First of all, let’s get something straight! What does it mean to be an emotionally damaged man? How do men become emotionally damaged? What kinds of things need to happen to them to become so closed and not ready to show their emotions? Is it something that maybe happened in their past or was it a certain woman who was guilty of this damage?
I think these questions are very difficult to answer, especially if you have never dated that kind of guy.
Unfortunately, most people think only women have feelings and emotions. They are mothers or sisters and they are always there for their loved ones.
On the other hand, guys don’t express their emotions often. Maybe they are ashamed to do that. Maybe they just want to look like alpha males. They think that if they do that, they will be exposed and hurt by the people around them, including their love partner. So they don’t get attached so easily and they don’t let other people in their life before getting to know them well.
No matter what the reason is, it is a fact that men are human beings. They also have emotions and just because they don’t show them as often as women, it doesn’t mean they can’t get hurt.
Honestly speaking, there is something attractive about emotionally damaged men. I am not quite sure what it is.
Maybe it is their half-smile that never reaches their eyes. Maybe it is the mask they constantly wear on their face to hide their inner battles. Maybe it is that look they get when another man is talking to you.
The catch is, an emotionally damaged man also needs love. You are probably thinking, “What kind of girl would date a man like that?”, right?
Well, there are girls who date men like that. They love them with all their heart and help them fight against the old demons still living inside them. They are there to tell them that even bad times will pass and that no matter what happens, they will be there to comfort them and to give them their support.
Every emotionally broken guy has a bad past. There is something that made scars on his heart.
Just think of Christian Grey.
He was a millionaire, a successful businessman, he was handsome and polite but he was still broken. He was incomplete for his entire life. He had everything he was dreaming of but he didn’t have love. And love is an essential part of our life.
If you are wondering what it feels like to date an emotionally broken man, keep reading. Here are some tips for all of you out there who are struggling with your Mr. Imperfect!
1. Be patient
Emotionally damaged men have been hurt. They have been through hell and back and all they ask for is someone to love them. They just need someone who will accept them with all their imperfections and to be able to love them without limitations.
You should tell him how important he is because if you don’t, he will never believe so. Tell him that you love him. Tell him that he means the world to you. Tell him there isn’t a place you would rather be than in his arms. Once he hears this coming out of your mouth, he will fall in love with you even harder because he will know that there is a woman in his life who is ready to accept him the way he is, with all his scars and the demons from his past. He will finally be happy and satisfied because his life makes sense.
You know why?
Because he needs to hear those words. They are like fuel that is moving him forward.
If you are patient, he will open up to you. He will tell you even his darkest secrets. He won’t be afraid you will hurt him. Finally, he has found a person who was worth waiting for. And he will never let you go.Living with an emotionally damaged man is like a roller coaster of emotions. So, if you are going to date a man like this, make sure that you have enough strength and energy because it will be exhausting. In the end, if you really love him, there won’t be anything that will be hard to you. You will put up with his insanity because you know that it will last only for a few days and after that he will again be a loving and caring partner. If you love him, be prepared for switches in his behavior. You need to know that he will feel great one day and be possessive and jealous the next. If you don’t love him, you won’t be able to endure this. So, think twice before you say, “I DO!”
2. Be there for him
Emotionally damaged men really appreciate when you are around. Even when they are surrounded by a lot of people, they will always feel lonely.
It will be very difficult at the beginning to gain his trust, but when he sees you are there for him, he will start trusting you. It can take a long time until this happens but if you really care for him, you will wait. So make sure that you are there from the beginning of your relationship because he needs to gain trust in you from the start. Show him that you are planning to stay and that you found everything that you had been looking for the day when you met him.
An emotionally damaged man can also love. In fact, he has more love to offer than any other man you will ever meet. He is just being extra careful with the people he lets into his life.
And that is what makes him so special!
3. You can’t fix him
You should remember this fact. Even though he is not perfect, he definitely won’t feel better if you try to change him. Just think about how you would feel like if someone tried to change you. If you are to change; it will be when you decide to and not when others decide, right? That’s the same way he feels.
Men change when they are ready to. You can’t affect his decision, so just leave him until he is ready. He definitely won’t change if you push him and there is a possibility that he will leave you when he sees that you are talking about his past all the time.
Many women try to fix their emotionally damaged men by talking about their past. Well, their past is the main reason they feel this way. If you keep talking about it, you will just make things worse.
So drop it.
If you really love him, wait until he opens up to you. He is the one who will know when the time is right for that. Just by being patient and giving him some space, you are doing him an incredible favor. I know that it might be difficult to you to give so much and receive so little but once he starts trusting you and accepts you completely, he will show you that all your efforts weren’t in vain and that you got the man of your dreams.
4. Don’t be pushy
One of the most important things when dating an emotionally damaged man is not to be pushy.
You can’t expect him to say he loves you after one month. Yes, he has a heart but he keeps it locked, far away from everyone. He has been hurt in the past and this is his self-defense mechanism.
If he doesn’t expose his heart, nobody will hurt him. It’s as simple as that!
The reason he doesn’t expose his heart is because he knows he can’t control it. If he can’t control it, he risks being hurt again.
And honestly, that is not something he wants to go through again.
So, please, try to understand him. It is not easy to fight with those demons living inside of him. He is a human being but he doesn’t feel like one. He would like it if he could live like the rest of us and open up to every new person who came into his life. But the harsh truth is that he can’t. He is a man who needs some extra time to let you inside his heart but once you get there, he won’t erase you from it so easily. He is just an emotionally damaged man, captured in a mental state that he doesn’t like. He knows how difficult it is to live like that so make sure that you don’t remind him of that so often. Just let him open up to you when he feels that it is the right time for that. Try to understand him because it is difficult to live this way. So, bear with him and be his rock. I am sure he will find some ways to pay you back!
5. Don’t apologize for having feelings
I know you will be the one who will show her feelings all the time. And there is nothing bad about that.
You just need to be aware of the fact that your guy won’t show his feelings as often as you do. He has them, they are present but he has a hard time expressing them. It is okay to be each other’s support. If you just give him some time to open up, he will do so. But try to understand him when he says that he has some scars and cracks in his heart that have to be healed. Give him time to show his real face and be there no matter what happens. I know that sometimes you will think of leaving him because it is easier to leave than to fix someone but your heart will tell you not to do that. But trust me, if you give yourself enough time to get to know a man like that, you will see that it was worth fighting for him and that he can provide you with so much more love than any other man that you dated in the past. Nobody said that love is easy and that a real man will just fall from the sky into your lap and that you will live happily ever after. It is more than just being patient enough to wait for someone to come into your life and not doing anything about it. Getting a real man means fighting for him by any means necessary and accepting him the way he is. That is called respect and if you do that, he will cherish you even more.
You can get used to the quiet and cold him and he will get used to the passionate you. Together, you can make a perfect combination. And in the end, that is what love is all about!
So, don’t ever give up on your Mr. Imperfect. God sent him to your life for a reason.
And one more thing: emotionally damaged people love the most sincerely!