Come far spostare i vicini: 27 idee brillanti

Dopo aver avuto a che fare con diversi cattivi vicini, posso confermare che i vicini amichevoli e non fastidiosi sono un vero dono di Dio. So, if you’re wondering how to make your neighbors move, I offer you my humble assistance and experience with neighbors from hell!

Constant shouting and drama, loud music, revving engines in the small hours, turning other neighbors against you…

These are some of the things I’ve had to deal with while trying to work from home. Come sempre, mio marito è il tipo di uomo che pensa che tutto si possa risolvere con una conversazione.

So, I listened to him (and I totally regretted it). When your neighbors are the type of people you can’t communicate with because they’re not willing to cooperate, you are left with two options:

1. È possibile spostarsi.

2. Potete far spostare i vostri vicini.

I thought about these two options for some time, and I’ve concluded the following: Why should the rest of my friendly neighbors and I move just because there are one or two neighbors who make our lives difficult?

Credo che la soluzione più logica sarebbe quella di trasferirsi, no?

That’s exactly how I solved my problem. ? It took me some time, but in the end, it worked! Ho fatto spostare i miei vicini cattivi e rumorosi e ora vivo una vita felice e tranquilla.

Since I’m not a selfish person, today, I’ll share with you all the tips and tricks on how to make your neighbors move (because you totally deserve to live in peace and harmony just like me)!

Come far muovere i vicini

From simple ideas to more serious ones, the following list of ways to make your neighbors move is an absolute gem and the only thing you’ll ever need. So, here’s how you can do it:

1. Essere ficcanaso fino al midollo (e intendo proprio ficcanaso)

Sapete qual è il modo migliore per motivare i vostri vicini a trasferirsi? Farli sentire sgraditi, naturalmente.

You’ll do this by being overly nosy whenever you can. Vi assicuro che i vostri nuovi vicini perderanno la testa quando comincerete a fare domande personali o a parlare troppo di voi stessi.

Nel farlo, assicuratevi di scegliere i fatti più noiosi della vostra vita, in modo che inizino a implorare l'universo di smettere di parlare. Parlare di cose totalmente irrilevanti e imbarazzanti come i vostri problemi di stitichezza, ecc. ?

Oh, there is more. You could do the constipation or diarrhea talk while they’re having a snack. Aspettate che tornino a casa dal lavoro e bombardateli di domande.

(Gestire i fastidiosi e persone stupide è un'arte in sé).

Quando cucinate, chiedete spesso di prestarvi alcuni ingredienti mancanti, in modo da poter entrare in casa loro e scannerizzare tutto quello che c'è.

This is a perfect opportunity to figure out whether they’re involved in illegal activities, which is another perfect way to get them to move “legally.”

2. Le attività rumorose sono le migliori amiche

Se i vostri cattivi vicini vivono accanto a voi, sopra di voi, sotto di voi o nelle immediate vicinanze, le attività rumorose sono le vostre migliori amiche!

I don’t know anyone who is immune to continual loud noise that is preferably played at the most inconvenient times. Here are a few noisy ideas that will teach you how to make your neighbors move without much effort:

• A really noisy lawn mower at 7 am. (CAUTION: When I did this repeatedly, the bad neighbor ended up egging my house).

• Use the washer at the most inconvenient time and open all your windows (e.g., when they have guests outside).

• Noisy wind chimes (I’m sure your neighbor will “love them”).

• Use hedge trimmers, a chainsaw, or other loud gardening instruments to do some yard work (preferably in the morning).

• THREE WORDS: A garden party.

• Loud music + karaoke = a winner combo.

• Having a dog barking 24/7 will most certainly annoy every neighbor.

• Play basketball outside and make sure to do it as loudly as you can.

• Get your little one a drum set (or you can play it too) to play at the most inconvenient time of the day or night, of course.

• Every time you leave with your car, make sure to do it in style (revving the engine preferred).

3. Padroneggiare l'arte di essere un cattivo vicino

Forse la risposta alla domanda su come far spostare i vicini è semplice: Imparare a essere un cattivo vicino.

It’s time to go back to your childhood days when you annoyed your parents and other people with your silly pranks and misbehavior.

It’s time to master the art of being a bad neighbor so much that it will make your problem neighbor think twice about staying there. Maybe I should’ve said, “mastering the L'arte di liberarsi delle persone tossiche.” Here’s how you can do it:

• Let your dogs do their business in your neighbor’s yard. Yes, I’m talking about poop that they will have to pick up and clean up (let’s hope that they won’t call animal control, LOL).

