You both decided it’s time to separate. As always, the separation act is easier said than done, and it usually comes with so many follow-up questions like What caused the separation? or How do I win my wife back?
As you’re checking her profile on social media, this one question occupies your mind: Does my wife miss me during separation?
And, this is what you say to yourself: Nah, she probably doesn’t miss me AT ALL. My wife hates me (I mean my ex-wife). She’s happy with some other guy. I wonder who that guy is.
Wait, what if she hasn’t met anyone yet because she’s thinking about giving us another chance? Why am I thinking about all this? I hate my wife (I mean my ex-wife). I don’t even miss her.
OR do you?
If you find yourself thinking about whether or not she misses you, this is a strong indicator that it’s you who misses her in the first place. If it weren’t so, trust me, you wouldn’t give a damn about her.
You miss her silly facial expressions when she’s acting childish. You miss sleeping next to her, doing all those fun activities together, making her laugh, and so on.
Actually, what you really miss is times when everything went smooth in your marriage. Once things started going south, you decided it was time to separate.
And now, you’re thinking about getting her back and giving your marriage a second chance, but before doing that, you need to know the answer to this question: Does my wife miss me during separation? Right? Hell, yes!
That is where my humble relationship expertise comes to the rescue! Together, we’ll go through the obvious signs she misses you during separation.
After that, we’ll see what the potential cause for your separation was (which will help you get her back and save your marriage).
AND, of course, you’ll also find plenty of helpful tips on how to get your wife back. Okay, I’m ready when you are! Let’s go!
Does My Wife Miss Me During Separation? 16 Clear Signs She DOES
She constantly finds excuses to get in touch with you.
Here’s the truth. Many wives (and husbands) start hating their ex-partner after a separation or a divorce. They apply the No contact rule and “delete” that person from their life.
However, some partners aren’t so lucky to have this no contact privilege because they still need to be in contact with their ex in case they have shared custody of their children, mutual business, and similar.
If the two of you don’t have any mutual obligations and she has no excuse to contact you, but she still does, this is a huge indicator that she misses you!
After all, not a single man or woman would waste their time on someone they’re not interested in (especially when it comes to ex-partners). Usually, we want to move on ASAP, but sometimes we don’t.
A lot of men misinterpret this one sign, thinking “Nah, the only reason why she contacts me is that she’s feeling lonely, she’s bored, or she just wants to see if I miss her.”
I won’t lie to you. Sometimes, this is the truth, but other times, it’s not. Perhaps she’s worried about your well-being or worried about you meeting someone new, and that’s why she insists on staying in touch with you. Hmm…
Do you think that she’s pressing the like button on your posts just for the sake of it? Or, that she’s commenting because she’s just feeling bored at the moment?
Think again. If she constantly (or frequently) likes (and comments on) your social media posts, this means that she’s still interested in your life and she wants to stay updated.
This is one of those subtle signs that she misses you. It’s her way of saying to you: Hey, I really miss you. Perhaps we should get back together?
If you know that she has never been a direct person, then you shouldn’t take these subtle signs for granted. Also, pay attention to the date of your posts.
If she likes something that you uploaded last week (or last year), chances are she’s inspecting your profile because she MISSES you!
(And, perhaps she pressed those likes by accident and now she’s totally embarrassed about it.)
She’s having a hard time moving on (or dating others).
After a separation or a divorce, some women go on with their life as if nothing happened. They even enter a new relationship known as a rebound relationship, and after some time, they completely forget about their ex.
BUT, some women are not that lucky. Many of them have a difficult time dating others or moving on. They have trust issues or are simply unwilling to date.
There are so many reasons why a woman would avoid entering a dating pool after a separation and one of them is YOU.
Perhaps the reason why she’s having a hard time dating other men is that she still has feelings for you and she hopes that one day, you’ll get back together with her.
Sounds perfect, right? But, don’t mess this up by waiting too long for her to approach you. You might be waiting on her to make the first move, and she might be expecting the same from you.
If you really care about her, then don’t let her wait too long. Otherwise, she might start dating others even if it means forcing herself to do so.
She still talks to you / texts you as though you’re still together.
Have you noticed that she talks to you as though you’re still together? Now, you’re probably wondering: But, how do you do that?
