e vedete cosa potete fare. Il passo successivo è quello di aprirsi anche con il partner.

No, you’re not ungrateful, and you’re not throwing away your only chance at happiness. You’re just following your intuition.

Don’t allow your loyalty to become your slavery

Remember this: you don’t owe anyone anything. You’re not obligated to stay in an relazione malsana solo perché l'altra persona vi ha dichiarato il suo amore o vi ha comprato un regalo costoso.

It’s one thing to be loyal and faithful, but it’s completely different to keep on destroying your mental wellness because of a sense of duty.

Tagliare i ponti è una pratica di salute mentale

When you’re dealing with a love bomber who is soffre di un disturbo narcisistico di personalitànon avete altra scelta che tagliarli definitivamente.

Trust me: they’ll ignore all of your pleas, and they’ll continue with their toxic practices so long as they have access to your life.

That’s exactly why you have to kick them out for good.

This is hard to do while you’re being love-bombed because the abuser will probably utilizzare il gaslightingricatti emotivi e aggressività passiva per attirarvi ancora di più nella loro rete.

Nevertheless, once you realize what’s going on, I suggest you run for your life because it’s the only way to really save yourself.

L'amore per se stessi è la chiave della felicità

Having a healthy relationship with yourself is mandatory – regardless of whether you’re being love-bombed or not. You see, when you know your worth, it’s impossible to get trapped in this poisonous cycle of validation and devaluation.

Più facile a dirsi che a farsi, lo so. Bene, imparare ad amare se stessi inizia con piccoli passi.

You have to decide to put yourself and your mental health first – no compromise. Pamper yourself and work on becoming the best possible version of the person you used to be.

Una volta che iniziate a sentirvi davvero bene nella vostra pelle, nessun narcisista sarà in grado di darvi un senso di valore o di togliervelo.

There’s no shame in asking for help

Finally, please don’t feel guilty for being love-bombed, keeping in mind that you’re probably not their prima vittima and that you’re dealing with a trained professional in manipulation.

This is a serious matter, and that’s exactly why I’m begging you to ask for help if you see that you have trouble healing on your own.

Gli psicoterapeuti che hanno lavorato su casi simili sapranno esattamente come aiutarvi nel modo giusto. Fidatevi di me: non c'è assolutamente da vergognarsi a chiedere aiuto!

Per concludere

You don’t have to have a PhD in romance to see how unhealthy and potentially dangerous love bombing is.

Sì, prenderne coscienza è difficile. Fuggire da essa è ancora più difficile.

But both can be done – especially with the knowledge you possess now after reading this article.

Please, be smarter than I was and learn from my mistakes! Don’t wait for something like this to happen to you before you learn your lesson.