Some people say that office romances are the worst and that they would never engage in something like that. However, I can’t agree with this because, from my own experience, work relationships are often the most passionate.
Although, it can be tricky, and I completely understand your worries. The hardest part, and the one we struggle with the most, is how to ask a coworker out. We struggle to find the right opportunity and what the right date proposal might be.
Fortunately, you can see this article as the end of your struggles because today, I’ll teach you the right way to ask your coworker out on a date. You can thank me later, of course. 😉
How To Ask A Coworker Out: 14 Brilliant Tips
Dating a coworker can be difficult, but it’s definitely harder to gather the courage to ask them out. To help you out with that, I’ve left you the most helpful tips below that will help you do it the right way and lead you straight to a romantic date.
1. Make sure your intentions are pure
Besides the question of how to ask a coworker out, you should consider another one: Why do you want to invite them out? Is it because you like them in a romantic way, or do you have other intentions?
If it’s the first scenario, then you have the green light to continue with your date proposal. We don’t choose when and with whom we’ll fall in love, and if that person happens to be your coworker, sharing your work environment shouldn’t be an obstacle for you to invite them out.
On the other hand, if there’s any hidden agenda behind your date invitation, you shouldn’t go on with it.
Especially if it’s a new job because if they found out your true intentions, it may completely ruin your professional relationship with that coworker and create a hostile work environment.
2. Think about the power dynamic between you
In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with asking your coworker out. However, I don’t think it’s a good idea to invite your boss out.
Couple with anmbalanced power dynamic never stand a good chance of maintaining a successful romantic relationship. Sooner or later, they allow it to interfere with their relationship, and that’s when they understand they really aren’t compatible.
Related: 18 Hidden Signs Your Boss Wants To Sleep With You
3. Try to find out what their relationship status is first
You should ask around about your coworker’s relationship status before you actually invite them on a date. If they’re already dating someone else, then you can’t expect them to accept your invitation.
I’m not saying you should ignore your feelings or give up on them if you find out they’re in a relationship, but you shouldn’t mess with someone else’s relationship. Also, there is a great chance that it won’t end well and that it’ll create a hostile work environment between you two.
4. Try to build a friendship with them first
If you have known them for a short time, you shouldn’t immediately ask them out. You should try to become good friends with them first, get to know them, and connect with them on a more personal level.
It’ll allow you to find out what their perspective, thinking, and interests are, which will make it easier for you to win them over.
5. Wait for the right opportunity and the right time
Do you think that inviting your coworker out while having casual water cooler small talk is a good idea? You obviously aren’t aware of how wrong you actually are.
You need to wait for the right opportunity to ask them on a date, or your proposal is already doomed.
If you notice they’re nervous about something that happened or they’re too busy that day, then you should forget about your date proposal and hope that they’ll be in a better mood tomorrow.
6. It’s important to be and stay yourself
You should never change yourself to get another person to like you, even if it’s a coworker you’re trying to win over so desperately.
After all, you work with that person and spend a great amount of time with them. You’re so very wrong if you think that your real face won’t come to the surface sooner or later.
7. Respect your workplace culture
Most workplace cultures don’t have any hard and fast rules when it comes to workplace romances. However, they do when it comes to their employees’ behavior at work.
That means coworkers shouldn’t allow their personal relationships to affect their professional relationships. Also, another rule is that coworkers who are in a romantic relationship need to leave the PDA between their own four walls.
I know that when you fall in love, all you want is to be with that person 24/7. However, you need to respect your workplace culture above anything else. Once you finish your work and leave your workplace, you’re allowed to do whatever you want.
I know these kinds of things mostly get solved over social media nowadays, but believe me, it’s always better to do it in person than online.
Most relationship experts actually agree that inviting someone on a date in person is the key to getting an affirmative answer. If you do it online, the other person may think you aren’t brave enough to do it in person or that you aren’t even sure you really want to go out with them.
9. Flirtation is a MUST
If you want to make it clear that you’re inviting them out on a romantic date, then you should flirt with them a bit. Otherwise, they may think you’re asking them out on a casual coworker hangout and won’t get your true intention.
Compliment them and surprise them with a nice gesture every now and then. That way, they’ll figure out that you like them even before you actually invite them on a date.