Here are some examples of how she doesn’t see you as her ex-husband, but treats you as if you two are still together:
• She keeps you updated on her personal life (her work, health, lifestyle, friends)
• She gossips about her friends and family like she used to do before
• She tries hard to be humorous and make you laugh
• She asks you for advice on random things
• She sends you your old photos taken when you were still together
• She still sends those cute emoticons, emojis, GIFs, and stickers like she used to send before
• She tells you about her day in detail (funny situations, people she recently met, and similar)
Apart from the above things, here’s another sign that you should take into consideration: She was the one initiating contact the first time, and she often texts you first.
One way to know for sure if she misses you and wants you back or if she is just playing with you is by the amount of her effort.
If she’s trying really hard to be entertaining when communicating with you (virtually or in real life), then this is a good sign that she still has feelings for you.
She’s still open to catching up as friends.
If a woman decides to stay friends with you after the separation, there are many potential reasons for that.
Perhaps she wants to stay friends with you only to make you suffer once she finds someone new or she wants to remain friends with you because of kids.
But, don’t worry, there’s no need to overthink this. Don’t treat this sign as a separate unit, pay attention to other signs.
If the majority of them perfectly depict your current situation, then you know she DEFINITELY misses you.
Instead of worrying why she’s interested in catching up as friends, use this to your advantage and re-attract her!
She’s trying to make you jealous.
Is she trying to make you jealous in real life or on social networks?
If she’s constantly posting pictures with her male co-workers and friends (and she’s never done it before), then you know that there’s something fishy going on.
No, I don’t mean fishy in a negative way! I mean that she’s probably trying to make you jealous. There are two reasons why a woman would want to make a man jealous after a separation:
1. She wants to see if you’re still interested in her.
2. She wants you to die from jealousy.
If you’re on a trial separation, overthinking things, or looking for signs your wife is cheating on you, it won’t help. The only way to find out if she’s making you jealous because she wants to see your reaction is to do the same thing to her. Sneaky, I know.
She’s still in touch with your friends and family.
Unless they are in mutual business, I see no reason for anyone to stay in touch with their ex’s friends and family.
So, if she still communicates with them on a daily basis and hangs out with them, chances are she’s not ready to give up on you just yet!
Your friends and family are the perfect source for getting information on you, your love life, and everything about you! Also, winning them will help her get you back.
Once your friends and fam start talking to you about what a nice woman she is and begging you to reunite with her, you will have no choice but to do just that.
Or, that might be exactly what you plan on doing.
She talks about you with everyone.
Does she talk about you with your friends and family, her friends and family, and perhaps some random strangers? Well, if that is the case with her, then you know she definitely hasn’t moved on yet!
When someone is really over the other person, they are really over them. They don’t use every single opportunity to talk about their ex (a person whom they’re trying to delete from their life).
Constantly talking about you means that you’re still on her mind (more than you can think of)!
She’s literally unable to talk about anything else but you. Her friends and family probably find this a little bit annoying, but I’m sure they also get the fact that she’s still interested in you and that she misses you A LOT.
She gets jealous easily.
If you’re still in contact with her and you’re seeing each other, have you noticed that she gets jealous easily of your words or actions?
Or, maybe some of your common friends have told you something about her acting jelly about that one woman you talked to last week?
If a woman is still into you, she will see every single female as a threat.
She will overthink, worry, act crazy and irrationally, and will try hard not to show her jealous side to you. But, you, as a man, should be able to notice that easily.
If she starts asking you lots of questions about that one woman you met recently, then you can be sure she’s totally jealous of her.
Also, if she uses humor to tease you about something, she’s probably doing it because she’s insecure and she wants to make sure that you still miss her the way she misses you.
Her behavior seems quite flirtatious.
Is she winking at you in person (or when chatting with you)? Is she wearing hot outfits when hanging out with you? Does she subtly touch you?
From body language to virtual teasing, there are so many types of flirting behavior. If you notice that she’s flirting with you, know that she’s doing it INTENTIONALLY. Why?
Because that woman still WANTS you. She wants to catch your attention and she wants you to notice her. So, consider giving her a compliment or two for her efforts.
Seeking out attention from you.
