Como fazer com que os seus vizinhos se mudem: 27 ideias brilhantes

Depois de lidar com vários vizinhos maus, posso confirmar que vizinhos simpáticos e não incómodos são uma verdadeira dádiva de Deus. So, if you’re wondering how to make your neighbors move, I offer you my humble assistance and experience with neighbors from hell!

Constant shouting and drama, loud music, revving engines in the small hours, turning other neighbors against you…

These are some of the things I’ve had to deal with while trying to work from home. Como sempre, o meu marido é o tipo de homem que pensa que tudo pode ser resolvido através de uma conversa.

So, I listened to him (and I totally regretted it). When your neighbors are the type of people you can’t communicate with because they’re not willing to cooperate, you are left with two options:

1. Pode mover-se.

2. Pode obrigar os seus vizinhos a mudarem-se.

I thought about these two options for some time, and I’ve concluded the following: Why should the rest of my friendly neighbors and I move just because there are one or two neighbors who make our lives difficult?

Penso que a solução lógica seria mudarem-se, certo?

That’s exactly how I solved my problem. ? It took me some time, but in the end, it worked! Fiz com que os meus vizinhos maus e barulhentos se mudassem e agora vivo uma vida feliz e tranquila.

Since I’m not a selfish person, today, I’ll share with you all the tips and tricks on how to make your neighbors move (because you totally deserve to live in peace and harmony just like me)!

Como fazer com que os seus vizinhos se mudem

From simple ideas to more serious ones, the following list of ways to make your neighbors move is an absolute gem and the only thing you’ll ever need. So, here’s how you can do it:

1. Ser intrometido até ao tutano (e quero dizer mesmo intrometido)

Sabe qual é a melhor maneira de motivar os seus vizinhos a mudarem-se? Fazê-los sentir que não são bem-vindos, claro.

You’ll do this by being overly nosy whenever you can. Garanto-lhe que os seus novos vizinhos vão perder a cabeça quando começar a fazer-lhes montes de perguntas pessoais ou a falar demasiado de si.

Ao fazê-lo, certifique-se de que escolhe os factos mais aborrecidos da sua vida para que eles comecem a implorar ao universo que pare de falar. Falar de coisas totalmente irrelevantes e incómodas, como os seus problemas de obstipação, etc. ?

Oh, there is more. You could do the constipation or diarrhea talk while they’re having a snack. Basta esperar que cheguem a casa do trabalho e bombardeá-los com perguntas.

(Lidar com os incómodos e pessoas estúpidas é uma arte em si mesma).

Quando estiver a cozinhar, peça-lhes frequentemente que lhe emprestem alguns ingredientes em falta para que possa entrar na casa deles e analisar tudo o que lá se encontra.

This is a perfect opportunity to figure out whether they’re involved in illegal activities, which is another perfect way to get them to move “legally.”

2. As actividades ruidosas são o seu melhor amigo

Se os seus maus vizinhos vivem ao seu lado, por cima de si, por baixo de si ou nas proximidades, então as actividades ruidosas são o seu melhor amigo!

I don’t know anyone who is immune to continual loud noise that is preferably played at the most inconvenient times. Here are a few noisy ideas that will teach you how to make your neighbors move without much effort:

• A really noisy lawn mower at 7 am. (CAUTION: When I did this repeatedly, the bad neighbor ended up egging my house).

• Use the washer at the most inconvenient time and open all your windows (e.g., when they have guests outside).

• Noisy wind chimes (I’m sure your neighbor will “love them”).

• Use hedge trimmers, a chainsaw, or other loud gardening instruments to do some yard work (preferably in the morning).

• THREE WORDS: A garden party.

• Loud music + karaoke = a winner combo.

• Having a dog barking 24/7 will most certainly annoy every neighbor.

• Play basketball outside and make sure to do it as loudly as you can.

• Get your little one a drum set (or you can play it too) to play at the most inconvenient time of the day or night, of course.

• Every time you leave with your car, make sure to do it in style (revving the engine preferred).

3. Dominar a arte de ser um mau vizinho

Talvez a resposta à questão de como fazer com que os seus vizinhos se mudem seja simples: Aprender a ser um mau vizinho.

It’s time to go back to your childhood days when you annoyed your parents and other people with your silly pranks and misbehavior.

It’s time to master the art of being a bad neighbor so much that it will make your problem neighbor think twice about staying there. Maybe I should’ve said, “mastering the a arte de se livrar de pessoas tóxicas.” Here’s how you can do it:

• Let your dogs do their business in your neighbor’s yard. Yes, I’m talking about poop that they will have to pick up and clean up (let’s hope that they won’t call animal control, LOL).

