Being in an NSA (aka no strings attached) relationship sounds like so much fun when you hear people talk about it, doesn’t it?
Having fun in bed and knowing that you’re not going to regret it in the morning is the kind of relationship where you’re with someone but you don’t feel any guilt after leaving the next morning and sex is just a way of getting some fun!
It is never a way of getting emotionally intimate or invested.
Sounds perfect, doesn’t it? Well, the problem here is that there are some rules connected to this type of relationship. You should follow them in order to not mess it up or make a fool out of yourself, should you start developing feelings about your NSA partner.
Like most things in life, relationships are all sorts of complicated and unpredictable.
Sometimes, you may think you’re about to embark on a life-changing adventure with your soulmate and you end up heartbroken and alone.
And other times, you choose to engage in an NSA relationship and you start developing serious feelings for this person and nothing is going like you imagined it would. Feelings just appear out of nowhere and you’re clueless about what to do about it.
That’s life for you… You can’t plan out your love life. You can’t control your feelings when they appear out of nowhere. You just have to learn how to set up some ground rules for the type of relationship you wish to engage in.
If an NSA relationship is something you have decided to explore, there are certain unwritten rules you should probably follow, if you want to get out of it in one piece.
Learn how to maximize the pleasure and minimize the possible negative repercussions of it. It’s a way to have some innocent, sultry fun, so do just that with the help of the following guidelines.
1. Know the difference between ‘friends with benefits’ and NSA
If you choose a friend to have this type of relationship with, it’s called ‘friends with benefits’. But an NSA relationship doesn’t have anything to do with that because here, the man you’re with doesn’t have to listen to your problems and doesn’t have to make you feel better when you’re down. These types of relationships are all about your physical pleasure.
2. Ask yourself if you’re ready
Being emotionally ready for an NSA relationship is crucial, because you don’t want to make it awkward by revealing your feelings to someone when they don’t feel the same way. Also, ask your NSA partner if he’s ready for that, too. He might get emotionally involved without you wanting it to be like that.
3. Use protection!
This should be common sense, but most people make the mistake of not taking this rule very seriously. But they really should, because no one wants to get stuck having a baby with someone they are not in love with. Use condoms or another type of birth control, don’t let him ‘’enter’’ you without the right protection or you will regret it later.
4. Cut it off the moment you start developing feelings
If you start getting jealous, it’s a clear sign to move on from that man. In this type of relationship, feelings are the last thing you need or want as they complicate things. It’s not easy to recognize it at first, but if the thought of him being with someone else makes you feel weird, it’s a clear signal that it’s something more than an NSA. Don’t do this to yourself. You might get hurt.
5. Have boundaries
Boundaries are crucial to protect yourself from catching feelings. Rules like no texting or calling unless it’s for sex or that you may not approach each other in public may seem harsh but they are for your own good.
6. Have fun
Isn’t fun the main reason why you decided to enter into an NSA relationship? Then enjoy it as much as you can! Don’t think about the way you perform too much, don’t think about what will happen tomorrow and make it enjoyable. Relax and unwind, this is your time off and you are allowed to have some fun and to laugh (or moan) as loud as you can!
7. Take care of your needs first
You have complete permission to be selfish about your needs above everything else. If you don’t like something, tell him and don’t hesitate to make it clear how you like it. If you’re passionate about sex and you’re having a great time, there is no doubt that it’ll be amazing for him, too. But, you’re your biggest priority.
8. Get crazy
Going together with the previous rule, this is your time to shine and you are not obligated to do anything that might not be pleasant for you. But, you have the freedom to try out all the things you were afraid to do before in a committed relationship out of the fear that your previous partner might not like that something new. But be open-minded to going completely crazy and be spontaneous. Be curious. Be wild.
9. Have sex and go home
Don’t hang out afterwards and don’t spend time cuddling. Once it’s all finished, just get your clothes and go home. You have a bed there, sleep on that one. If you start cuddling and hanging around each other, you will start talking and that’s when you know that you’ve gone too far. You want to keep this going, right? You like this NSA relationship? Then don’t cuddle!
10. Don’t tell him things about yourself
With this I mean: Don’t tell him your secrets; keep them to yourself. Who knows how long this is going to last? Do you really want someone who’s not going to be around for too long to know everything about you? I guess not. Once you start talking about the things that make you insecure or scared, you are stepping outside of your boundaries and you are becoming vulnerable. You don’t want that and you shouldn’t be going toward it.
11. You are allowed to say no
You have no obligations to this person and it’s the same the other way around. You don’t have to go and have sex with them whenever they want it, so if you’re not feeling like it, be clear about it. It’s not like it will mean something if they get mad at you. You are always allowed to move on from them. That’s why if you’re not feeling like having sex right now, say no.
12. Remember that they are not your property
If you see him sitting in a cafe with someone else, don’t get all jealous on him, trying to fight over whatever happened, or getting upset. That’s the first sign of attachment. No strings attached means exactly what it says. He can date whomever he wants and the same thing goes for you, too. Be prepared for this situation, because it will occur. The question is only when.
13. Always have a backup plan
Why would you throw out all the other options you have in your life for an NSA relationship? Don’t do that. It’s not worth it. You are completely allowed to flirt with other men and to go on dates. This will assure you that you will have a backup plan if your current partner decides to find someone else or if he starts having feelings for you. These are all situations in which you are completely allowed to leave what happened behind and move on.