We hate to hear it, we hate to admit it to ourselves, but sadly sometimes love isn’t enough to make a relationship last.
Sure, it’s essential, but it’s just a part of the puzzle. There are other crucial puzzle pieces that have to fit together to form the bigger picture.
What we usually forget is the most obvious thing there is that love takes two – two people making efforts, investing equally, and meeting each other halfway.
We fail in our relationships every time we start to think that we love so deeply that it will be sufficient for two.
It never is. It’s always missing something.
Take a look at the 9 most common reasons your relationship won’t work, even if your feelings are real:
1. Your future plans are not the same
He doesn’t see himself getting married. You can’t imagine yourself living in the countryside.
One of you doesn’t want to have children and other can’t imagine a future without them.
And no matter how strongly you feel for each other, you will at one point have to face the fact that you will be miserable if you sign up for a life you don’t really want.
2. There are trust issues that can’t be solved
We all know that relationships are unsustainable if there is no trust.
Yet sometimes we try and do our best to restore that trust, to make things work, because we care so much and don’t want to let go.
If someone betrayed us or in any way made us doubt them, that seed of doubt will be implanted permanently and you won’t be able to get rid of it.
Sooner or later, you will see that there is no other option but to break it off.
3. His family doesn’t accept you
This is a really difficult pill to swallow because it actually doesn’t have anything to do with the two of you or your love, but it’s ruining your relationship anyway.
There are some mothers, for example, who think no one is good enough for their sons.
There are also situations in which some family members want to make you seem like a bad person and similar examples of unnecessary family meddling.
If he is close and attached to his family and he can’t stand up to them when they mistreat you or silence them when they start filling his head with nonsense, it’s only a matter of time before they manage to drive the two of you apart.
4. Every day is more dramatic than the previous one
You pray for a drama-free relationship, but it seems impossible.
You and your partner are on each other’s case 24/7 and you always find new things to argue about or at least discuss at great length.
You can’t remember the last time you had a whole week of peace and harmony.
After one or two quiet days, the storms come bursting in and you are overall more sad than happy.
In spite of all the love and likely undeniable attraction you share, you are simply not compatible.
You are unable to see eye to eye and there is probably no chance you ever will.
5. “Is he really my forever person?” is echoing in your head
There are some things that aren’t working in your relationship, no matter how hard you try or how much you invest.
You feel like all is coming from your end and the other person is not an active participant.
You love, but you don’t know if you are loved back the same way and it’s killing you bit by bit.
That’s why you find yourself unable to shake off the feeling that something better might be out there.
Trust your gut. The thing with a forever person is that you don’t have to wonder, you know.
Not everything has to be perfect, but two people who want to stay together and endlessly love each other are what makes all the difference.
6. You are unable to bridge the physical distance
Relationships can be hard. Long-distance relationships can be even harder.
It’s extremely difficult to maintain a relationship when you are not living in the same city, state, or even continent.
If you are not making plans to live in the same place one day, if not one of you is ready to move, then you are just delaying the inevitable.
You can’t be a long distance couple forever, now can you?
7. Lust is an unknown concept in your relationship
Somewhere down the line, sexual tensions ceased to exist and now you are nothing more than two friends sharing the apartment or keeping each other from singledom. That’s just not the real deal.
The other possible scenario is that you entered a relationship because you developed strong friendship feelings for a certain person and thought that spark will ignite later on.
I’m sorry to break it to you, but it never will.
Chemistry, lust, attraction, and sex are what separates a relationship from friendship, and though they are not the most important components, they play a great part.
8. He is jealous
I believe that there is a healthy dose of jealousy in every relationship and that’s more than okay.
It can be even flattering at times. But once that healthy limit is crossed, a relationship can seem a lot like hell.
If your partner wants to know your every move, gets angry every time you speak with someone of the opposite sex, accuses you of cheating for no good reason, it’s safe to say that he is overly jealous and that he will mentally suffocate you.
9. He is abusive
It goes without saying that this is an unhealthy relationship and that you should get out ASAP if you ever find yourself in something that is in any way abusive.
We hear a lot of women say that they love their abuser in spite of all the mental or physical harm they inflict.
It’s really hard to break that unhealthy bond they feel, but the sooner the better.
True love will never hurt you in any way; everything else is a lie.