10. Offer them help with something over a dinner
You don’t have to make it a romantic date invitation – you can invite them on a casual hangout. That way, they’ll accept even if they don’t like you romantically, and you’ll get the opportunity to change their mind and win them over.
Just offer them help with a project or something and make sure they really need it, so they can’t refuse your invitation.
11. Just ask already, and don’t make a big deal out of it
I know you’re scared because of all the possible outcomes, but you really shouldn’t make a big deal out of it. The worst thing that can happen is getting rejected.
And even if that happens, so what? You simply pick yourself up and continue moving forward. After all, if they don’t agree to go on a date with you, it’s their loss, not yours.
Just think about it this way: if you don’t ask, you’ll never get a date with them, and the case will definitely be closed. On the other hand, if you do ask them, you may get rejected, true that, but they may also accept your invitation, and it may be the beginning of something new and wonderful.
12. Don’t rush them with their answer
To be honest, we’re all afraid of office relationships a bit, especially those who aren’t familiar with it or those who’ve already had a bad experience with workplace dating. That’s why you need to be patient if your coworker asks you to give them some time to think about your proposal.
Let them have their time, especially if it’s a female coworker, because it’s a general fact that women are indecisive and like to keep their men waiting.
13. Plan the perfect first date!
When you finally get a YES from your coworker, your next step is to plan the most romantic date ever that will sweep them off their feet immediately and make them want a second date.
If your coworker has some good friends at work, you should talk to them to find out what your date likes and what their interests are. That way, you’ll have a better chance of organizing the best date of their life.
14. No matter what happens, don’t let it affect your professional relationship
Workplace romances may sometimes harm the workplace atmosphere because the couple may finish their relationship on bad terms. If one partner cheats on the other or something similar happens, a lot of grudges and negative emotions will be involved between them.
That’s why you need to be aware of it, and no matter what happens, pay attention to maintaining a healthy professional relationship. If you can, keep your professional and private life separate, even if you and your coworker decide to engage in a romantic relationship.
How To Ask A Coworker Out: 45 Best Examples
Now that we’ve gone through the theoretical part, let’s dive into the practical one. I’ve gathered the best examples of how to ask a coworker out I could find online and compiled them into the list below. One thing is for sure, these examples will get you a date. 🤞
1. You seem great; I’d love to meet up sometime. Are you around next week?
2. I hope you rest well tonight. Would you like to meet for coffee or breakfast in the morning?
3. Ever heard of a backward dinner? We kick start with ICE CREAM and wind up doing CANAPES at midnight. The plan is best executed on Friday night – does that work ok for you?
4. What are you doing on Friday? Do you wanna grab a drink after work?
5. Movies, you, and I make the perfect plan.
6. I’ve been gathering the courage for some time to ask you on a date, so I’d be grateful if you could be so kind as to put me out of my misery.
7. I’ve been trying to figure out how I should ask you out. So, I decided to take you out for a date tonight. Meet me at (place) (time).
8. Finding a time we can both meet = nightmare. Latte on Monday, deal or no deal?
9. I’m going to see this band on the 1st when it comes to town. Tickets are cheap. Do you wanna come?
10. How’s your day going? Would you like to have dinner?
11. Can’t think of a good reason to go out for a celebratory drink . . . but I’m sure it’s someone’s birthday somewhere right now, so we should toast to that.
12. If you want to chill at my place after work sometime, let me know.
13. I’ve wanted to try this new restaurant, and they have your favorite food. What time are you free?
14. I’d love to grab your number. Maybe we can get a drink or a cup of coffee sometime.
15. I have been having such a good time with you. Can I ask you out on a date?
16. We should get together outside of work sometime. What do you think?
17. That just makes me think of ASIAN FOOD . . . Looks like we’ll have to get that this weekend to satisfy my craving.
18. I think this is something that should be discussed over dinner.
19. How about going out tonight, just the two of us, and having a sumptuous dinner?
20. What days are you usually free? Do you wanna hang out sometime and do something fun?
21. Good morning! Are you free for lunch?
22. You’re ridiculously busy. I’m ridiculously busy. Let’s multi-task and do a work date. Just promise not to distract me.
23. What are you doing right now? Feel like grabbing a coffee?
24. I think Friday is a legit excuse to enjoy one too many beers/cocktails. Wouldn’t you agree?
25. I’m so proud of you and can’t wait to see you. Let’s go out and celebrate!
26. My phone’s been acting weird all day. I gotta go to the mall to see if they can fix it. Wanna keep me company?
27. Hands tired . . . fingers aching . . . all this texting is giving me RSI. Let’s carry this conversation on in person – is after work good for you?