• Wear your bathing suit and chill in your front yard when your neighbor has guests.

• Install fake security cameras on your property (so that you can falsely accuse them of trespassing).

• Even better idea: Install fake security cameras that point at your neighbor’s house.

• For those who are living in an apartment building with assigned parking: Take your bad neighbor’s parking spot.

• Ring your neighbor’s doorbell repeatedly and then hide. (I recommend doing this a few times).

• Cover their tree with toilet paper and pray to the Lord that it rains soon.

4. Enlouquecê-los com os inconvenientes

If your bad neighbors aren’t even trying to follow bylaws and guidelines, then feel free to drive them crazy with inconveniences.

When you do it for the first time, they’ll probably think that it’s a mistake, but later on, they’ll slowly but surely start connecting the dots.

Pode esperar que estas partidas coloquem os seus vizinhos problemáticos em modo passivo-agressivo e, eventualmente, os façam mudar-se de vez:

• Borrow their newspaper, clip the coupons, and then return it.

• Try dumping your food scraps in their yard as this will attract lots of wild animals.

• Sign them up for junk mail at random grocery stores, pet stores, and all different kinds of stores.

• Good old prank calls: Pretend that you’re selling something and be as convincing as possible.

• Even better prank: Add their number to ads in newspapers and encourage others to call them if they’re interested in buying pigs or other animals because they’re “selling” them. My uncle got pranked this way by his best friend, and he hasn’t stopped laughing since.

• Order pizza to your neighbor’s front door (make sure it’s a type of pizza you would never order for yourself).

5. Complain to the landlord or the HOA (homeowner’s association)

Outra coisa inteligente que pode fazer em relação aos seus maus vizinhos é queixar-se deles ao seu senhorio.

Most landlords are sensitive when it comes to bad renters because they don’t want to be responsible for anything their tenants might do. Mas também há pessoas que só se preocupam com elas próprias.

Ser aberto e honesto com o seu senhorio. Mencionar todas as leis relativas ao ruído e à perturbação. Tell them exactly what’s going on and that you can no longer tolerate it. Suggest that the only solution is for them to move.

If that doesn’t work, you can complain to the HOA (homeowners association). Apparently, every suburban neighborhood has one, so it’s worth giving a try.

6. Ou chamar a polícia

Well, if talking to their landlord and complaining to the HOA doesn’t work, you can always call the police. Recomendo que o faça, especialmente se suspeitar que os seus vizinhos estão envolvidos em actividades ilegais.

Por vezes, a polícia local é a única coisa de que precisa para obrigar os seus vizinhos a mudarem de casa, mas para isso precisa de provas sólidas. Por isso, sugiro que registe alguns dos seus comportamentos de má vizinhança e recolha o máximo de provas possível.

Once the law is on your side, your bad neighbors won’t stand a chance. Another great thing to do is to call the police in the middle of your neighbor’s annoying acts.

Se o fizer várias vezes, a polícia saberá que eles são realmente um problema.

Isto dar-lhes-á uma ideia clara do que se passa exatamente no local e do que os outros vizinhos têm de tolerar. Se tudo correr bem, pode esperar que a polícia lhes peça para se mudarem em breve.

7. Unir-se a outros vizinhos

Learning how to make your neighbors move shouldn’t be a problem, especially if other neighbors support you. O que pode fazer é redigir uma petição com outros vizinhos para que possa apresentar uma queixa oficial à polícia.

Think of it this way. If only one neighbor has a problem with a certain bad neighbor and the others are silent, no one will take it seriously. But if the whole neighborhood is united, then there’s a higher chance you’ll succeed in making them move.

Aconteceu uma coisa semelhante com o meu primo. She has a really awful neighbor whose kid is extremely aggressive with other kids. He would beat up other kids for no apparent reason, and the same thing happened to my cousin’s child.

Now, every time they have a problem with her kid, they knock on her door and tell her that they will no longer tolerate it if she doesn’t do something about it.

I’m extremely curious how all this will end, and I see no other way but them moving because the entire family is kind of problematic.

Em suma, a união é o caminho a seguir quando se trata de lidar com as coisas do bairro.

Ver também: 11 Sinais de que os seus vizinhos não gostam de si (+Como lidar com isso)

17 ideias extra sobre como fazer com que os seus vizinhos se mudem

Precisa de mais ideias sobre como fazer com que os seus vizinhos se mudem? Não se preocupe, aqui estão algumas ideias únicas que pode utilizar para os irritar (e começar a viver uma vida mais fácil):

1. Dizer-lhes que viste um fantasma na casa/jardim deles. Para maior efeito, diga a outros vizinhos para confirmarem que também viram o fantasma.

