Let’s face it, being in a long-distance relationship is anything but easy. Long-distance love is hard work, and that’s nothing new. But, they are also the best way to see if you and your partner are truly meant to be together.
A long-distance relationship is the purest and most accurate test of love.
It tests your love in ways you could never even imagine. It’s the most difficult test you and your long-distance partner will ever take, and if you pass it, you can rest assured knowing you’ve found each other’s true soulmate.
In the beginning, you think you are prepared for all the obstacles and challenges that go with LDR, but the truth is that you have no idea what it’s really like… How hard and painful it really is.
You really can’t know how much the kilometers will hurt you until you experience it on your own skin.
However, when you know who and what you’re fighting for, it immediately becomes easier because you know it is all worth it.
You know it’s just a phase, one short period of time that can never be compared to what’s actually waiting for you… The forever of togetherness.
Do Long-Distance Relationships Work?
Like all other romantic relationships, the LDR can work, too, IF both sides want it strong enough and are willing to work and put effort into making it work.
If you expect love to do all the work and make it last, then you must know that your relationship is already doomed to fail. Love is one of the most important foundations in every relationship, but it’s definitely not enough to make things work.
It’s all about the quality and quantity of love, respect, trust, emotional connection, and appreciation the long-distance couple has for each other. If only one of these things is lacking in a relationship, it definitely won’t be able to work and prosper.
I know so many couples who were in an LDR and ended up getting married. On the other hand, I also know some long-distance couples who had a very hard time dealing with the distance and ended up caving under the pressure.
The bottom line is that it’s up to you and your partner. Long-distance love can be like that of fairy tales, but it can also turn into your worst nightmare.
How Long Can A Long-Distance Relationship Last?
An LDR can last until the couple decides to make things official and get married or move in together. It’ll last as long as both sides eagerly and equally contribute to their relationship. It’s as simple as that.
You need to understand one thing, though, distance can never determine how long a relationship will last. In other words, it isn’t and can never be the reason for breaking up.
Distance isn’t a real determiner of a relationship’s duration.
So, a long-distance couple can make their relationship work even over several years. Trust me, most LDRs are more successful than geographically close relationships these days.
How To Make A Long-Distance Relationship Work
You need to keep in touch regularly while, on the other hand, you also need to give one another enough alone time. You need to trust one another and trust in your love too.
You need to consider each other best friends. You need to forget about the distance and focus on improving your relationship and making it strong and healthy.
A great piece of advice for all the long-distance couples comes from the New York-based relationship expert, Ken Page, “Two thoughts for people who are dating across borders: Be creative and be inventive; and, practice honesty.”
There is so much advice that can help you cope with the distance, but before we start talking about it, I just want to emphasize one thing to all the LDR couples…
Before you wish one another good morning, thank God for crossing your paths and stay thankful for that in every situation.
11 Trusted Long-Distance Relationship Tips
So, the million-dollar question here is, ‘How do I deal with a long-distance relationship?‘ Well, I’m not sure I’ll win that prize, but still, I’m going to help you.
I’ve gathered the most efficient tips (some from my own experience, some from my experience working as a relationship expert) that can help you survive the distance.
1. Go wholeheartedly into it!
Once you accept your relationship and go long-distance, you need to go all-in!
You need to try your hardest to make things work. You need to be ready to put an immense amount of effort into maintaining it and making it last.
If you feel that you won’t be able to cope, then don’t accept it at all. Be honest and direct with your partner and tell them you simply can’t stand being physically separated.
However, if you do enter into this kind of relationship, be ready to cope with all the challenges that come with it. If you decide to commit, then the only right thing to do is stay committed to the end.
2. Stay patient
You think that the person you are with is worth the wait. In that case, you should be prepared to face whatever comes your way and wait as long as it takes.
But when you find yourself in that situation, you realize time is something abstract and that one day feels like a week, a week like a month and a month like a year.
And even though you didn’t spend every waking hour together when you shared the same location, the feeling is simply not the same.
It basically feels like it’s been forever since you were close to them and it can physically hurt how much you miss them.