• Wear your bathing suit and chill in your front yard when your neighbor has guests.

• Install fake security cameras on your property (so that you can falsely accuse them of trespassing).

• Even better idea: Install fake security cameras that point at your neighbor’s house.

• For those who are living in an apartment building with assigned parking: Take your bad neighbor’s parking spot.

• Ring your neighbor’s doorbell repeatedly and then hide. (I recommend doing this a few times).

• Cover their tree with toilet paper and pray to the Lord that it rains soon.

4. Farli impazzire con gli inconvenienti

If your bad neighbors aren’t even trying to follow bylaws and guidelines, then feel free to drive them crazy with inconveniences.

When you do it for the first time, they’ll probably think that it’s a mistake, but later on, they’ll slowly but surely start connecting the dots.

Con questi scherzi i vostri vicini problematici entreranno in modalità passivo-aggressiva e alla fine si trasferiranno definitivamente:

• Borrow their newspaper, clip the coupons, and then return it.

• Try dumping your food scraps in their yard as this will attract lots of wild animals.

• Sign them up for junk mail at random grocery stores, pet stores, and all different kinds of stores.

• Good old prank calls: Pretend that you’re selling something and be as convincing as possible.

• Even better prank: Add their number to ads in newspapers and encourage others to call them if they’re interested in buying pigs or other animals because they’re “selling” them. My uncle got pranked this way by his best friend, and he hasn’t stopped laughing since.

• Order pizza to your neighbor’s front door (make sure it’s a type of pizza you would never order for yourself).

5. Complain to the landlord or the HOA (homeowner’s association)

Un'altra cosa intelligente che potete fare nei confronti dei cattivi vicini è lamentarvi con il loro padrone di casa.

Most landlords are sensitive when it comes to bad renters because they don’t want to be responsible for anything their tenants might do. Ma ci sono anche persone che si preoccupano solo di se stesse.

Siate aperti e onesti con il padrone di casa. Menzionate tutte le ordinanze relative al rumore e al disturbo. Tell them exactly what’s going on and that you can no longer tolerate it. Suggest that the only solution is for them to move.

If that doesn’t work, you can complain to the HOA (homeowners association). Apparently, every suburban neighborhood has one, so it’s worth giving a try.

6. O chiamare la polizia

Well, if talking to their landlord and complaining to the HOA doesn’t work, you can always call the police. Vi consiglio di farlo soprattutto se sospettate che i vostri vicini siano coinvolti in attività illegali.

A volte le forze dell'ordine locali sono l'unica cosa di cui avete bisogno per far muovere i vostri vicini, ma per questo avete bisogno di prove solide. Suggerisco quindi di registrare alcuni dei loro comportamenti di cattivo vicinato e di raccogliere quante più prove possibili.

Once the law is on your side, your bad neighbors won’t stand a chance. Another great thing to do is to call the police in the middle of your neighbor’s annoying acts.

Farlo più volte farà capire alla polizia che sono davvero un problema.

In questo modo si potrà avere un quadro chiaro di ciò che accade esattamente in quel luogo e di ciò che gli altri vicini devono tollerare. Se tutto procede senza intoppi, si può prevedere che la polizia chieda loro di spostarsi al più presto.

7. Unirsi ad altri vicini

Learning how to make your neighbors move shouldn’t be a problem, especially if other neighbors support you. È possibile redigere una petizione con altri vicini per presentare una denuncia ufficiale alla polizia.

Think of it this way. If only one neighbor has a problem with a certain bad neighbor and the others are silent, no one will take it seriously. But if the whole neighborhood is united, then there’s a higher chance you’ll succeed in making them move.

Una cosa simile è successa a mio cugino. She has a really awful neighbor whose kid is extremely aggressive with other kids. He would beat up other kids for no apparent reason, and the same thing happened to my cousin’s child.

Now, every time they have a problem with her kid, they knock on her door and tell her that they will no longer tolerate it if she doesn’t do something about it.

I’m extremely curious how all this will end, and I see no other way but them moving because the entire family is kind of problematic.

Tutto sommato, unirsi è la strada da percorrere quando si tratta di affrontare le questioni di vicinato.

Vedi anche: 11 segni di antipatia verso i vicini (+come gestirli)

17 idee extra su come far muovere i vicini di casa

Avete bisogno di altre idee su come far spostare i vostri vicini? Non preoccupatevi, ecco alcune idee uniche che potete utilizzare per infastidirli (e iniziare a vivere una vita vita più facile):

1. Dite loro che avete visto un fantasma nella loro casa/giardino. Per ottenere un effetto maggiore, dite agli altri vicini di confermare di averlo visto anche loro.

