Os meus sogros tratam-me como um estranho: 8 coisas para fazer sobre isso

I understand how you feel because I have also asked myself why my in-laws treat me like an outsider. I am a daughter-in-law who isn’t one of the family members. Maybe you have this problem as a son-in-law as well.

I am not sure what I did to make my in-laws treat me like an outsider. I have been married for a year now, and they still don’t seem to like me. They always tell me that I am not good enough for their son and that I should be more like their daughter.

I feel like they won’t accept me as their daughter-in-law because I am from a different culture and religion than theirs. They don’t want to spend time with me or talk to me about anything personal.

Tem de compreender que algumas pessoas não são tão receptivas como outras. Se quiser sentir-se parte da família, terá de participar em eventos familiares, estabelecer limites e concentrar-se na sua própria família. Vou agora contar-vos o que fiz quando tive este problema.

Porque é que os meus sogros me tratam como um estranho?

In-laws can be a tricky bunch. They’re so close to your spouse yet so far away from you. It’s hard to know how to act around them, and they may seem to have it out for you. But why? Is it because you are a pessoa orientada para a família e não são?

It turns out that in-laws often feel like outsiders in their own family because they don’t have the same history as their children do. They don’t know all the inside jokes or personal stories, and they don’t feel like they belong.

This is especially true when couples marry later in life or have children later on. The in-laws are the people you have to get along with – they are your hubby or wife’s family.

The relationship between in-laws can be one of the most complicated in a person’s life. This is because they are not just family but also people who are close to your spouse. This creates a lot of tension and stress between the two parties.

Some common answers to “why do my in-laws treat me like an outsider?” include:

• Different cultural backgrounds

• No fronteiras com sogra ou sogro

• Different beliefs

• Not attending family gatherings

• Different lifestyles

• Views on grandkids

• Different values

• This is the first time someone has ever stood up to them

• Low self-esteem

Como lidar com sogros que o tratam como alguém de fora: 8 maneiras

Eis o que faço quando os meus sogros me tratam como um estranho:

1. It’s not in your head

Understanding the dynamics of a family is one of the most important aspects of being a good spouse. It’s not you when your in-laws act like you are an outsider.

You need to be able to understand their perspective and accept that they have been there for your spouse and know them better than anyone else. This is so hard for many people because they don’t understand the family dynamics.

When your spouse joined your family, they were automatically welcomed with open arms as if your family had known them forever. But on the other hand, when it’s their parents, you are an outsider who has to prove yourself worthy enough to be accepted into their lives.

2. Compreender a razão

It’s important to understand that in-laws are often not trying to be malicious or cruel. They might feel like they’re losing their son or daughter, and they might try to keep them close by doing things that are inappropriate.

Os sogros podem sentir-se como estranhos por uma série de razões. Podem não ter muito em comum consigo, o que pode dificultar a sua relação. Podem também sentir-se como estranhos devido à falta de relação com o filho ou filha.

Não se esqueça de que os sogros, muitas vezes, não estão a tentar ser maliciosos ou cruéis quando agem desta forma à sua volta, mas isso pode causar problemas e até ressentimento no casamento ou famílias.

3. Agir com elegância

Isto aplica-se mesmo a separação no casamentoproblemas familiares gerais e qualquer outro tipo de problemas.

Don’t go all-in with your emotions. We may not be able to control how our in-laws act, but we can control how we react. These people may require a little more patience and understanding than they deserve.

We mustn’t let their behavior affect how we behave. We should try to remain polite and respectful at all times. This will make it easier for our spouses to deal with them.

4. Don’t be vulnerable

Don’t be vulnerable when your in-laws make you feel like you are an outsider. It’s hard to be part of a family that doesn’t seem to accept you. De facto, as pessoas a quem se deve melhores conselhos matrimoniais de estão a ignorá-lo.

But it’s important to remember that they are not rejecting you but rather the idea of change. It is natural for in-laws to feel threatened by the new person entering their family, and it’s understandable if they don’t want their children to change too much.

Mas há formas de os fazer sentir-se mais confortáveis com a sua presença e de os fazer ficar do seu lado.

5. It’s a power play

Your in-laws are the people who have been part of your partner’s life for years. They know them better than you do, and their opinion of you is likely to be important to your partner.

In-laws are often not very welcoming towards a new person in their child’s life, and they might not be as understanding as they were when they first met you. This can lead to a power play where one side feels like the other is trying to control them.

One way to handle this is by considering what your in-laws want and need while also ensuring that they don’t come at you with a plan that may not be good for you or your family.

6. Fazer uma pausa

It’s not easy when you’re an outsider. You feel like you’re not part of the family, and it can be hard to find your place in that situation.

Take a deep breath, remind yourself that this isn’t about you, but instead, it’s about your in-laws feeling left out, and then try to see things from their perspective.

Lembre-se que, no final, o mais importante é que respeita o teu marido or wife and also do what they wish, even if that means going to family gatherings when you don’t want to.

7. Don’t get on their level

Há muitas maneiras de lidar com os sogros. You can get on their level, but don’t do it too much because they will think that you are trying to replace them in your spouse’s life. You can also try to be a little bit more like them.

Não é fácil fazer parte de uma nova família, especialmente quando se é um estranho. Pode ser difícil colocar-se ao nível deles e ver as coisas da sua perspetiva. Isto não se deve apenas às suas crenças pessoais, mas também às diferenças culturais entre si e eles.

8. Pedir ajuda ao seu cônjuge

Quer envelhecer with this person. Why wouldn’t you tell them how their family makes you feel? Tell your spouse and ask them how they can help.

If your in-laws are being disrespectful, the best thing for you to do is speak up for yourself. You don’t have to accept any type of disrespect from them just because they are family members.

Seja claro sobre o que precisa deles e peça ajuda a outras pessoas (mesmo ao seu cônjuge ou família) se eles não quiserem ou não puderem mudar.

Ver também: Distanciar-se dos sogros: Deve fazê-lo e como?

How Do You Tell If Your In-Laws Don’t Like You?

There are a few ways you can tell if they don’t like you. One way is by paying attention to their body language. If they are stiff or don’t seem interested in talking to you, then the chances are that they’re not too fond of you.

Remember, you are a human being just like your husband’s family, and the fact that your in-laws treat you like an outsider is not to be taken lightly.

De facto, estes são problemas familiares e sinais de uma família sem apoio que precisa de resolver sempre que ocorre, se quiser ter uma boa relação.

Another way is by listening for key phrases that may indicate that your new family doesn’t like you, such as “I have no idea” when asked about their opinion on something or “I’m not sure” when asked what they think of an event or topic.

It’s important to know how your in-laws feel about you because it can affect the relationship between you and your spouse. To avoid any awkwardness, it’s best to find out how they feel before the wedding.

Desta forma, sabe se vai ter uma boa relação com eles ou se eles vão acabar por arruinando a sua saúde mental.

Ver também: 10 sinais de que você tem uma nora tóxica e como lidar com ela

Para terminar

I know you wish you had sorted this out with your fiance beforehand. But you never knew your mother-in-law or sister-in-law could be such a huge problem everytime you meet up. They are so toxic they won’t even add you on social media.

Don’t wait for a special occasion to let them know, or you will spend years of marriage or even your whole life being miserable. Go to your own house, talk about it with your significant other, make a plan and make a phone call to meet up.

Desta forma, nunca terá de dizer: os meus sogros tratam-me como um estranho. Pelo contrário, no dia seguinte, estará feliz com o seu mil, fil, sil e bil. E eles também estarão felizes com a sua dil ou sil.