You’re probably thinking: why you should go through all that trouble of trying to win a guy over because either he likes you or he doesn’t. As you already know and have learned by now, things are never that easy. Nothing is white or black and there is a big grey zone in which you just don’t know what to do.

Well, actually that’s the beauty of life. It would be extremely boring if you knew every time what to do. If you lived by the rules and those rules brought exactly the same results as you were promised. The thrill would be gone and the chase wouldn’t exist. And I think we could all agree that the chase is too good to be thrown away that easily.

If a guy doesn’t show he is interested in you right away, it doesn’t have to mean it’s true. Maybe he’s scared of approaching you, maybe he just got out of a terrible relationship. Nevertheless, whatever the reason for his second guessing is, there are some ways that will help him decide what to do.

But, I have to warn you. Using these tactics can be extremely helpful but also very damaging if you use them the wrong way. Don’t push too hard or overdo things because you’ll come across as a crazy stalker who doesn’t let him breathe.

Play this ‘womanly’ smart and with decency, and you’ll get just the result you were hoping for. Sometimes you have to try a bit hard to get what you want and believe me, guys love to be chased, but they won’t admit it.

So, here are some ways to chase a guy without him knowing and to win his heart over:

1. Ask questions

No one likes people who constantly talk about themselves. Okay, I get that you are proud of yourself, but give him a chance to ask before you tell him. And to make things more interesting, ask him questions about his job or his hobbies and show interest. It would be great if you actually are interested in what he does and if you’re not, you should probably stay away from him because that relationship won’t have a bright future.

2. Show him that you belong together

This is a bit sneaky and it borders with manipulation, but if you do it the right, ‘sweet’ way, you’re definitely going to pull it off. Of course, I don’t have to repeat that if you really don’t think you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, don’t manipulate him into thinking that you do. If you are not sure of what you want, give it a rest until you know exactly what to do. If you really think that you were made for each other, engage in casual conversation and get his attention by mentioning things which you have in common. Do not make these up because there is no point in doing that.

3. Never try to change him

Many people make this mistake at the beginning of the relationship. They try to change the person they’re with. I’m not talking about small changes that don’t matter because you can live with them. I’m talking about big changes—changes of his personality or the way he thinks. That kind of thinking is toxic to the relationship and if you try to do it, he might become frustrated and angry, and you will be horribly unhappy and disappointed. Not to mention that your relationship will go down in flames, sooner or later. Either accept him for who he is, or don’t bother to date him at all.

4. Show him it’s okay to be vulnerable

Not only do you have to show him that the space around you is a safe zone in which he can be exactly what he is without having to pretend or put on a brave macho mask, it would be perfect if you could also show him your vulnerable side so he can trust you and your intentions. Show him that you won’t judge him or nag him, but that you’ll always tell him if you think he did something wrong—but not to humiliate him, to help him. Show him he has a shoulder to cry on because everybody needs one. Everybody cries.

5. Make him laugh

Laughter cures everything. Nothing beats that positive feeling when you get up in the morning and your day starts with laughter or someone gave you a smile on your way to work or school. Doesn’t that make your whole day? Tell him a stupid joke, embarrass yourself if you have to, but make him laugh. It will make him feel better and it will stay carved in his memory because positive things are the one that stay the longest in our minds.

6. Accept his friends and family

You don’t get to choose your family or your boyfriend’s, and that’s why the best thing you can do is make peace with the fact that they exist and there’s nothing you can do about it. If you don’t like his family, tough—you have to put up with them, and if you do like them, then the problem solves itself. And as for the friends, you have to understand that his friends were there for him long before you came into the picture. They are somewhat like family—people he loves and respects. If you don’t respect the people he does, then you automatically don’t respect him. If you don’t like them, show him you can live with the fact he’ll hang out with them and never forbid him to do so because if you do, it’s over. And if you really like them, show him that as well, but don’t do too far because he might even get a bit jealous if you try to establish too close of a relationship with his friends.

7. Succeed in changing his mind about something

Nothing will impress him more than this, especially if he is stubborn and doesn’t want to listen to anybody’s suggestions about anything. We all have things that we love. He has something that makes him happy and you do, too. You may even have some of the same or similar things that make you happy, but not everything. Try to convince him to try your favorite food or watch your favorite show. Who knows—maybe he will like it and you will really impress him.

7 Ways To Win A Guy Over (And Keep Him Interested)