However, right now, your only option is to be patient. Look on the bright side… One day, you’ll get together, and from that day on, you’ll never leave each other’s sides again.
3. Stay committed and above anything else, stay loyal
You are prepared for your relationship to be based on a series of long FaceTime talks, chats on social media, and many, many phone calls.
All that online communication makes things easier when you can’t see your loved one in person and want to talk about this and that.
However, they also make it harder because you are listening to their voice and seeing their face, but you are unable to hug or kiss them.
You miss their presence… You miss them, and no type of technology can ever replace them.
Not to mention the physical part of a relationship. The long period of abstinence sure makes it feel like you are celibate.
It’s extremely difficult but when you are waiting for the right person, infidelity doesn’t even cross your mind. You want them and only them. Cheating is totally unacceptable.
4. Have regular check-ins
In order to maintain an LDR, you really need to establish healthy communication. That means keeping in touch, being honest, and respecting each other’s opposing beliefs and opinions.
The first thing you need to do is to get to know each other’s calendars. That’s what will help you maintain real-time communication.
Jordan Gray, the relationship expert, explains how important it is to keep your calendars harmonized: “This is especially helpful when you’re in different time zones and makes day-to-day communication that much smoother, and it also helps you avoid sending them a naughty text during an inappropriate time.”
Consider technology your best friend!
Whether it’s through social media, video calls, or Skype, the point is that you need to talk to each other every day. You need to talk about things that are happening in your everyday life and about your relationship too.
You can keep talking and seeing each other regularly, even when you’re miles apart, if you continue to use technology to your advantage.
5. Keep the connection strong
I’m sure many little things are driving you mad, but you need to find a way to persist through them. Don’t allow them to affect your relationship or happiness.
Listen to each other, be open about everything, be affectionate, support one another, practice acceptance… These are all small ways you can foster a connection in your relationship.
Emotional connection shows how strong your relationship is. And once you build a strong bond, neither distance nor any other obstacle that comes your way will ever be able to separate you.
Make the honeymoon phase last forever!
6. Never be afraid to express your deepest feelings
Carla Marie Manly, a clinical psychologist, says, “When you are not with a partner who brings us a sense of loving comfort and connection, feelings of anxiety and stress tend to increase.”
And truth to be told, it’s completely normal to feel that range of mixed emotions when you’re physically separated from your loved one.
There is also a perfect medical explanation for it: when we aren’t with the one we love and long for, the levels of oxytocin (the love hormone) drop rapidly, which causes us to feel those negative emotions.
However, the point here is that you need to be open about those feelings and talk about them with your significant other. Don’t keep them bottled up inside because that’s how you’ll sabotage your relationship.
If your partner truly loves you, they’ll try to understand you. On the other hand, they’ll probably sympathize with you because they would want to be close to you too.
7. Prioritize intimacy
What pisses me off the most is that some people think it’s impossible to keep the intimacy alive in LDRs. And that’s probably the thing that scares and stops people from entering a long-distance relationship.
There are so many ways you can keep the sexual sparks flying in this type of relationship. A lack of physical touch doesn’t have to mean there is a lack of intimacy.
Once again, it’s all up to your creativity and willingness to make an effort. There are flirty games you can play, dirty talk and sexting, enjoying a blue movie together, and (my personal favorite) phone sex.
8. Stay honest, no matter what
If you notice at any moment that your feelings have started to change, that maybe you’re falling in love with someone else, you need to be upfront about it with your partner.
I know it’s difficult to leave someone, especially when you aren’t able to do it face to face, but trust me, it’s way better than leading them on or being unfaithful.
Even if you do something you regret the next morning because you love your long-distance partner, you need to come clean and be honest about it with them.
We all make mistakes, and mistakes are never proof that you don’t love someone. On the other hand, lying and deceiving someone is always convincing evidence you don’t care.
9. Break free from unreasonable jealousy
Trust me, jealousy is the last thing your LDR needs.
If you doubt your partner’s fidelity, be bold and confront them about it ASAP. Don’t keep it to yourself and allow it to poison you with bitterness and anxiety.