This one is in close connection with the previous sign. If you’re still asking yourself: Does my wife miss me during separation?, just pay attention to her behavior.
Is she seeking attention from you? Is she trying to catch your attention by being witty, cracking jokes, making you laugh, or acting mysterious all of a sudden?
Whatever she’s doing to seek attention, it is a good thing! It means she wants to be noticed by you and she wants you to pursue her.
My friend, it’s high time you roll up your sleeves and do just that!
Her friends reach out to you.
Do you think that her friends reaching out to you is a sheer coincidence? I don’t think so.
In 90% of cases, her friends will reach out to you because she told them to do so. Her best friends will tell you things like I have to tell you something about her and what she was doing last night / last week.
By doing that, she’s creating DRAMA, and best of all, her friends will tell her your reaction. She will know whether you miss her or not without ever needing to ask you that. Amazing, right?
Well, two can play this game.
You can do the same thing to her (if you have enough free time for that, and if your friends are willing to participate in this ‘separation game’) so that you save yourself from overthinking this one sentence: Does my wife miss me during separation?
She drunk dials or drunk texts you.
If she has always been an emotionally distant wife, then you can’t expect her to be open about her feelings, and to tell you exactly how she feels about you, she might need help from alcohol or other remedies.
Just when you think to yourself, My wife wants a divorce, there she is drunk dialing or drunk texting you!
When you remind her of that the next day, she’ll say that she doesn’t remember anything.
But, her act speaks enough about her intentions. The Latin phrase “In vino veritas” (In wine, there is truth) claims that a person under the influence of alcohol will be more likely to speak about their hidden thoughts and desires.
I was in a similar situation when I broke up with my ex-boyfriend. He would send me multiple text messages when drunk. Those drunk phone calls were truly pathetic, but at the same time, heartwarming.
Don’t you think it would be fun if both of you drunk dialed each other at the same time? One thing is sure, there would be lots of truth revealed, but neither the two of you would remember anything.
She has become a party animal.
I remember vividly what my friend said after the separation from his wife: After all these years of marriage, she has become a party animal. We’ve been together since high school days and I never saw her act like that.
If you’re on a trial separation and your wife has become a party animal, you might see this as one of the biggest signs your wife wants to leave you, but the truth is that she just wants to get your attention.
She wants to make you jealous and anxious about losing her completely, and this method somehow works every single time.
When men realize that a woman is perfectly happy without them, they become obsessed with her. Why? I guess we’ll never know for sure.
She brings up old memories.
After asking yourself Does my wife miss me during separation, it’s time to also ask yourself the following question:
Does she have the urge to remind you of the good days, funny situations, and beautiful old memories from the time when you were truly happy together?
If she does that, then you know nostalgia is taking its toll on her, and she can’t help herself but think about those good, happy times you had together.
She wants to (subtly) remind you of the fact that you can still be happy together only if you want to be. So, the question is: Do you want to? (Because she certainly does).
She also wants to see your reaction, and if you’ll be equally excited as she is about that one old photo. If you add wine to the equation, you’ll be halfway to reconciling! (Just kidding).
She’s interested in your future plans.
Does she ask you things about your future plans regarding work, or why you’re planning to move someplace else?
Why would she be interested in your future plans if she doesn’t give a damn about you? That’s right. The truth is, she cares about you and she still wants to be a part of your life.
The reason why she’s asking about your future plans is that she wants to stay updated.
She’s wondering about whether your future still has a place for her in it. If it does, then make sure to let her know before it’s too late!
What Caused The Separation?
The relationship has become stagnant.
Bored husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Bored wife: Because I married the wrong man!
This is one of my favorite husband-wife jokes that perfectly portrays the pain of being stuck in a rut. Usually, this is the number one cause why spouses decide to separate.
If you have difficulty remembering the last time you did something fun together (of course, when you were still together), then this might be the reason why your marriage went south.
Spicing things up in the bedroom, surprising each other, finding new fun activities, and even playing fun texting games with your partner can make a huge difference when it comes to keeping the spark alive.
Often, partners become too comfy with each other and act too casual. That’s totally okay and desirable, well, until partners start taking each other for granted.
When that happens, their relationship becomes stagnant and they no longer enjoy spending time together.
Lack of effort.
