I know this won’t make you feel a whole lot better right now, but the reasons why your ex boyfriend is ignoring you could very well be the things that you’re doing completely inadvertently!
Let me elaborate. First, it’s important to note that sometimes it’s honestly not you.
Guys have this peculiar brain that only the male species can truly comprehend at times and therefore, you shouldn’t be taking it personally at all.
God only knows the strange things that occur in their head and why they choose to behave in such a wicked manner at times.
But we’re not here to delve into that, because that’s a topic only a true professional can psycho-analyze (if you catch my drift).
What I’m here to do is discuss things that you can actually control and change.
Things that affect the possible reasons why your ex might be ignoring you, how you can get him to talk to you face to face and, ultimately, get your boyfriend back!
Getting an ex back is not that challenging of a mission if you play your cards right.
Through the use of text messages, social media, and smart use of the no contact rule, you can completely turn the tables and avoid the wicked mind games on your way to getting him to stop ignoring you.
Once you’ve thoroughly read this article, you’ll have a very different outlook on his behavior and what exactly brought you two here.
Perhaps, you’ll finally stop being ”the ex girlfriend” and climb your way back to his mind and heart.
Sometimes, in order to get a clear perspective on things, guys simply need some time and space to figure out the real reasons behind this possibly big mistake they’re making.
Sure, you have contributed to this breakup as well, but as individuals, you both could use this time wisely as a way to do some soul-searching and realize what you both truly want.
Most Common Mistakes After The Breakup
This is the crucial part. After the breakup, it’s important NOT to do any of the following activities that I’m about to list here.
All of these will make you seem desperate, needy, and clingy, and I know that’s the last thing you want to have happen.
Guys can sense these things from miles and miles away.
They know when you’ve reached your breaking point and will do pretty much anything to get their attention.
And they’re not fans of it! Never let your ex-partner see the effect this breakup has had on you.
The first time you hear from him post-breakup could be the deciding factor, so keep it classy (but sassy) and save the desperate phone calls for later, when your head is in a better space.
These are the most common reasons guys don’t want to give you a second chance after taking a break because they paint a disturbingly wrong picture of you.
Watch out for these:
1. Overdoing it with the texting
The relationship is over (for now). He doesn’t want to be with you right now, and you need to respect it and learn to accept it as your new reality.
Don’t overdo it with the texting! Don’t keep bothering him and proving to him that he was right to break up with you.
Show him you’re mature enough to accept this and once you’ve gathered your thoughts, you can work out a plan on how to get him back.
But texting him way too much, way too soon is going to get you the opposite effect.
Why would you want to be texting an ex bf in the first place? Respect what your ex wants and give your heart a break.
Going no contact after the breakup is the best way to heal and eventually be ready to face him again.
2. Declaring your love excessively
Honey, I know it sucks and I understand how much it hurts, and I am telling you this from the most genuine place in my heart.
Shouting your love from the rooftops once your relationship is over is the most counter-productive way to get your ex back.
If your ex says he needs enough time, please don’t make it harder on both of you.
Even if he still has feelings for you, this is only going to make the decision that much harder for him.
He may be a brand new person in your life and if you keep smothering him with your love, it could very well be the last time.
This is real life; it’s not a movie. He isn’t magically going to change his mind if you keep being persistent.
Ask yourself this: What do I do if I really want him to love me?
Do I keep pushing him over the edge with my persistence, or do I give him enough time and pray that he chooses me in the end?
And I believe you’ll know what to do.
3. Badmouthing him to your friends
Generally, putting people on blast is my least favorite quality. I believe that karma will sort that shit out (eventually).
The simplest thing for you to do is to keep your bad thoughts to yourself.
Why? Because during your moments of anger and bitterness, you’re extremely likely to share things that you know you shouldn’t and probably over-exaggerate. One day, you will come to regret this, but then it will be too late.
So the best thing is to not badmouth him to anyone because it will only be a matter of time before he hears about it.
And once that happens, you can kiss your reconciliation goodbye. People make mistakes, and that includes both you and your ex.
Keep your personal problems private and work it all out between yourselves.
See also: Why Is My Friend Ignoring Me? 20 Reasons And Solutions
6 Ways To Get Your Ex To Stop Ignoring You
Now that we’ve covered the basic mistakes girls tend to to after the breakup, you’re ready to actually start doing something about it.
When your ex ignores you, the smartest thing to do is to lay low for a while, until you’ve figured out what you want and the best way to get it. The point of this is for him to see you as a new person.
A woman who is willing and ready to work on her issues and respect the sanctity of a relationship. A woman worth fighting for.
And when he sees you the next day (and all the following casual run-ins that will likely occur), he needs to see that breaking up with you was the biggest mistake he’s ever made. In other words, you need to make him regret losing you.
