Emotional abuse is one of the worst forms of abuse because it can’t be seen that easily.
You can give the impression of a perfect couple in public and yet put up with all forms of emotional abuse when you are in private.
It is extremely hard to live with someone you love but who doesn’t see your qualities and who makes you feel like shit every time you want to do something nice.
You feel that you are not good enough and that he is with you just because he feels sorry for you.
And I must say that living like this can not only destroy your faith in love but also cause some mental health issues that are hard to get rid of later.
I would like to talk about some signs of emotional abuse that are hard to notice but that can do you so much harm.
1. Gaslighting
This is one of the most typical forms of emotional abuse.
It happens when your abuser makes you feel you are the crazy one by making you second-guess your memory.
Even if you know what he said and how he reacted in a certain situation, he will convince you that you misunderstood him completely.
He will make it all look good for him, leaving you with memories that you don’t know what to do with.
This form of abuse gives an abuser control over your mind and if you don’t recognize this symptom in time, you can lose yourself completely.
2. He controls where you go and whom you talk to
In his case, it is okay if he goes out and leaves you waiting for his call but if you do something like that, he will freak out.
He will yell and call you names, saying that you are childish for not letting him know where you will be.
The same goes for the people in your life.
He will want to know who is who and why you spend so much time with all of them.
If you mention a male co-worker or a friend, he will find them a threat and he will do anything to prevent you from spending time with them.
He doesn’t want you to live your life to the fullest but to be a submissive wife who will make his wishes come true while he won’t give a damn about you.
3. He belittles you
Whatever you say or whatever you do, he will try to belittle you.
He won’t let you have your own opinions and to every attempt of yours to solve a problem, he will react hysterically.
He will make you feel like you are incapable of handling anything and he will put himself on a pedestal so you could only admire him.
Sometimes, in a relationship with him, you will feel like a child he is trying to raise.
You will walk on eggshells because you don’t want to hurt him.
In all that craziness, you will start losing yourself bit by bit and putting his needs first will only bring you to a brick wall.
In this case, it is very important to recognize all the red flags in time and to prevent abuse as much as you can.
4. Stonewalling
This is another form of emotional abuse and every victim will say that it really hurts.
It is when an abuser deliberately takes all his attention off of you and doesn’t even make any eye contact with you.
You can be in the same room with him but he will ignore you.
He does that to get your attention and to punish you for your behavior.
The problem is that many women fall for this kind of abuse, thinking they really made a big mistake.
It is brainwashing and confusing the victim so they can get away with anything.
It is mind-fucking, where the victim has no other choice but to give up on everything or obey his rules.
It hurts and the longer you are under the influence of this behavior, you will notice that you are slowly losing yourself.
5. He is jealous
A little bit of jealousy in every relationship is healthy but in an emotionally abusive relationship, it is actually sick.
Your abuser will want to know all your passwords, where you go, whom you talk to and what you wear to work.
He will strongly believe that you will betray him with every man who comes close to you so he will prevent any contact between you and other males.
He will do even the impossible to make you only his.
He will tell you he is the only person you need to be happy, keeping you away from your friends and your family.
If you don’t see these red flags in time, you could end up totally disappointed in life and love.
And the healing process can be very long and hurtful.
6. He has sudden outbursts
Has it ever happened to you that your partner exploded all of a sudden?
If you, for example, mentioned someone or something and he started yelling and asking you why you were doing that to him?
Has it ever happened that he blamed you for everything bad and that he portrayed himself as a victim?
If yes, you are unfortunately the victim of emotional abuse.
Abusers always want to come off as angels and they want to make you feel bad for the things you didn’t do.
Even if you try to blame them for something obvious that they did, they will say you are lying.
They are such great manipulators and they can convince you with anything they want you to believe.
7. He is controlling your money
Another form of emotional abuse is money controlling.
No matter whether you earn money or not, every abuser will control how much you spend.
If he is the only one in your family who works, he will literally give you money only when he wants.
If you also work, he will control how much you spend.
He can always find ways to get what he wants and you will feel like you can’t be happy with him.
No matter how much freedom you need, he will always keep you on a short leash.
He will tell you he does it because of love but that is anything but love.
It is abuse in its worst form. It is not natural or healthy and it can ruin your life if you don’t react in time.
8. He is sarcastic and he insults you
When an abuser sees no exit from a situation he doesn’t want to be a part of, he will start insulting using his favorite weapon—sarcasm.
If, for example, you say that you are going for a coffee with your friends and you put on a dress you haven’t worn for such a long time, he will tell you that it can look good only on a middle-aged woman.
Every attempt of yours to improve your appearance will be destroyed with his cynicism and his sarcasm.
He will make you feel like you are ugly.
He will do everything in his power to make you feel you are not worthy of him.
And what is most important, he will convince you that you don’t deserve better.
So, before you settle for less, stop for a second and check if that is the treatment you want for the rest of your life.
No? I didn’t think so!