I know this will sound a little bit cliche, but it’s the truth: Real men don’t make excuses – they make an effort. But, this doesn’t only apply to men, yet to women as well.
Both parties need to be willing to make an effort in order for a relationship to function. Every healthy and loving relationship consists of the following things: respect, appreciation, mutual effort, and compromise.
EFFORT is what connects them all into a meaningful unit. Without effort, there would be no respect, no appreciation, and no compromising.
Lack of effort is another common reason why relationships become stagnant and unhealthy. As always, it’s all about the little things.
If you want to learn how to seduce your wife again, you need to roll up your sleeves and pursue her.
Make her a coffee in the morning, hug her, kiss her often (not only when you’re going to work), surprise her with a DIY unique gift, give her a flower, and so on.
Men don’t understand how much these little things mean to women. I appreciate it more when a man gives me a big hug than anything else, and I’m sure that every woman feels the same.
Abuse or infidelity.
One of the most complex and heartbreaking reasons that lead to a separation is abuse or infidelity.
When one partner is abusive or unfaithful, this leaves serious consequences on both partners and their relationship as well.
The worst of all is broken trust. It will take a lot of time before you succeed in regaining broken trust in a relationship. Of course, this depends on the type of infidelity.
You probably already know that there are many types of infidelity, and here are the most “popular” ones: emotional infidelity, cheating on the phone, and physical infidelity.
However, I bet you don’t know that emotional infidelity is more heartbreaking than the physical one.
It takes more time to recover from emotion-based infidelity than physical infidelity because you’ve been unfaithful with your heart, not (only) with your body.
Lack of healthy communication (or no communication at all).
Communication is the core of every healthy relationship. Toxic communication patterns, such as nagging, yelling, being disrespectful, or unwilling to compromise can destroy even the (seemingly) strongest relationships.
Hence, these terms: nagging wife, crazy wife, disrespectful wife. Again, the same thing can be applied to men as well, but these female terms have somehow become deeply rooted in our society.
When we think of two partners arguing, we usually imagine a nagging wife saying something like the following to her husband: How many times do I have to tell you not to leave your dirty socks under the bed?
Then, the husband, feeling attacked, says something insulting to her or tells her: Woman, you’re overreacting! I’d leave you to imagine the rest of the conversation for yourself, but since I cannot resist the temptation, here it is:
SHE: You’re telling ME that I’M overreacting??
HE: YES! And, do you know what? I can’t stand being in this house anymore. And YES, I’m going to my friend, Mark, to drink beer and watch the football game! He certainly won’t mind being in close proximity to my dirty socks.
Okay, I’ll stop right here. You see, this is a true example of a toxic conversation pattern that partners need to avoid.
Financial problems.
Financial problems can be a real burden in every marriage (especially if you have kids). If only one partner is working at the time, you might find it difficult to manage the expenses.
Or, even if both of you are working, you can still be dealing with financial problems.
Because of that, you will no longer be able to focus on your marriage, only on the financial aspect of it. There will be lots of arguments, nagging, frustration, and so on.
Sound familiar? If that is the reason why you two separated, think about how you can improve it in the future. Talk to your partner about it and work on finding adequate solutions.
Mid-life crisis.
If one partner or both are going through a mid-life crisis (which typically occurs in 45 to 65-year-old individuals), this can significantly reflect on your marriage.
Such a crisis involves dramatic lifestyle changes, personality changes, mood swings, and other behavioral changes.
At this life stage, many partners start asking themselves: What am I doing with my life? They suddenly can’t understand why they got married in the first place, why they have kids, or why they still have that boring job.
Impulsive decisions become a part of their everyday life, such as the decision to separate from their partner. If that’s what happened to you or your partner, you need to talk to them about it and ask for professional help (if needed).
There are many helpful ways on how to cope with a mid-life crisis, and the most important one is that the person is willing to work on themselves.
Take Action To Get Her Back: 10 Essential Steps
Give her some space.
When trying to get their partner back, many partners make this one BIG mistake by not giving them enough space.
Understand that reconciling is not about forcing the other person or giving them ultimatums. This will only make things worse (Trust me on that one).
Both women and men need space in a relationship, especially when they are separated. There’s no point in calling her twenty times a day, or texting 24/7.