And following the 6 rules below is the exact way to make that happen.
1. Respect his boundaries
If he says that he needs space and time to figure stuff out, give it to him.
If he shares with you a painful reason for his sudden pulling away, try to put yourself in his shoes, and understand where he’s coming from.
Try to flip the situation. Let’s say you were the one who initiated the breakup.
You were the one who needed to get herself together and find a way out of your difficult situation.
Would you be okay with your ex-partner badgering you with questions?
Would it make him seem more appealing to you or would you perhaps feel more distant from him than ever?
I think you get the gist! Prove to him you’re an understanding ex girlfriend, and don’t pry!
Respect his wishes and give him his much needed time. If it’s meant to be between you two, eventually it’s going to happen – don’t rush it.
2. Explore your newfound independence
In my opinion, the most attractive quality a person can have is the ability to find at least a tiny bit of good in every shitty situation.
It’s no easy task, but if you’re adamant, you’re going to succeed! And right now, you get to explore the lengths of your newfound independence!
You get to do whatever the hell you want to do and with whomever you want!
Go out to that new club you’ve been DYING to go to (but never did because it’s mostly for singles) and dance the night away with hot strangers.
Sleep in on the weekends knowing you’ve got nobody to see now, therefore no reason to annoy yourself with setting the alarm!
Take a trip by yourself. Find new hobbies. Explore the parts of yourself that you’ve been neglecting for months!
Once you understand how enriching and profound this can be, you’re going to thrive in your independence and learn to appreciate life more than ever!
And once your ex sees you living your best life with NO regrets, he’s going to want to reconnect with you! And it’s completely up to you how you handle it from then on.
3. Enjoy quality time with your mutual friends
This is a surefire way to get his attention and not look desperate.
If you’ve got friends in common, that’s the perfect opportunity to subtly let him know how easy, breezy, and chill you are!
Show him that he let go of a total catch by having the BEST time with your friends, and be sure to capture a photo or two!
They are for sure going to talk to him eventually and you can bet your ass he’s going to ask about you.
And all they’ll have to say is that you’ve been absolutely thriving and they’re enjoying this new, awesome girl you’ve become since the breakup. He will then have two options.
Either to keep playing it cool and pretend that he doesn’t care, OR he’ll actually admit to himself what an ass he was for letting you go and shoot you a text, asking you to meet up.
Just be sure to be as carefree and relaxed as ever once that happens.
You want him to notice you at your best! And then – the ball is in his court.
And I just hope he’s smart enough not to let you go twice.
4. ”Accidentally” run into him
This is the guy you’ve been dating for a while, right? So you pretty much know him to his core.
Therefore, running into him ”by accident” should be a piece of cake! You pretty much know everything there is to know about him, and it’s almost too easy.
You know where he goes out and where he goes to get food. Perhaps you could take a walk around the neighborhood when you know he normally goes there and look your best of course!
If you know where he’s going to be the following weekend (courtesy of mutual friends) go get your girls and make a night of it!
Let him see you completely happy, without a care in the world and in the best of moods.
Pretend you completely forgot he goes to this place too, and start talking completely casually.
The point is for him to get a chance to see you and talk to you in a stress-free environment and when enough time has passed.
That way, he’ll have had time to figure his shit out and seeing you could resolve all of his doubts!
5. Start seeing a new guy
Of course, this shouldn’t be anything serious and meaningful. Just a cute guy to spend some time with and get your fix when you’re in need.
After all, you’re only human. But the trick here is to get your ex to somehow find out in order to gauge his reaction.
See, when a guy lets you go, he doesn’t really know what he just gave up until he sees you in the company of another man.
Well, give him that opportunity! Let your little fling be known, but never be too flashy.
He might be okay with it, but even more likely, he gets jealous and starts questioning his decision to ignore you.
One thing is for sure, though: you’ll have his attention, and that’s a great start.
6. Use social media to your advantage
Since you two are currently not together, he doesn’t really have an insight into your life anymore.
And in the beginning that’s totally okay, for the sake of both of you healing.
But after a while, you’ll both be wondering what the other one is up to. And therein comes social media!
If you want him to know where you are and what exciting thing you’re doing today, be sly about it and post a cute pic with a location of course on Instagram, or tweet about that new place you just went to that’s absolutely bananas.
That’s the easiest way for him to see what you’ve been up to and casually run into you – if he wants to, of course.
But even if he doesn’t, at least he’ll know you’re still enjoying your life and that you’ve been doing fantastic after the breakup!
Seeing your face regularly could make him start missing you and that could lead to him texting you!
You never know what might happen, so never count anything out. Use the tools you have to get your ex to stop ignoring you and you’ll know you did your best! Either way, you’ll be just fine, trust me.
You’ve survived worse things, and you’ll certainly get through this, no matter the outcome!
