I hate to be the one to say this but the truth is that I am quite different from other girls. And when I say this, I am not trying to say that I am perfect and that I have no flaws.
No, I want to tell you something completely the opposite.
I am talking about the fact that I am stubborn and how I want things to go my way. How I refuse to accept when I am wrong and how I always stand up for my beliefs even when I have to fight against the entire world.
I am talking about the fact that sometimes I am an introvert and a loner, that I have a small circle of friends and that I don’t let other people in easily. I am saying how there are days when I don’t want to leave the house and in which everyone’s presence bothers me without any apparent reason.
I am talking about the fact that I am insecure and jealous and that I am always questioning people’s feelings for me and their intentions toward me.
You know, I never believed someone could really love me and this is especially the case with men. Somehow, I always doubt this love even when it’s proved to me.
I am talking about the fact that I get mad easily and about the fact that I will probably create a scenario in my head before giving you a chance to explain.
This also happens because of my insecurities—because I find it easier to get myself prepared for the worst possible case scenario. Because I think that this is the best way to protect myself from getting disappointed.
I am talking about the fact of how I have deep trust and abandonment issues, which prevent me from giving myself completely to others. How I shut people down before giving them a chance to show their true colors.
I am talking about the fact that I am scared. That I am trembling because I am about to let someone new in my life and because my feelings for you are starting to take control over my reason.
Because I am scared that you’ll walk away from me the second you see all of these flaws I am talking about now. I know you know about them theoretically but it is something completely different when you sense my imperfections and when you have to live with them.
And you leaving me is the last thing I want to go through.
Because it is true—I am challenging and tiring. And yes, I am difficult and almost impossible to handle.
And I wouldn’t be surprised if I chased you away with all of this.
But trust me—I have a lot to offer besides this.
If you just give me a chance, I promise you I will show you a different side of mine.
I will show you the girl who will love you without any conditions or expectations.
A girl who will always put you first and who will take care of your needs more than her own.
A girl who will be your lover and your best friend, all packed into one.
A girl who will be your biggest support and your number one fan. A loyal girl who will never leave your side and who will never turn her back on you. A girl who will believe in you and who will push you forward, whenever you think about quitting.
A girl who will be happy when you are happy and who will do everything in her power to make you smile, whenever you are sad.
A girl who will be with you through good and bad times and through thin and thick.
And most importantly, I will show you a girl who is ready to change. A girl who is ready to fight and a girl who won’t allow her issues to affect the relationship she has with you.
So trust me, I am worthy of your love and of you giving me a chance. I am worthy of someone seeing past my flaws and I am worthy of someone trying to get to know the real me.
I know this is probably the last thing you are thinking right now, but trust me—you’ll see for yourself.
I am an English Language and Literature teacher. I am a writer. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend… But most of all, I am a woman, just like you.
A woman who has experienced the same things you’ve been going through. A woman who’s been fighting battles similar to yours. A woman who wants you to learn from her mistakes and who wants to help you empower yourself.