You need to live your own life and allow her to take a break from your marriage and reflect on it. There are so many ways to give someone space, yet keep them by your side, and my favorite one is: Just do your own thing!
When you occupy yourself with fun activities and other things, you will not come to the temptation to force reconciliation or similar.
By giving her some space, she will see that you respect her need for that and she will appreciate it.
Don’t fall into your old ways of fighting or arguing.
Please don’t fall into your old ways of fighting or arguing. If you used to argue about that one thing, try not to repeat it again. I know that it’s easier said than done, but you have to be aware of all this.
If you know that she’s overly sensitive about some topic, don’t attack her or judge her for it. Be wise this time. Show her that you’re willing to work things out and not make them worse than they were.
The bottom line is that showing her that you’re ready to work on yourself will let her know that you’re serious about getting her back. As always, making an effort is HOT.
Think twice before saying something to her. Ask yourself whether she might get offended by it. You don’t want to trigger her, but keep things light and be reasonable.
Listen to her carefully.
Now, seriously, when was the last time you listened to her carefully?
If you can’t remember, then now is the time to change that. Most of the time, partners are only focused on what they are saying to the other person.
They’re more worried about being right about something than about potentially hurting the other person’s feelings. Remember that marriage is not about who is wrong or right.
No one is wrong or right. It is about compromising and being willing to listen to each other. Allow her to explain herself and tell you how she feels about everything.
Don’t try to convince her that only your opinion is right, but respect her own as well. Women don’t require much.
They just want to be listened to, and this is often the hardest thing to achieve by men. Now that you know what you ought to do, then don’t make the same mistake again.
Apologize.
Someone once said to me: A real man will apologize because he values you more than his pride. And, I couldn’t agree more with that.
Partners often forget that apologizing doesn’t mean letting the other person know that they won. No one WON.
Marriage is not a game. No matter how careful you are about every single aspect of your relationship, there are still some things you can’t influence. Sometimes, you’ll unwittingly make mistakes without even being aware of it.
When that happens, it’s important to apologize. If the reason why you two separated is that you hurt her, make sure to let her know that this will not happen again. Let her know that you’re willing to change and that she can trust you.
Try to bring changes within you.
How to be a better wife or husband? How to make my husband/wife love me again?
These are the questions that every partner needs to ask themselves after a separation. The only way to save your marriage is by looking for ways to improve yourself and your relationship in general.
Try to bring changes within you. Think of all the things that you could work on in the following period.
Did you have difficulties listening to her while you were still living together? Or, did you have difficulties making an effort, showing compassion, surprising her, and doing all those little things that melt her heart?
Or, did you have difficulties staying faithful to her? Whatever it was, the first step is to acknowledge it.
I suggest making a list on a piece of paper where you’ll write down all the things that you want to improve about yourself.
You can also show her the list if you want to, so that she sees that you’re really determined to save your marriage and give it a second chance. The more you work on yourself, the happier your marriage will be.
Of course, the same thing is expected by the other person as well.
If someone gave me a dime every time I read or heard about a guy having issues sharing his feelings, I would be richer than Oprah by now. A man who knows how to express himself has become the definition of a unicorn man.
Don’t worry, I don’t blame you (for trying to do so). Mostly, I blame society for it because they have taught you your whole life that sharing feelings is not a masculine thing to do. But, now it’s high time we change that!
I mean, how is your woman supposed to know that you WANT her back if you’re not able to tell her that?
Let me rephrase that: How is SHE supposed to know that you want her back if you don’t know how (or you’re not willing) to express your feelings for her?
Tell her that you’re still in love with her (of course, if you truly are). Tell her how beautiful, unique, and amazing she is. Tell her that you miss her and you can’t stand living without her.
Okay, don’t overdo it because she might start seeing you as desperate and we want to avoid that. Just find the courage to tell her how you really feel about her and you’ll get her back!
Suggest marriage counseling.
Many married couples, for some reason, avoid marriage counseling not knowing that they are making a huge mistake.
If you’re having underlying issues in your marriage, a marriage counselor will help you reconnect, and will teach you methods on how to make the best of your relationship.
One of the questions to ask your spouse before going to marriage counseling is this: What are the things that bother you about me?
