Most of us make one fatal mistake when we’re in a relationship. We give too much of ourself in our relationship and somewhere along the way, we totally lose our identity.
We let our partner control our whole life because we think that’s the way it should be. We think that’s love. We do it in the name of love.
Trust me, that has nothing to do with love. It’s actually unhealthy and toxic behavior. Once that relationship ends, you’ll be crushed and you won’t know how to move on.
Losing your identity means losing yourself, which is something you must not ever do, not for anyone, no matter how much you think you love that person.
Yes, I said ‘think’ because that’s definitely not true love; it’s infatuation or maybe it’s even lust but it’s never true love.
A person who asks you to change, one who’s trying to change who you are, is never the right person, is never your soulmate.
True love from the right person will never ask you to change. It’ll accept you just the way you are. That person will fall in love with all the pieces of you.
They’ll fall in love with your good sides as much as with your flaws and imperfections. They’ll honestly love you for who you are.
You can never be sure when your relationship will end or if it really is meant to last forever. You can love someone with every piece of your being and still lose that person.
I do believe that we all have that one person who is meant for us, our soulmate, but still, I really don’t believe that you’ll immediately know they’re the one when you meet them.
Don’t think that I’m writing all of this just like that, as I’m writing this from my own experience. I lost my identity once in a relationship and I was very damaged once it ended.
I gave my all to a man who decided to leave me as if we never even existed, as if our love was never real. I really thought that I’d spend my life with that person and it took me a long time to realize that it was all over.
It took me a very, very long time to come to terms with the fact that I had to move on and keep moving through life without him, all alone.
And I was really all alone because my friends also left me long before that, when they understood how much I had changed in that relationship.
I was a completely different person and they had every right to stop hanging out with me.
Yes, accepting all of that was very difficult but the worst part was recovering. I didn’t want to go back to the person I was before and I didn’t like the person who I became because of my ex.
I realized that I had to change once again. I had to work on realizing my worth and improving my self-esteem.
That’s when I promised myself that I’d never again allow anyone to change me and that I’d never change for another person ever again, no matter how much I loved or cared for them.
Priorities must always be known and your main priority always has to be yourself or else you allow another person to hurt you and break your heart.
Of course, you must make compromises with your partner but there should be some boundaries. There are some things you should never compromise on and your values and ideals, for example, are two of those.
You should stay true to yourself no matter what. Don’t allow anyone to affect your thinking or your perspectives on life.
Don’t think that you should change yourself to get someone to like you and never think that you’re unworthy of love or that you aren’t good enough for someone. Because you are and you must always be aware of that.
Never be a meek mouse and always let your voice be heard loud. Never lose yourself for anyone else because your identity is what makes you different from all the others. It’s a gift that makes you unique, so don’t discard it.