When you were a little girl, you watched and read fairy tales. You watched a beautiful princess being rescued by a strong, brave and fearless prince. And the two of them lived happily ever after.
And as you grew older, you continued watching romantic movies. In all of these movies, the girl was innocent and sensitive, while the male protagonist was this tough guy, who came to save the day. And none of these scenarios presented a man as being vulnerable, as if that would make him weak.
And with time, you’ve adopted this concept of gender roles as something normal and natural, while it is actually anything but that.
And deep down, this is exactly what you wanted for yourself. Of course, you never expected for your life to be a fairy tale—you always knew you couldn’t find your Mr. Perfect. But you were always looking for your Prince Charming and you always assumed that this was the only type of man who could give you your happy ending.
You wanted to have this fearless, tough man by your side, who would be the savior you’ve waited for all along.
With time, you’ve started adding different qualities to this imaginary guy’s personality. You’ve imagined the way he should look and the way he should treat you but the premise has always remained the same.
And modern society has supported your views. Everyone kept implying what a real man should be like. Everyone would tell you that he has to make you feel like a woman and that you need a real man by your side.
This man should be physically and emotionally strong. He should be someone you can always rely on and he should always have your back, no matter what.
And all of this is true—you need someone like this. But this doesn’t mean that this man doesn’t have emotions.
This doesn’t mean this man can’t be sad, hurt or disappointed. It doesn’t mean he never cries and it definitely doesn’t mean he doesn’t fight his own insecurities.
It doesn’t mean that a guy is less of a man if he has emotions, if he allows them to control him from time to time and if he shows and verbalizes these emotions.
Instead, it makes him a man who is worthy of your time and efforts.
If a man isn’t afraid to show you his vulnerable side, it is a clear sign he believes in you. This man is not afraid that you’ll use his secrets against him and he doesn’t fear that you’ll take advantage of his weaknesses.
He believes you to the point where he is assured he can show you his true self, without the fear of being judged or ridiculed.
He is certain he can rely on you, no matter what, and he thinks of you as this special person in his life and that is the reason he wants you to know the essence of his personality.
This man is obviously in touch with his emotions and it means he will understand yours better. It means he will have fewer chances of being selfish and egocentric because he is probably an empath.
It means he is honest and that he never runs away from his feelings.
It means he respects you enough not to pretend he is someone he is not.
It means he is confident enough to show you his true colors and that he doesn’t need you or anyone else around him assuring him he is a real man, because he knows who he is.
Although you may think of this man as being too weak, trust me, you couldn’t be more wrong. His strength can be best seen in his vulnerability. It only shows you that he is strong enough to recognize his deepest emotions, to confront them on his own and to share them with you.
And this is exactly the type of man you need in your life and the type of man who will make you feel like the happiest woman in the world.
Although it doesn’t seem this way, this guy will be your rock for the rest of your life. He will be your biggest support, no matter what you are going through in life.
This will be the man you will always trust and the man you can always rely on. The man who will be your peaceful harbor and your anchor.
So please, stop chasing the wrong guys.
Stop going after bad boys who give you excitement and stop fooling yourself that one of these guys is your Prince Charming. Stop chasing tough guys who show you no emotions just because someone told you this makes them bigger men.
Because trust me—it doesn’t and it never will.
A teacher. A dreamer. A writer. A woman who’s been through all of the things you are going through. A woman who’s learned on her mistakes and whose advice you can trust. A woman who is trying to find her place under the stars. A woman just like you.