To cope with your possessive thoughts and feelings, you should first discover what the main trigger of your jealousy is. Once you find that root cause, you should discuss it with your SO and work on fixing it together.
If your own insecurities are causing unreasonable jealousy, then you need to work on yourself, not your relationship. You need to improve and cultivate your self-esteem before it ruins your relationship.
10. Focus on the future
Keep all of the goals you made for your future together in mind at all times. They will give you the strength to continue fighting.
Every time you feel down and dark thoughts start overwhelming you, just try to remind yourself that all of this is just temporary.
Your present is important, but it’s in no way near as important as your future. One day, this present of yours will stay in the past, while you’ll be enjoying the most perfect present ever.
11. Learn to manage your fear of uncertainty
If you don’t make it and your relationship falls apart, you will at least know where you stand. It sometimes happens that you fail.
Distance shows you things you didn’t see when you were too close. Maybe you realized it was wrong from the start. At least you tried.
So what if it didn’t work, it enabled you to see what you and the other person were made of. It tested your patience, your mutual trust and the limits of your love.
If your love reached the limit, it was never meant to be. Be proud of yourself for trying and giving it a chance. Be grateful for distance because it allowed it to end.
However, if love is true, there will be no limits and distance can’t do any harm. ‘Distance is just a test to see how far true love can travel’.
If your relationship survives distance, it will make you even closer when you are finally back together.
It will be the most amazing feeling you have ever felt. The blessing of hugging your entire world after so much time apart is something priceless.
The Golden Advice For Long-Distance Relationships!
All these tips will help you maintain your LDR if you follow them in the right way. However, there is one piece of advice, the golden rule you need to follow blindly to make your relationship successful:
Believe in the strength and power of your love. ♡
If your love is honest, nothing in this world can harm it or tear it apart. Absolutely nothing.
Your love is and needs to be the relational link between you. So, don’t allow others to affect it or weaken it in any way.
The path your relationship is currently on is challenging and difficult. And you know what? There are still many obstacles waiting for you on that path.
But, you can and will overcome every single one of them IF you keep traveling together through it, holding hands.
Your love is the shield that protects your relationship from all those obstacles and external influences too. You just need to take care of that shield, so it doesn’t get rusty because, without it, your relationship wouldn’t have any protection.
20 Fun And Bonding Long-Distance Relationship Activities
Even though many people think that long-distance partners don’t have many activities they can do together, the truth is that there are many things you can do in a long-distance relationship.
Doing fun things together won’t only keep the spark alive, it’ll also make the bond between partners stronger and deeper.
Even if you’re physically far away from each other, technology can bring you closer, but you just need to learn how to turn it to your advantage.
Arrange an online date and let your creativity run wild.
Or, if creativity is your weak spot, you can simply go through my list of long-distance dating relationship games and activities and choose the one you like the most for your next video call date.
2. Find a new hobby you can do indoors via video chat.
3. Compile a playlist of your favorite songs.
4. An online karaoke night sounds fun!
5. Get to know each other deeper by playing the 21 Questions game.
6. Or, if you want to make it more fun, choose the Never Have I Ever game.
7. For top fun, play the Truth Or Dare game via Skype.
8. If you want to spice things up, a dirty Would You Rather question game is what you need!
9. Exercise or do yoga on FaceTime.
10. Cook together and then enjoy the meal together.
11. Send each other a present and open it together.
12. Share your childhood photographs.
13. Create your bucket list.
14. Plan your next trip together.
15. Design your own dream house.
16. Why not try an online double date?
17. Choose a book, read it, and then discuss it together.
18. Write a romantic poem for each other.
19. Take a fun and interesting quiz together.
20. Take one another on a city tour.
What Kills Long-Distance Relationships?
Well, I’ve already said that distance is never the reason for a relationship to end. Especially not now in this modern world of technology.
Lack of communication, insecurities, distrust, unfaithfulness, and lack of intimacy are undeniably the biggest assassins of LDRs.
Actually, those things can harm or kill any kind of romantic relationship. No matter if you’re in a long-distance or geographically close relationship, the fact is that a relationship doesn’t have a future if any fundamental bases are missing.
