Remember how you felt like you were never enough in your previous relationship?
How you felt that nothing you did was right and how you could never find a way to please your ex and make him happy?
How no matter how deeply you cared for him and how hard you tried to win over his heart, he couldn’t love you the way you deserved?
Remember how he never accepted the real you? How he tried his best to change the essence of your personality?
How he kept on pointing out your flaws, nagging you about the things you should do differently?
How he tried to convince you that he always knew better and what was right for you?
Remember how your ex spent your entire relationship trying to turn you into something you’re not?
How he did his best to mold you the way he wanted and tried to fit you in some kind of a box?
Remember how this guy never liked the way you looked, dressed, talked, or behaved? How he always managed to find something to complain about?
Remember how he didn’t like your friends, your taste in music, career choice? How he wasn’t content with anything you did?
Do you remember how this man kept on accusing you of being too loud, too emotional, too weak, too independent, too disobedient…?
You know how he ended up making you feel like you’re not meant to be loved?
How he convinced you that it was you all along and that your relationship didn’t work out because of your character faults?
You know how he made you think that every guy you meet after him will be the same?
How he convinced you that you are incapable of making a man happy and that you don’t have the qualities of a good girlfriend?
Of course, you didn’t believe him at first. After all, before he came into your life, you were a girl who knew her value and who had loads of self-confidence.
However, for years, he did his best to change that and to change you.
He tried hard to spiritually kill you, to make you bend over, to shut you off, and to destroy your spirit.
And the worst thing is that he almost succeeded.
Even though you might not want to admit this, this guy did manage to make you question yourself.
He did cause your self-doubts and he did awaken your insecurities.
What you don’t know is that he was doing all of it because deep down, he knew he was the one who wasn’t enough.
He was aware that you’re better, stronger, and more capable of him and the only way for him to stop feeling beneath you was to drag you down to his level.
He was the one who had self-confidence problems so he wanted to destroy yours. He was intimidated by your worth to the point where he had to devalue you.
This guy couldn’t accept the fact that you weren’t too much–he was just too weak to handle you.
You weren’t too loud-you just had an opinion of your own and he couldn’t stand having a girlfriend with her own personal viewpoint.
You weren’t too emotional–he was just a bastard who never treated you right and you had a completely natural reaction to his toxic behavior.
You weren’t asking for the impossible–he was the one who wasn’t giving you enough.
You weren’t a “little miss know it all”, as he liked to call you-you were just more intelligent, ambitious, and educated than him.
All of this time, this guy was threatened by you. He felt endangered by your greatness and the fact that he couldn’t feel man enough next to you.
Nevertheless, that is his problem-not yours. And it is more than clear that he was wrong for you.
When the right man comes along, he will love all the parts of you your ex wanted so desperately to change.
This man will be more than happy to have such a woman by his side. He will never try to shut you down, nor will he be scared of your strong personality.
Instead of putting you down, this guy will push you forward with all of his strength. Instead of holding you back, he will be there to support all of your goals and dreams.
Instead of feeling threatened by your inner power, he will be proud of it.
He will fall in love with your gentle heart and fierce personality. He will love all of you with his entire being, just the way you are.
This guy won’t change any of you, even if he has the chance to. In fact, he will even love your imperfections as much as he loves your qualities.
So please, stop settling for men who want to change you because they don’t have what it takes to handle you.
Stop being with guys who don’t have the capacity to keep up with you and who have to diminish your worth to confirm theirs.
Don’t be with guys who want to be above or below you,with those who act overly dominant, nor with the ones who want a mother instead of a girlfriend.
Don’t be with someone who expects you to be submissive just because he is male, nor with an immature boy who needs your guidance through life.
Instead, be patient enough to wait for a man who can be your equal partner and don’t accept anything less.
Even though you might think that this kind of man doesn’t exist-trust me when I tell you: he will come along.
Finally, remember: you’re not wrong for being you. Your only sin is choosing men who are too weak to go shoulder to shoulder through life with you.