28. I enjoy talking and texting with you and would like to take you out.
29. My friends and I are going out on Saturday. We’d be happy to have you along.
30. Koen dé-Gwener? Asked you out in Cornish . . . Points for originality?
31. I have an extra ticket to that movie you wanted to see. What time should I pick you up?
32. My buddies and I get together every Thursday evening to play poker. You should come one week.
33. Welcome to the tradition of Thirsty Thursdays. I think you can handle a STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE SHOT on a work night . . . so are you game to join us later?
34. I have this event coming up and would like you to accompany me.
35. What are your thoughts on pizza? A new place just opened up, and I’ve been looking for someone to check it out with me.
36. I go jogging with some friends every Saturday morning. You’re welcome to come whenever you’d like.
37. Let’s link up this weekend. Picnic for good weather, indoors if not.
38. Hey, I’m thinking about you, dinner, drinks, dessert, and a date. Looking forward to spending some quality time with you and making it a night to remember!
39. I go to a book club every other week. If you want to come to check it out, we’re open to new people attending.
40. My family is getting together this weekend. I’d love it if you’d join me.
41. The weather is supposed to be great this weekend. If you’re looking for someone to take advantage of it with, hit me up.
42. Will you be my date tonight? Place: It’s a surprise (I will pick you up at your front door. Don’t be late). If you’re in, text YES.
43. Is it bad to admit I’m bored at my desk? How about we rename today Madness Monday and make it like it’s Friday night?
44. My friends think we’d make a cute couple. Let’s prove them right. Will you please go on a date with me tonight? Waiting to meet you at (place/time).
45. This is a reminder to clear all your work for the day and go out on a date with me.
See also: How To Ask A Guy Out On A Date? 12 Tips For Success
How Do You Know If A Coworker Likes You?
Most coworkers try to hide their feelings towards another of their coworkers because they’re afraid of being rejected and the possible outcome it may have for their professional relationship.
However, as much as they try to hide it, some other things will reveal them eventually. You just need to follow those hints.
For example, if your coworker has nervous body language around you, engages in small talk with you frequently and starts asking you personal questions, offers you help whenever you need it, gives you preferential treatment, and subtly flirts with you, you can be sure they like you.
The good thing is that even if you don’t figure it out, be sure that some of your other coworkers will, and they’ll share their doubts with you.
Is It OK To Flirt With Coworkers?
It’s definitely not okay to go off randomly and flirt with all of your coworkers. However, if you like a particular coworker and start catching feelings for them, it’s okay to flirt with them.
Although, you need to be careful and keep your professional relationship a priority at all times. If you notice that your flirtation bothers them, you should know when to stop.
If you overdo it, you might get a sexual harassment complaint, which may even end in you getting fired. That’s why you need to be very careful and call it quits on your flirtation if your coworker clearly shows that they aren’t into you romantically.
How Do You Hint To A Coworker That You Like Her?
Of course, you can’t be upfront with them and immediately admit your feelings for them because it’ll be a huge turn-off. It may not only drive them away, but it could also affect your professional relationship and create a hostile work environment.
You need to go easy and leave subtle hints for them that will show them how you feel about them.
Try to look your best whenever they’re around. A little innocent flirting never killed anybody. Make them laugh. Engage in small talk frequently, which will allow you to get to know them a bit better.
Offer them a genuine compliment from time to time but don’t make it work-related. Make your body language cooperate with you and let it do the talking.
To Conclude
Now you have it all, both the theoretical and practical parts on how to ask a coworker out. I wish you luck, but trust me, you don’t need it if you follow my tips carefully.
Whether it’s a female or male coworker, these tips and examples are absolutely everything you need to land a date with them.
Workplace dating can be challenging, but every challenge is worth it if you two are compatible and happy to be together. However, you need to keep in mind that your breakup might create an awkward situation between you and a hostile work environment that would be unhealthy for both of you.
So, if you can’t get along together and decide to end your relationship, try to stay on good terms.
I really hope from the bottom of my heart that your relationship status is going to change after this article and that your coworker will turn out to be your soulmate. 💕