You don’t want to go to marriage counseling to continue fighting with your spouse (or, should I say, ex). Having insight about your marriage and the things that bother you will help you understand things better and prepare for counseling.
A marriage counselor might suggest a trial separation so that both of you have enough space to work on yourselves and reflect on your marriage.
Be patient and consistent.
As always, patience and consistency are two main factors when it comes to winning someone back. You can be a master at making an effort, but if you lack patience and determination, you will not get as far as you might want to.
Even if she doesn’t reply to your text message the same second (or the same day), don’t lose hope! Perhaps she’s busy, and she has other things to deal with at the moment, and when she’s done with all that, she’ll get in touch with you.
Don’t overthink and don’t assume things either. Do everything you can and then patiently wait for her response. Trust me, when she sees how hard you’re trying to get her back, she will know how much you care and that’s all that matters.
Pursue her (again).
The best way to get her back is by pretending that you’ve never been married to her or that you’re just about to meet her for the first time in your life. This will help you pursue her (again).
Don’t shy away from Googling things like romantic things to do for your wife, or love quotes for your wife. Think about your first date and all those heartwarming things you did to win her heart.
Do all those things again! Pursue her like you never even had her!
Don’t assume that she’ll fall head over heels for you just because you wrote a beautiful love quote on a piece of paper and gave it to her. Understand that this will be a process.
Winning her again will sometimes feel like a mission impossible (especially if she’s being a little bit stubborn like myself), but understand that the only reason why she’s behaving like that is that she wants to see how much you truly care.
Don’t give up.
Don’t give up at the first obstacle. Remember that true love is worth fighting for! If you believe that you two can be happy again, then convince her so that she believes it, too.
Fight for her trust, love, and devotion. Make her feel like she’s the only woman in the world. Give her compliments, make her laugh, remind her of all those beautiful, happy moments you had in the past.
Be the man she once fell in love with. Show to her that you’re still that same man, but all you need is a little bit of work on yourself.
When you do all that, you’ll succeed in winning her heart (again).
AVOID Doing These 4 Things:
Overthinking or reading between the lines.
But, what if she misinterprets my message? A one-word reply probably means that she’s not interested at ALL and I should stop pursuing her.
Don’t let the above and similar thoughts make you overthink or imagine things. Be realistic, don’t think too much, and focus only on those things you have control over.
For example, you cannot control what she will think of you, but you can control what you’ll share with her. Once you say something or send a text, it’s done.
Don’t overthink it, but wait for her response patiently and just hope for the best (just as I’m doing when dyeing my hair at home).
Assuming that the ball is in her court.
You might think She was the one who wanted us to separate in the first place. Now it’s up to her to get me back.
You might also wait for her to give you clues that she’s 100% interested in getting back together because you’re afraid of making a move and getting rejected.
You might assume that the ball is in her court, but the best bet is to just gather the courage and do what you feel is right instead of waiting for her to do everything to get you back.
If you really care about her, then fighting for her will feel natural to you. You will not think about too many What if’s or similar, but you will focus on getting her back.
Assuming that you’re easily replaceable
Be honest with yourself. Admit to yourself that you’re not perfect and that you don’t need to be. Being perfect doesn’t mean being irreplaceable. What makes you unique are your flaws and little imperfections.
Don’t assume that you’re easily replaceable because you’re NOT. Also, low self-esteem and belittling yourself is not HOT.
Keep in mind that there’s a reason why she fell in love with you in the first place, and now you have to become that same man, or should I say, an improved version of your current self.
Not being willing to make improvements to your approach to the relationship.
Improve your ability to attract her, and you will! Give your best to help her trust you again, and she will! You need to be willing to make serious improvements to your approach to the relationship if you want to get her back.
No woman will want to be with a man who is insecure and full of self-doubts. Impress her with your confidence, emotional strength, and courage.
Be BOLD!
Flirt with her, but also be a bit of a challenge. Be funny, but also ready to have a serious conversation with her. Don’t just keep asking yourself: Does my wife miss me during separation?
If you truly care about her, then now is the time to show her that! “Actions speak louder than words.”
What you feel for her means nothing if you don’t know how to show it to her. And, that’s how you’ll win her (back)!