After dealing with several bad neighbors, I can confirm that friendly, non-annoying neighbors are a true gift from God. So, if you’re wondering how to make your neighbors move, I offer you my humble assistance and experience with neighbors from hell!
Constant shouting and drama, loud music, revving engines in the small hours, turning other neighbors against you…
These are some of the things I’ve had to deal with while trying to work from home. As always, my husband is the type of man who thinks that everything can be solved via conversation.
So, I listened to him (and I totally regretted it). When your neighbors are the type of people you can’t communicate with because they’re not willing to cooperate, you are left with two options:
1. You can move.
2. You can make your neighbors move.
I thought about these two options for some time, and I’ve concluded the following: Why should the rest of my friendly neighbors and I move just because there are one or two neighbors who make our lives difficult?
I think the logical solution would be for them to move instead, right?
That’s exactly how I solved my problem. ? It took me some time, but in the end, it worked! I made my bad and noisy neighbors move, and now I live a happy and peaceful life.
Since I’m not a selfish person, today, I’ll share with you all the tips and tricks on how to make your neighbors move (because you totally deserve to live in peace and harmony just like me)!
How To Make Your Neighbors Move
From simple ideas to more serious ones, the following list of ways to make your neighbors move is an absolute gem and the only thing you’ll ever need. So, here’s how you can do it:
1. Be nosy to the core (and I mean really nosy)
Do you know what the best way to motivate your neighbors to move is? Making them feel unwelcome, of course.
You’ll do this by being overly nosy whenever you can. I assure you that your new neighbors will lose their minds once you start asking them tons of personal questions or talking too much about yourself.
While doing that, make sure to choose the most boring facts about your life so that they start begging the universe for you to stop talking. Talk about things that are totally irrelevant and awkward such as your problems with constipation, etc. ?
Oh, there is more. You could do the constipation or diarrhea talk while they’re having a snack. Just wait for them to come back home from work and bombard them with questions.
(Dealing with annoying and stupid people is an art in itself.)
When cooking, frequently ask them to lend you some missing ingredients so that you can enter their house and scan everything there.
This is a perfect opportunity to figure out whether they’re involved in illegal activities, which is another perfect way to get them to move “legally.”
2. Noisy activities are your best friend
If your bad neighbors live next door, above you, beneath you, or in close proximity, then noisy activities are your best friend!
I don’t know anyone who is immune to continual loud noise that is preferably played at the most inconvenient times. Here are a few noisy ideas that will teach you how to make your neighbors move without much effort:
• A really noisy lawn mower at 7 am. (CAUTION: When I did this repeatedly, the bad neighbor ended up egging my house).
• Use the washer at the most inconvenient time and open all your windows (e.g., when they have guests outside).
• Noisy wind chimes (I’m sure your neighbor will “love them”).
• Use hedge trimmers, a chainsaw, or other loud gardening instruments to do some yard work (preferably in the morning).
• THREE WORDS: A garden party.
• Loud music + karaoke = a winner combo.
• Having a dog barking 24/7 will most certainly annoy every neighbor.
• Play basketball outside and make sure to do it as loudly as you can.
• Get your little one a drum set (or you can play it too) to play at the most inconvenient time of the day or night, of course.
• Every time you leave with your car, make sure to do it in style (revving the engine preferred).
3. Master the art of being a bad neighbor
Perhaps the answer to the question of how to make your neighbors move is a simple one: Learn how to be a bad neighbor.
It’s time to go back to your childhood days when you annoyed your parents and other people with your silly pranks and misbehavior.
It’s time to master the art of being a bad neighbor so much that it will make your problem neighbor think twice about staying there. Maybe I should’ve said, “mastering the art of getting rid of toxic people.” Here’s how you can do it:
• Let your dogs do their business in your neighbor’s yard. Yes, I’m talking about poop that they will have to pick up and clean up (let’s hope that they won’t call animal control, LOL).
• Wear your bathing suit and chill in your front yard when your neighbor has guests.