2. Camminare e calpestare la mattina presto e la sera (ottimo per i vicini che vivono sotto di voi).

3. Place a telescope near your window and make sure they see when you’re taking a sneak peek into their house.

4. Write MOVE on a big piece of paper and put it in a window that faces their house. If they ask you why you did that, tell them that your children (or some other children in your family) did it while you weren’t watching. This will definitely make them feel unwelcome and make them ask themselves, “Why don’t people like me?”

5. Place a trail of sugar to your neighbor’s yard as close as you can to their front porch.

6. Creare un bouquet con i fiori del loro giardino.

7. Drain water from their pool while they’re gone.

8. Mettete immagini e messaggi inquietanti alle finestre della vostra casa di fronte alla loro.

9. Scatenatevi con le palline da tennis.

10. Invitare tutti i vicini a una festa in giardino, tranne loro.

11. Pretend that you’re concerned about property line issues. Make sure to mention it every single day.

12. Ignorateli completamente e chiedete agli altri vicini di fare lo stesso. (A volte tagliare le persone è necessario.)

13. Pretend that you’re insulted by them talking behind your back (even if this is not true).

14. Write a post on social media where you complain about bad neighbours subtly, but make sure they know it’s them. (Don’t spare them the details.)

15. Cantate all'aperto più forte e più cattivo che potete. Assicuratevi di ripeterlo un paio di volte al giorno.

16. Order some creepy things from Amazon and deliver them to their address but make sure not to spend a lot of money because they’re not worth it.

17. Fare lavori in giardino in costume da bagno.

18. Roast a pig outside while your neighbor has open windows or while they’re drying clothes outside. They’ll definitely enjoy all the food smells coming from your house and stinking up their clothes.

19. Forward solicitors to your neighbor’s door. Tell them that your neighbor would be totally interested in supporting their cause.

20. Tell them that you saw burglars sneaking around their house. (Let’s hope they don’t call the police, LOL.)

C'è un altro modo per affrontare i cattivi vicini?

Hmm… Most problems with bad neighbors can be solved with communication. You can talk to them directly about all the things that you find annoying. Invece di accusarli, dite loro come vi fa sentire il loro comportamento. Questo è sempre un approccio migliore.

If that doesn’t work, you can ask someone in their family to talk to them about it. Tell them to be discreet about it (not to mention your name or anything).

If communication turns out to be successful, then you don’t need to worry about making them move.

But if it doesn’t, then I don’t see any other way than to also become one of those bad neighbors for the purpose of making them move.

It won’t be easy, but in the long run, it will be totally worth it (if you succeed, of course).

Things You SHOULDN’T DO When It Comes To Making Your Neighbors Move

If making your neighbors move doesn’t bear fruit, it’s normal for you to feel frustrated about it.

Tuttavia, tenete presente che ci sono cose che non dovreste mai fare, per quanto vogliate disperatamente farle muovere:

1. Don’t use physical force.

2. Don’t add drugs to the food or drinks you prepare for them.

3. Don’t send them threatening messages.

4. (If something else comes to my mind, I’ll let you know.)

L'ultima cosa di cui avete bisogno è finire in prigione o in tribunale a causa di una cosa del genere che avete fatto al vostro vicino per disperazione. Ricordate che la forza non è una soluzione.

Invece, siate creativi nella vita di tutti i giorni e motivateli un po' alla volta a prendere in considerazione l'idea di trasferirsi. Gestire i vicini fastidiosi è meglio farlo lentamente ma con costanza.

Buona fortuna!

Remember that learning how to make your neighbors move and implementing all the tactics takes time, so don’t expect to see results immediately.

Your neighbors probably won’t be annoyed by anything you do in the first few days, but as you continue disturbing their peace, they’ll start noticing it.

In a way, what you’ll be doing is giving them a taste of their own medicine. I’m pretty sure that this is the best way to deal with problematic people if communication with them fails.

Once they become annoyed, sleep-deprived, and frustrated, they’ll know how it feels to have bad neighbours.

If they see that you’re totally determined to make them move, I’m sure they’ll do so, and it’s just a matter of time.

Come sempre, la determinazione vince sempre e comunque, quindi siate determinati a cacciare via tutto ciò che è tossico. Don’t let anyone steal your joy!

P.S. Se una di queste idee per far muovere i vostri vicini va male, le conseguenze e la responsabilità sono completamente vostre. Quindi, oltre a essere audaci, assicuratevi anche di essere saggi. ?