2. Caminhar e pisar de manhã cedo e à noite (ótimo para os vizinhos que vivem por baixo de si).

3. Place a telescope near your window and make sure they see when you’re taking a sneak peek into their house.

4. Write MOVE on a big piece of paper and put it in a window that faces their house. If they ask you why you did that, tell them that your children (or some other children in your family) did it while you weren’t watching. This will definitely make them feel unwelcome and make them ask themselves, “Why don’t people like me?”

5. Place a trail of sugar to your neighbor’s yard as close as you can to their front porch.

6. Fazer um ramo com as flores do seu jardim.

7. Drain water from their pool while they’re gone.

8. Colocar imagens e mensagens arrepiantes nas janelas da sua casa viradas para a deles.

9. Faça barulho com bolas de ténis.

10. Convidar todos os vizinhos para uma festa no quintal, exceto eles.

11. Pretend that you’re concerned about property line issues. Make sure to mention it every single day.

12. Ignorá-los completamente e pedir aos outros vizinhos que façam o mesmo. (Por vezes cortar as pessoas é necessário.)

13. Pretend that you’re insulted by them talking behind your back (even if this is not true).

14. Write a post on social media where you complain about bad neighbours subtly, but make sure they know it’s them. (Don’t spare them the details.)

15. Cante ao ar livre tão alto e tão mal quanto possível. Não se esqueça de o repetir algumas vezes por dia.

16. Order some creepy things from Amazon and deliver them to their address but make sure not to spend a lot of money because they’re not worth it.

17. Trabalhar no jardim em fato de banho.

18. Roast a pig outside while your neighbor has open windows or while they’re drying clothes outside. They’ll definitely enjoy all the food smells coming from your house and stinking up their clothes.

19. Forward solicitors to your neighbor’s door. Tell them that your neighbor would be totally interested in supporting their cause.

20. Tell them that you saw burglars sneaking around their house. (Let’s hope they don’t call the police, LOL.)

Haverá outra forma de lidar com os maus vizinhos?

Hmm… Most problems with bad neighbors can be solved with communication. You can talk to them directly about all the things that you find annoying. Em vez de os acusar, diga-lhes como o comportamento deles o faz sentir. Esta é sempre uma abordagem melhor.

If that doesn’t work, you can ask someone in their family to talk to them about it. Tell them to be discreet about it (not to mention your name or anything).

If communication turns out to be successful, then you don’t need to worry about making them move.

But if it doesn’t, then I don’t see any other way than to also become one of those bad neighbors for the purpose of making them move.

It won’t be easy, but in the long run, it will be totally worth it (if you succeed, of course).

Things You SHOULDN’T DO When It Comes To Making Your Neighbors Move

If making your neighbors move doesn’t bear fruit, it’s normal for you to feel frustrated about it.

No entanto, não se esqueça de que há algumas coisas que nunca deve fazer, por mais desesperado que esteja para as fazer andar:

1. Don’t use physical force.

2. Don’t add drugs to the food or drinks you prepare for them.

3. Don’t send them threatening messages.

4. (If something else comes to my mind, I’ll let you know.)

A última coisa de que precisa é acabar na prisão ou em tribunal por causa de uma coisa destas que fez ao seu vizinho por desespero. Lembre-se que a força não é uma solução.

Em vez disso, seja criativo na vida quotidiana e motive-os pouco a pouco a pensar em mudar-se. Lidar com vizinhos incómodos é melhor fazê-lo lenta mas seguramente.

Boa sorte!

Remember that learning how to make your neighbors move and implementing all the tactics takes time, so don’t expect to see results immediately.

Your neighbors probably won’t be annoyed by anything you do in the first few days, but as you continue disturbing their peace, they’ll start noticing it.

In a way, what you’ll be doing is giving them a taste of their own medicine. I’m pretty sure that this is the best way to deal with problematic people if communication with them fails.

Once they become annoyed, sleep-deprived, and frustrated, they’ll know how it feels to have bad neighbours.

If they see that you’re totally determined to make them move, I’m sure they’ll do so, and it’s just a matter of time.

Como sempre, a determinação vence sempre, por isso, esteja determinado a expulsar tudo o que é tóxico. Don’t let anyone steal your joy!

P.S. Se alguma destas ideias para fazer com que os seus vizinhos se mudem correr mal, as consequências e a responsabilidade são inteiramente suas. Por isso, para além de ser ousado, certifique-se de que também é sensato. ?