• Install fake security cameras on your property (so that you can falsely accuse them of trespassing).
• Even better idea: Install fake security cameras that point at your neighbor’s house.
• For those who are living in an apartment building with assigned parking: Take your bad neighbor’s parking spot.
• Ring your neighbor’s doorbell repeatedly and then hide. (I recommend doing this a few times).
• Cover their tree with toilet paper and pray to the Lord that it rains soon.
4. Drive them crazy with inconveniences
If your bad neighbors aren’t even trying to follow bylaws and guidelines, then feel free to drive them crazy with inconveniences.
When you do it for the first time, they’ll probably think that it’s a mistake, but later on, they’ll slowly but surely start connecting the dots.
You can expect these pranks to put your problem neighbors into passive-aggressive mode and eventually make them move for good:
• Borrow their newspaper, clip the coupons, and then return it.
• Try dumping your food scraps in their yard as this will attract lots of wild animals.
• Sign them up for junk mail at random grocery stores, pet stores, and all different kinds of stores.
• Good old prank calls: Pretend that you’re selling something and be as convincing as possible.
• Even better prank: Add their number to ads in newspapers and encourage others to call them if they’re interested in buying pigs or other animals because they’re “selling” them. My uncle got pranked this way by his best friend, and he hasn’t stopped laughing since.
• Order pizza to your neighbor’s front door (make sure it’s a type of pizza you would never order for yourself).
5. Complain to the landlord or the HOA (homeowner’s association)
Another smart thing you can do regarding your bad neighbors is to complain about them to their landlord.
Most landlords are sensitive when it comes to bad renters because they don’t want to be responsible for anything their tenants might do. But there are also people who only care about themselves.
Be open and honest with their landlord. Mention all the noise and disturbance ordinances. Tell them exactly what’s going on and that you can no longer tolerate it. Suggest that the only solution is for them to move.
If that doesn’t work, you can complain to the HOA (homeowners association). Apparently, every suburban neighborhood has one, so it’s worth giving a try.
6. Or call the police
Well, if talking to their landlord and complaining to the HOA doesn’t work, you can always call the police. I recommend doing this especially if you suspect that your neighbors are involved in illegal activities.
Sometimes local law enforcement is the only thing you need to make your neighbors move, but for that, you need solid evidence. So, I suggest recording some of their bad neighbour behavior and collecting as much evidence as you can.
Once the law is on your side, your bad neighbors won’t stand a chance. Another great thing to do is to call the police in the middle of your neighbor’s annoying acts.
Doing it several times will let the police know that they really are a problem.
This will give them a clear picture of what exactly is going on there and what the other neighbors have to tolerate. If everything goes smoothly, you can expect the police to ask them to move soon.
7. Unite with other neighbors
Learning how to make your neighbors move shouldn’t be a problem, especially if other neighbors support you. What you can do is draft a petition with other neighbors so that you can file an official complaint with the police.
Think of it this way. If only one neighbor has a problem with a certain bad neighbor and the others are silent, no one will take it seriously. But if the whole neighborhood is united, then there’s a higher chance you’ll succeed in making them move.
A similar thing happened to my cousin. She has a really awful neighbor whose kid is extremely aggressive with other kids. He would beat up other kids for no apparent reason, and the same thing happened to my cousin’s child.
Now, every time they have a problem with her kid, they knock on her door and tell her that they will no longer tolerate it if she doesn’t do something about it.
I’m extremely curious how all this will end, and I see no other way but them moving because the entire family is kind of problematic.
All in all, uniting is the way to go when it comes to dealing with neighborhood things.
See also: 11 Signs Your Neighbors Don’t Like You (+How To Handle It)
17 Extra Ideas On How To Make Your Neighbors Move
Need more ideas on how to make your neighbors move? Worry not, here are a few unique ideas you can use to annoy them (and start living an easier life):
1. Tell them you saw a ghost in their house/garden. For greater effect, tell other neighbors to confirm that they saw it too.
