They say that when you find the right one, she’ll be worth waiting for. But what if she’s not ready for a relationship even after that?
Despite the fact that you hang out together all the time, she doesn’t want to have the ‘‘serious relationship’’ talk. Is this a red flag? Should you wait or leave?
Sometimes, you find the right person but not at the right time, and even though you like each other, you can’t be together. Is timing really that important?
This article reveals all the necessary information to help you make the right decision.
11 Clear Reasons Why She’s Not Ready For A Relationship
If she’s not ready for a relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re what’s holding her back.
Most of the time, there are other problems unrelated to you but to her past relationship experience and current focus in life. So, let’s elaborate on each one:
1. She’s not over her ex
This is the most common reason a lot of people aren’t ready for a relationship. The moment she starts loving someone, it creates a strong bond that can’t be broken easily.
That’s why you’ll often stumble upon the ‘‘I’m not ready for a relationship’’ sentence.
Getting over someone is a hard and long-lasting process, but that doesn’t prevent her from dating and having lukewarm feelings for you.
She may not be ready for a relationship, but she wants to be part of your life. The question is: are you?
2. She only wants something casual
Casual dating is becoming more and more popular because of its numerous benefits.
People love that they don’t have any responsibilities and commitments but still get someone to talk to when they’re down and have regular sex with.
Maybe this is the case with your friend or coworker you want to be with. She doesn’t want to deal with the drama and pressure that comes with a serious relationship.
3. She has other priorities
Sometimes, no matter how much she likes you, she likes her career even more. It’s not uncommon that many girls nowadays want to focus on their careers and professional progress.
That’s why she doesn’t have time to commit to a serious relationship. All her energy will be focused on her job, hobbies, and volunteer work that boosts her CV.
So when you think about it, she has a valid reason she’s not ready for a relationship.
4. She is insecure
Your potential girlfriend may be coping with insecurities for one reason or another. She may think that she’s not good enough for anyone and, because of this, is unable to form any stronger bonds.
Insecurity can seriously affect a person, and one of the side effects is the inability to establish a committed relationship. Why?
Because every time she feels special and loved by you, she’ll think she’s not good enough, that there are many other girls who are better than her.
5. She doesn’t want to get hurt again
Having traumas from previous relationships has affected her current relationships as well. She may not be over her ex and what he did to her.
These things have negatively affect her mental health. She probably bottles up all these emotions and keeps them hidden.
Maybe she’s not ready for a relationship, but that doesn’t mean she won’t be. Give her some time.
6. She doesn’t trust men
Heartbreak can do a lot to a girl: one of these things is losing trust in every consequent partner. She won’t even take a text message from you saying how much you miss her seriously.
She probably had a bad experience with her ex-partner and now has serious trust issues. Trust issues may arise from cheating, lying, and hiding things.
If her previous relationship was defined based on these things, it’s normal to expect that she won’t be ready for another relationship.
7. She doesn’t feel any chemistry
Women usually have the same taste in men: masculine, tall, and a cute face. But this is a general pattern. We all have our own taste when it comes to partners.
This doesn’t mean you’re not attractive enough – you’re just not her cup of tea. Maybe she looks at you as a best friend and nothing more.
Therefore, even if she develops feelings for you, she can’t get over the fact that there’s no sexual chemistry between you two. We all know that sexual attraction is a major part of every relationship.
8. You moved too quickly
Some girls like to slow down with the talking stage and don’t like jumping into a relationship too quickly.
Maybe you aren’t even aware that you’re coming on too strong because you have a natural feeling that she’s the one. However, certain things can be a turn-off for many girls.
For example, you went out and bumped into your friends, and you introduced her to them with the ‘‘This is my girlfriend’’ sentence, but you didn’t even have the relationship talk.
So, slow down a little, and when the time comes, she’ll be ready for a relationship with you.
9. She just broke up with her ex
It’s hard to move on from a previous relationship, even though you know that they’re not the right person for you, even though you don’t want to be with them anymore.
However, getting into another relationship too fast can be a bad thing, and she’s aware of this.
She doesn’t want to give you hope that this relationship will work because she definitely isn’t over the breakup. So now it’s up to you to decide if it’s worth staying in the talking stage until she decides she’s ready.
10. She’s not sure about you
One of the possible reasons she’s not ready for a relationship is that she thinks that this thing going on with you isn’t the right path for her.
She’s not sure if you’re the right guy, and she needs time to figure this out. She believes that she shouldn’t rush into something that might not be the right choice.
However, she’s still going out with you, so that’s a good sign – just give her a little time to get to know your qualities.
11. She’s playing hard to get
Maybe she is ready for a relationship but still wants to play hard to get. Why? She thinks that this will be much more beneficial to her than being too easy to pick up.
This way, you’ll want her even more and value her more than other girls. She loves to be a ‘‘prize to be won.’’
Additionally, she may be looking for validation from you. So pay her enough attention, listen to her, normalize her feelings and show empathy.
What To Do If She’s Not Ready For A Relationship
Now that you’ve figured out the reason why she’s not ready for a relationship, it’s time to figure out what to do about it.
Should you stay and fight for her, or leave and make her regret her decision? Let’s see:
1. Calm down
If she stated that she doesn’t want a relationship right now, you can’t expect to see any changes any time soon.
So, take a step back, calm down, and think about this situation. Depending on the reason why she’s not ready for a relationship, you can decide what your next move is.
