When you are dealing with somebody toxic, you might not even be aware of all the ways in which they are ruining your mental health.
They are masters of manipulation, they gradually ruin your self-esteem, they bring you down so they can control and manipulate you.
They will have no problem convincing you that you are the one to blame for everything and accuse you of being responsible for their mentally abusive behavior.
Take a look at the signs and if you find your partner in them, get away from him as soon as possible, before it’s too late.
1. You make excuses about his behavior
They treat you badly when you are among other people and it gets even worse when you are alone; still, you always find excuses for them.
You justify their crappy behavior by saying that they are not normally like that, that they just had a bad day, etc.
First of all, you are fooling no one—well, maybe yourself because you see something in him that isn’t there. Secondly, by doing this, you are sending him the message that his behavior is tolerable so he will just continue to act like this.
2. He intentionally brings you down
You can’t remember when you had a happy moment that he didn’t trash. Every time you are feeling super excited to see your friends or you are over the moon because something good happened at work, he will do his best to try and make it less.
He can’t stand that you are happy and that’s why he will make fun of your accomplishments and try to decrease their significance. He is just bringing negativity into your life and you really don’t need that.
3. He is killing your spirit
Lately, your emotions have been more down than up. You cry often, you are vulnerable and your insecurities are heightened.
If you are trying to find the cause of the problem, look at your partner. He might be the one that’s making you feel low when he should lift you among the stars.
In addition, if he doesn’t notice or care that you are feeling down, there is no doubt about it—he is the source of your messed-up emotions.
4. He is a closed book
He had such a hard time opening up to you and letting you in that over time he stopped trying altogether.
You never know where his head is at or what he is up to and it’s making you lose the feeling of safety in the relationship, which makes you feel upset or even anxious.
5. He is micro-cheating
He doesn’t necessarily have to have sex with somebody else to make you feel like he is unfaithful. He might be flirting with other women, keeping in touch on social media, confiding in them or anything else that constitutes micro-cheating.
All in all, you will feel like he is playing you for a fool and totally disrespecting you. You will feel unappreciated and stressed out for no good reason.
He should pay more attention to how he makes you feel or no longer be a part of your life.
6. He often labels you as too sensitive or unreasonable
He is acting like you never get him and that you are exaggerating and making a big deal out of nothing.
In his mind, offense is the best defense, so he would much rather devalue your feelings than admit that he is the one making you feel bad. It’s like he is denying you the right to feel what you feel.
Be careful as this can really ruin your overall mental health, make you lose sight of your feelings and drain you emotionally.
7. You feel pressured to change
His behavior is making you feel like you are not good enough. So you do your best, you change, you stay silent when you should speak, just to keep him around.
Keep in mind that change is not always for the better, especially when it’s influenced by anyone but yourself. Make sure you are not losing yourself in your efforts to keep him around.
The other person should treat you as their equal and accept you for who you are if he can’t do that, he doesn’t deserve a place in your life.
8. Your confidence disappeared
If you met your old self, you wouldn’t recognize her. Since your relationship started, you have been questioning your every move and you are scared to get out of your shell.
If you are with somebody who makes you feel like you are not enough, who blames you for everything and silences your voice, you need to get out ASAP.
In worst-case scenarios, men like this persuade you that you are worthless without them. This kind of behavior is manipulative and highly toxic and you should stay as far away as you can.
9. The whole situation with him is damaging your physical health
Your mind and your body are intertwined and they influence each other. The stress you are experiencing with a toxic partner will ruin your immune system. You will be more susceptible to catching a cold, or having headaches or stomach cramps.
Keep in mind that nobody is worth losing your well-being over, neither mental nor physical. This is tangible proof that your partner is not right for you, regardless of how you feel about him.
10. The feeling of guilt consumes you
Take a really good look at your relationship. Is it possible that you are always the guilty one and your partner is oh-so-innocent, or is he trying to control you?
Even if you always had his back, he will say you were not there when he needed you the most, that he lacked your support and understanding.
You know that’s not true so don’t let him convince you otherwise. He has major issues so let him deal with them on his own and don’t allow him to pollute your life.
Leah Lee – Writer. Dreamer. Adventurer. Eternal Optimist.
I am an English language and literature professor and writing came naturally alongside that. It was something I did for me until I decided to share it with the rest of the world.
I write about love, emotions, relationship issues and ways to solve them and most importantly about empowering women to become the best versions of themselves.
My inspiration comes from all that I’ve been through in life, and it was a bumpy road but full of valuable lessons. I hope that my experience will do some good to all of those who like to read my work.