2. Walking and stomping early in the morning and at night (great for neighbors who are living beneath you).
3. Place a telescope near your window and make sure they see when you’re taking a sneak peek into their house.
4. Write MOVE on a big piece of paper and put it in a window that faces their house. If they ask you why you did that, tell them that your children (or some other children in your family) did it while you weren’t watching. This will definitely make them feel unwelcome and make them ask themselves, “Why don’t people like me?”
5. Place a trail of sugar to your neighbor’s yard as close as you can to their front porch.
6. Make a bouquet from the flowers in their garden.
7. Drain water from their pool while they’re gone.
8. Put creepy pictures and messages in the windows of your home facing theirs.
9. Go loud and wild with tennis balls.
10. Invite every single neighbor to a yard party EXCEPT them.
11. Pretend that you’re concerned about property line issues. Make sure to mention it every single day.
12. Ignore them completely and ask other neighbors to do the same. (Sometimes cutting people off is necessary.)
13. Pretend that you’re insulted by them talking behind your back (even if this is not true).
14. Write a post on social media where you complain about bad neighbours subtly, but make sure they know it’s them. (Don’t spare them the details.)
15. Sing outside as loud and as bad as you can. Make sure to repeat it a few times per day.
16. Order some creepy things from Amazon and deliver them to their address but make sure not to spend a lot of money because they’re not worth it.
17. Do some yard work in a swimsuit.
18. Roast a pig outside while your neighbor has open windows or while they’re drying clothes outside. They’ll definitely enjoy all the food smells coming from your house and stinking up their clothes.
19. Forward solicitors to your neighbor’s door. Tell them that your neighbor would be totally interested in supporting their cause.
20. Tell them that you saw burglars sneaking around their house. (Let’s hope they don’t call the police, LOL.)
Is There Any Other Way To Deal With Bad Neighbors?
Hmm… Most problems with bad neighbors can be solved with communication. You can talk to them directly about all the things that you find annoying. Instead of accusing them, tell them how their behavior makes you feel. This is always a better approach.
If that doesn’t work, you can ask someone in their family to talk to them about it. Tell them to be discreet about it (not to mention your name or anything).
If communication turns out to be successful, then you don’t need to worry about making them move.
But if it doesn’t, then I don’t see any other way than to also become one of those bad neighbors for the purpose of making them move.
It won’t be easy, but in the long run, it will be totally worth it (if you succeed, of course).
Things You SHOULDN’T DO When It Comes To Making Your Neighbors Move
If making your neighbors move doesn’t bear fruit, it’s normal for you to feel frustrated about it.
However, keep in mind that there are some things you should never do, no matter how desperate you are to make them move:
1. Don’t use physical force.
2. Don’t add drugs to the food or drinks you prepare for them.
3. Don’t send them threatening messages.
4. (If something else comes to my mind, I’ll let you know.)
The last thing you need is to end up in prison or in court because of something like this that you did to your neighbor out of desperation. Remember that force is not a solution.
Instead, be creative in everyday life and motivate them bit by bit to consider moving. Handling troublesome neighbors is best done slowly but surely.
Remember that learning how to make your neighbors move and implementing all the tactics takes time, so don’t expect to see results immediately.
Your neighbors probably won’t be annoyed by anything you do in the first few days, but as you continue disturbing their peace, they’ll start noticing it.
In a way, what you’ll be doing is giving them a taste of their own medicine. I’m pretty sure that this is the best way to deal with problematic people if communication with them fails.
Once they become annoyed, sleep-deprived, and frustrated, they’ll know how it feels to have bad neighbours.
If they see that you’re totally determined to make them move, I’m sure they’ll do so, and it’s just a matter of time.
As always, determination wins every single time, so be determined to kick out anything toxic. Don’t let anyone steal your joy!
P.S. If any of these ideas to make your neighbors move go wrong, the consequences and responsibility are fully yours. So, apart from being bold, make sure to be wise as well. ?