It’s important to understand what should be expected of you and what you should expect of your partner in order for a relationship to grow and sustain for a long period of time. If you decide to enter into a bond completely unaware of what your role in the relationship is or what to expect from the person you are committing yourself to, you’ll only be opening yourself up to future struggles and disappointment.
Of course, partnerships cannot be preplanned. There is no guidebook that outlines what you should say or do, or what you should expect from your loved one. Chances are, though, that you have both entered into this union with similar goals, wanting the same basic things. You both want to be happy and make the other person happy, right?
So, how can this be achieved?
Just because you are head over heels for another person and caught up in a whirlwind of romance doesn’t mean you should lose yourself in the process. Keep your own individual goals in mind and respect your partner’s. The strongest relationships – those that tend to last a lifetime – are ones in which you can maintain healthy boundaries and respect for one another. There needs to be a balance between spending time together and staying connected to yourself and your individual goals.
The relationship needs to be based on trust as well. You’ll want to be able to trust your partner despite inevitable conflicts with commitments, schedules, values, or anything else that can hinder trust if you let it. You’ll need to remain open and honest, and your partner will need to do the same.
Communication is key. Many relationship problems arise from poor communication.
Being willing to communicate means being able to share your expectations openly with your partner and allowing them to voice their needs. You should feel unafraid of being truthful about what you want from the relationship and be open-minded to your partner’s desires even if they differ from your own.
Try to fulfill each other’s expectations. Making a genuine effort to do so will be appreciated and make your bond grow stronger. But, don’t fulfill the needs of another person at the expense of staying true to yourself. This is a recipe for failure.
When we become someone we’re not, simply for the fact that we’re trying to be everything we think our partner needs us to be, a part of us dies inside. And, eventually, this dissatisfaction will be all-consuming. We have to conserve some of our energy for our own interests in order to be truly happy.
If you feel your partner is trying too hard to please you and these actions aren’t genuine, or vice versa, something’s not working. There is a big difference between accommodating a partner’s needs while maintaining healthy boundaries and becoming someone else entirely in the process, at one’s own expense. Lasting contentment cannot be built on a shaky foundation. Eventually, everything will come tumbling down.
It’s very easy to become insecure in a relationship with someone you truly love. Inside, you feel you would do anything for this person – you’d give anything to be with them. So, it may seem too good to be true when you find someone who feels the same. However, you cannot allow jealousy to overtake your good intentions.
It’s healthy to be jealous from time to time, to some extent. If you never feel this way, it may be a sign that you don’t care as deeply for the person as you may want to. Regardless of how confident you are in yourself and the bond you have, it’s natural to feel envious of something that comes between you two.
However, there is a way to go about handling these feelings. Rather than lashing out at the other person and making hasty accusations or saying something you’ll know you’ll end up regretting, if something is making you feel insecure, talk to your partner about this. Don’t beat around the bush, don’t go about it in a passive-aggressive manner. Just openly communicate how you are feeling. As long as they don’t feel they’re under attack, the way your partner responds will usually tell you everything you need to know.
The bottom line is – if you and your partner have similar viewpoints on life and similar goals and expectations, you’ll make it. Put in the time and effort to make your relationship last and you’re bound to have a beautiful future together.