Don’t be too disappointed because this is something that can be changed. You need to figure out the right approach. Acting impulsively will only make things worse for both of you.
2. Go with the no-contact rule
The no-contact rule is a good approach if you want to make her regret her decision and finally realize you’re the right guy for a committed relationship.
So, go no contact and cut all ties with her. Don’t send a single text message, even if it’s only to see if she’s okay.
When you’re 100% absent, she’ll inevitably think of you because, for a long time, you were an integral part of her life.
3. Stop putting pressure on her
Putting pressure on her will only make things worse. Nobody wants to force things, especially something like a romantic relationship. So what should you do?
Don’t put on any relationship labels. Focus on the fun part of your relationship and go with the flow. And sooner or later, she’ll realize that you’re the right choice for you.
Being the best version of yourself with her will prove to her that you’re the one, so just stick to the stuff you were doing before.
4. Give her time
It’s not normal to expect instant results, with or without putting pressure on her.
If you agree that it’s okay not to use any relationship labels, give her the time she needs while still doing and behaving as you did before.
Don’t be upset if this doesn’t happen soon because some girls can’t help themselves but truly get to know you before entering a serious relationship with you.
Time and effort will be the best formula to make her fall in love with you.
5. Make her want you
The only constant in life is change, said Heraclitus. Change is what drives people and provides solutions to our problems.
This situation is no exception. You should change if you want her to fall in love with you quickly. Pay attention to the things she says, her feelings, and her interests.
Openly communicate about her needs and try to adapt to them. To make things clear, this won’t be easy, but remember what Hulisani said: ‘‘Patience is a tree whose root is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.’’
6. Accept her decision
In some cases, no matter what you do, no matter how much you change and adapt to her needs, she won’t be ready for a relationship.
Maybe this is when you should visit a relationship coach because the problem might be more serious than you think.
However, if even this doesn’t help, it’s time to leave. You should respect her decision, but more importantly, you should respect yourself enough to know when it’s time to leave.
Don’t be blinded by nice words, and happy moments will only last a while. You deserve better than this.
7. You’ll find someone else
If she’s not ready for a relationship, you’ll find someone who is.
I know you found someone you genuinely like spending time with and even caught feelings for, but this relationship won’t get you far.
There is a soulmate for everyone, and she isn’t the right one for you. Maybe you’ll need to wait a little longer for the right one to arrive, but when she finally comes, she’ll be ready for a relationship and love you just the way you are.
Should You Wait For Her?
Going to the next level with your relationship is a serious thing for every emotionally unavailable girl, especially if she has additional trust issues.
But your job, as her potential significant other, is to give her the time she needs and to convince her you’ll do anything for her and her well-being.
This only applies if you see that she really has some past trauma. However, if this is not the case, you’re wasting your precious time, and you shouldn’t wait a minute more for her.
How Long Should You Wait?
Before making this decision, take into account these key points:
1. Does she seem determined to change?
2. Are you determined to change?
3. Do you see any progress in your relationship?
If the answer to all of these questions is ‘‘yes’’ and you constantly see improvement, it shouldn’t be a problem to wait even a few months.
But maybe your partner wants an open relationship and doesn’t think of serious relationships as a big deal – in this case, you shouldn’t wait at all.
Can A Girl Like You But Not Want A Relationship?
Yes, a girl can like you but not want a relationship with you. Why she doesn’t want a relationship depends on many reasons, but most of the time, you aren’t the problem here.
Maybe she wants to be ‘‘just friends’’ because she’s emotionally unavailable at the moment and doesn’t want to lure you into something you wouldn’t like.
This friendzone, however, may not last forever. As soon as she recovers from her previous relationship, you might get a girlfriend who first loves you as a friend and then as a partner.
However, there are also girls who never want a serious relationship and only engage in casual dating. But by reading the signs carefully, you’ll know what type of girlfriend she is.
What Are The Signs She’s Not Ready For A Relationship?
Sometimes, it’s hard to understand if your girlfriend is playing hard to get or isn’t ready for a relationship. So, here are the signs she’s definitely not ready for it:
• She doesn’t talk about your eventual relationship progress – if she’s constantly busy with everything else but not your relationship and doesn’t put any effort into it, it’s probably because she isn’t ready for one.
• She mentions her ex-partner all the time – talking about ex-partners isn’t such a bad thing. However, it can be if she constantly finds a way to talk about them. It’s a sign she’s heartbroken and doesn’t want anything serious with you.
• She sends mixed signals – sending mixed signals and playing hot and cold is another obvious sign she’s not that into you. One minute everything is fine, and you’re enjoying your date, the next, she pulls away like you’re a complete stranger.
• She hasn’t introduced you to her friends and family – if you’ve been in the talking stage for a while but still haven’t met her family and friends, it’s probably because she doesn’t want you to. This is something people do when they’re sure they’ve found someone serious, but she clearly doesn’t feel the same about you.
• She constantly talks about your flaws – everyone has flaws. Nobody’s perfect. However, if she constantly brings up your weaknesses and says this relationship wouldn’t work, it’s because she doesn’t want it to work.
At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you know she’s honest when she says she’s not ready for a relationship, that this situationship won’t last long and that she needs time.
If you see that she’s trying her best and you don’t spot any signs of casual dating but instead emotional unavailability and trust issues, try working with her to regain her emotional stability and trust by being the best version of yourself.However, if you see that she’ll never be ready for a serious relationship with you, it’s best that you end things because if you don’t, it will be a relationship of constant tension and suffering.