We all dream of a perfect relationship.
The kind of relationship where we won’t hide any part of ourself for the fear of rejection.
A relationship where the other person will be everything we admire.
We dream of someone who will fill out the parts that are missing from us and put our life at ease.
In short, we look for someone to make us a whole and take away all the bad things we fight with.
Now, that’s a lot of pressure for a single person who’s no different from us in terms of innermost desires and shortcomings.
None of us is whole and perfect. We’re weirdly shaped and ragged but that’s what makes us interesting to look at.
We’re accidental works of art of some sort.
Relationships will never be perfect because they consist of two unperfect humans who are trying their best to make sense of everything that’s happening to them.
Even when one of you is wrong, you’re still doing your best in that given moment.
It’s okay to make mistakes and it’s okay not to understand everything immediately.
However, it’s not okay to repeat mistakes and fail to put effort into where effort is needed.
The effort is what the relationship needs to work out.
It’s a constant commitment to the one and only goal and that goal is to help each other on your life path and make each other happy.
To enter a serious relationship means to agree to be there for your person in every situation life throws at you.
That means a lot of uncertainty, a lot of doubt, lots of things we don’t really want to do. A lot of nonsense arguments, small frustrations, annoyance and hurt.
Nevertheless, love should be stronger than all of those and when it’s the real kind, it is. But what is the real kind of love?
It’s the love that never stops evolving and perfecting itself. It’s the love that doesn’t give up. It’s the love that understands before things are obvious.
How can we perfect our love to be that way?
There’s no doubt that nothing in this world feels better than to be understood and loved for who you are but before we require that kind of love from another, we must find it within ourself.
By perfecting our own imperfections and healing our own pain, we learn to love without judgment.
It’s hardest to embrace our own imperfections; that’s why it’s important to learn to love our humanness.
It’s important to not get lost in a fantasy but love the ugly things too.
After all, everything we don’t love about ourself became the way it is because of a lack of love, care, and beauty; that’s how things become imperfect.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of projecting our own longings and wishes on another person who’s oblivious to our needs.
That’s another important issue when it comes to relationships: State your needs if you want them to be met. Talk about them. Find their core.
Don’t expect your partner to read your mind or intuitively know what you know.
Open up, communicate and have trust in the one who loves you.
Our humanness is filled with unexplainable fears and insecurities, with jealousy and greediness, with pointless anger and occasional sadness as well as joy and love.
It’s not enough to love the flowers and stay away from the dirt. They are part of the same story, the same process.
The key is to love the process and magic of what it creates in the end. That’s love.
Love is trusting and seeing beyond what’s obvious.
The perfect relationship doesn’t exist but perfect love does and you’re capable of it.