Writing down a “Should I get a divorce” checklist might be one of the best ways to make the right call regarding your marriage.

This way, you’ll put everything on a piece of paper, and you’ll get an impartial perspective on your situation.

Don’t worry: having second thoughts about ending your marriage is perfectly normal. You’re not sure what the right choice is, and you want to do what’s best for your entire family without rushing your decision.

Well, in that case, a “Should I get a divorce” checklist is the thing for you. Here are the 12 crucial things you must consider before starting the divorce process.

The Ultimate 11 Point Divorce Checklist

Abuse

man in white t-shirt yelling at woman

The first point on your checklist should definitely be abuse. You see, bad things happen between married couples and nobody’s life is all sunshine and roses.

As much as you try to avoid it, sometimes you and your spouse will get into a fight. Sometimes you’ll even exaggerate by insulting each other, which is not okay but is also not reason enough to get a divorce.

However, there is a huge difference between your spouse calling you names once then apologizing for it and them verbally abusing you. Yes, that’s also a thing.

When you think of abuse, you assume that the other person has to actually hit you for their actions to be classified as violent.

Well, this is exactly why a lot of people remain in abusive marriages: they don’t know that someone can abuse you physically, emotionally, verbally, and in many other ways.

If any kind of abuse is on your checklist, it’s an adequate indicator that your marriage is not what it should be.

Another thing I’ll ask you is to remember that no matter what is going on, this is not your fault, and you’re not to blame. Nobody has the right to abuse you, let alone the person who should love you the most.

Affairs

man and woman kissing while laying on bed

Infidelity is also one of the top reasons why people get a divorce. Once again, there are different types of infidelity.

Did your spouse have a physical or an emotional affair? How long did it last? Maybe they didn’t actually commit adultery, but you noticed they fell in love with someone else.

Well, sometimes, this realization can be more painful than one night of weakness that didn’t mean anything. Either way, it depends on what hurt you the most.

However, you’re not the only one making this decision. Does your spouse want a second chance for your marriage, or are they ready to start fresh with their new partner?

In the latter case, you have no choice but to accept the divorce. After all, what can you do? Beg them to love you, even though they were the ones who had an affair?

woman in white top sitting on window pane looking outside

On the other hand, if they’re the ones asking for your forgiveness, it’s up to both of you to decide about your marriage’s future.

Do you believe your significant other that this was a one-time thing? Can you look at your spouse in the same way after this betrayal?

Or maybe you were the unfaithful one? In that case, the situation is pretty much the same – you two just have reversed roles.

Whatever you decide, remember that there is no shame in forgiving an affair or ending a marriage because of it – if that’s what you think is right.

You have to be aware that this infidelity had to be caused by something that was off in your marriage.

If you decide to give each other another chance, you have to find the source and cure it before it really does destroy your marriage.

Marriage counseling

woman talking to therapist while sitting near man

Sometimes, couples have a difficult time overcoming obstacles in their marriage. Their marital problems seem too big for them to handle, and they feel incapable of reaching a compromise.

It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about infidelity, their differences, or a lack of passion – at the end of the day, the point is the same: something is off.

However, they still have feelings for each other. Maybe they’ve spent too much time together to let it all go to waste just like that. Or they want to give it another try for the kid’s sake?

In that case, marriage counseling is the right path to take.

Seeing a professional

Every couple should visit a professional before taking the final step and starting the divorce process.

I know what you must be thinking right now: “What could a stranger possibly know about my marriage that the two of us don’t?” Well, surprisingly, a lot.

First and foremost, this is a professional specialized in your kind of problems. This is a person whose job is to help married couples find a middle ground.

woman talking to therapist while sitting near man

Besides, since your marriage counselor is not emotionally involved, they can look at your problems more objectively.

They will give you a broader perspective on things, and you’ll probably start seeing your marriage in a different light once you talk to them.

This is the person who can show you the right direction – someone who knows what you should do to save your relationship and become a better husband and wife.

Taking advice from others

Whatever you do, don’t let anyone else interfere in your relationship. Look, I know that you’ll both ask for your friend or family’s opinion, but don’t let their attitudes guide you.

It’s one thing to talk to a trained professional who knows what they’re doing, but blindly following a third person’s lead can make things even worse.

I don’t care if you have a friend who’s been through a divorce or if your spouse’s parents are telling them what to do. Each case is unique, and the two of you are the only ones who have the right to make a decision.