You need to stay connected despite the distance, so regular check-ins are a MUST. If there is no healthy communication between long-distance partners, it’s just a matter of time before they start drifting apart.
Insecurities in a relationship are the absolute worst. Okay, I agree that in LDRs, there is always that feeling of uncertainty, but if you want to make it work, you need to learn to cope with those kinds of feelings.
Of course, when it comes to these ‘killers of long-distance dating,’ I would put lack of trust first place. It’s impossible to date someone if you constantly feel the need to check up on them because you genuinely don’t trust them.
I think that what all long-distance partners miss the most in their relationships is physical touch. Not being able to hug your partner when you feel they need it or when you need it is painful.
And unfortunately, that lack of physical touch sometimes leads us to make some very bad decisions. Trying to fulfill your physical needs with someone else is the worst thing you can do to your LDR partner.
If you feel unfulfilled in your relationship, end it and then do whatever you need or want to do. Don’t hurt the other person because even though they may forgive you, there will come a day you won’t be able to forgive yourself.
Long-Distance Relationship Quotes
Just to encourage you and make you realize that you aren’t the only couple fighting the distance, I’ve compiled this list of the perfect long-distance relationship love quotes.
I truly hope they’ll make you realize that true love overpowers distance. Every-single-time.
1. “Distance teaches us to appreciate the days that we are able to spend together and distance teaches us the definition of patience. It is a reminder that every moment together is special, and every second should be cherished.” – Unknown
2. “Distance means so little when someone means so much.” – Tom McNeal
3. “I don’t cry because we’ve been separated by distance, and for a matter of years. Why? Because for as long as we share the same sky and breathe the same air, we’re still together.” – Donna Lynn Hope
4. “Distance is not for the fearful; it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love.” – Meghan Daum
5. “The tough part of having a long-distance relationship is the fight. Normal people can fight and make up by talking face to face. That gets a lot more difficult in a long-distance relationship.” – Darren Klee
6. “Love is not just being with someone. Love is feeling someone even if miles separate you.” – Unknown
7. “In true love, the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged.” – Hans Nouwens
8. “If love cannot stand the test of time, then it has failed the test of love.” – Bernard Byer
9. “Distance unites missing beats of two hearts in love.” – Munia Khan
10. “Waiting does not bother me, nor does the distance that is cropping up between us. All I want is a true commitment and to know that your heart will never change.” – Ting Stores
11. “Love knows no distance; it hath no continent; its eyes are for the stars.” – Gilbert Parker
12. “The value of love is slowly lost when we have way too much. There is just no time to appreciate it. It is in times of separation and distance that you truly understand the meaning of love.” – Tiffany Health
13. “Distance sometimes lets you know who is worth keeping and who is worth letting go.” – Lana Del Rey
14. “Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it inflames the great.” – Roger de Bussy-Rabutin
15. “The definition of a long-distance relationship: Inconveniently the most effective way to find out if you really love each other.” – Unknown
16. “Distance between two people is inconsequential when their souls are united.” – Matshona Dhliwayo
17. “I can bear the distance but cannot imagine a life without you. For you, I will go through the distance and the heartaches. You are my one and only.” – Montana Lee
18. “Close together or far apart, you’re forever in my heart.” – Harry Styles
19. “Distance never separates two hearts that really care.” – Cheryl Ott
20. “I believe in the immeasurable power of love; that true love can endure any circumstance and reach across any distance.” – Steve Maraboli
A long-distance relationship gives you a series of midterm tests that you have to pass with flying colors to have a true evaluation of your love.
It teaches you that spending time with your significant other is important but not crucial to make a relationship work. It also teaches you that true love is worth the fight. Always.
Those are all love-saving lessons that will make your love life flourish.
Also, long-distance partners who manage to beat the distance create such a strong and unique bond… one that can’t be seen in any other type of couple, one that will keep them together forever.
Neither time nor distance can ever stand in the way of true love or put it in danger. After all, love is the most powerful force, one that can move the whole universe.