Communication

woman talking to man while sitting on sofa

The next point on your “Should I get a divorce” checklist is the communication between you and your spouse.

You’re an adult, and this is not your first relationship, so I don’t have to emphasize the importance of healthy communication in a marriage.

What I am interested in now is whether you and your partner ever talked things through. But I mean really talked – honestly and open-heartedly.

No, a healthy conversation isn’t yelling, holding grudges, resenting, and engaging in a blame game. Because I’m sure that’s what you two have been doing.

I am talking about sitting down alone, without the kids or anyone else interfering. I’m talking about being completely sincere and putting all the cards on the table.

You have to forget about passive aggression, the silent treatment, and similar toxic techniques here. You two need to say whatever is on both of your minds before filing for a divorce.

This might sound strange, but it’s possible that your spouse is not certain about what’s been bothering you all along. Maybe they didn’t listen or didn’t want to hear your complaints at that moment.

man and woman talking while sitting on sofa

So, now you’re on the verge of getting a divorce lawyer without ever really having a decent conversation.

Well, even if you don’t think that your marriage is worth fighting for, wouldn’t it be a pity if you ended things without speaking your mind one last time?

If nothing else, this is the least you owe to each other and to the years you’ve spent together – the least you owe to all those beautiful memories you once shared.

It’s crucial to forget about your egos during this conversation. There is no need to be pathetic either, but don’t hide your emotions from each other because this might be the last chance to express them.

Ask your spouse everything you’ve been wondering about. Clear away all of your doubts and let them answer all the questions that have been bugging you.

Yes, there is a chance that you two will decide to give it another shot after this talk. But, there is also a chance that you’ll stick to the divorce.

Even in that case, I promise you that sometime in the future, when all of this is behind you, you’ll be glad you had one last conversation. You’ll be happy that nothing was left unsaid and that you got your closure.

Parenting plan

mother and daughter holding hands while walking on shore

It’s unbelievably difficult to go through a divorce when it’s just the two of you. Well, you can only imagine how painful it is to do it when you have children together.

Let’s get one thing straight: your kids shouldn’t be the only reason why you choose to remain in an unhappy marriage.

Nevertheless, they’re quite a significant factor in this decision and the entire process.

Whether you like it or not, your kids depend on you and your husband or wife. I’m not referring to finances here only – I’m also talking about emotional, psychological, and every other form of dependency.

No matter what’s going on between you two, you’re both their parents. Therefore, they love and want you both in their lives.

You have to be aware that their lives will drastically change after a divorce. Also, there is a possibility of this leaving consequences on their mental health if not done properly.

First of all, they won’t be living with one of their parents anymore, which is a shock enough.

They’re used to having you both present in their lives 24/7, and now, all of a sudden, they’ll only get to see their mom or dad a few times a week.

father holding colored pencils while sitting near daughter on carpet

Also, there is a possibility that they’ll have to move, depending on which spouse keeps your marital home. That means they’ll have to change their entire surroundings, including their school and friends.

How old are your children? Do you think that they’re mature enough to process what’s going on?
Will they see this as the breakage of their entire family and the world they know of?

What do you plan on doing with child custody? Do you think you and your spouse will be able to find a middle ground and come to an agreement that suits your children the best?

Or will you have to go through a child custody battle? Will you two have what it takes to go through this painful process the adult way, or will your children’s lives become your battlefield?

These are all questions you have to ask yourself before actually filing for divorce. After all, you’ve got to have a plan – you’re responsible for other human beings who are affected by your decision.

Either way, this will be a traumatic experience for them, and it’s your job to minimize the damage.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not here to judge you for getting a divorce despite having kids – I just want you to take this situation seriously.

Love

man and woman kissing while standing outdoor

When you’re younger, you’re convinced that love is enough for two people to succeed together.

You feel butterflies in your belly, the other person makes you laugh, and before you know it, you can’t picture your life without them.

So, you end up married. Sooner or later, you realize that life is not all rainbows and unicorns.

Most importantly: you realize that love is not enough for a sustainable relationship that doesn’t have compromise, respect, fidelity, healthy communication, etc.

I couldn’t agree with you more: you’re an adult who needs other things besides love to be happy and fulfilled.

But let’s not forget one thing: even though it’s not the only thing that matters, love between partners is still crucial and irreplaceable.

So, let your feelings be the next point on your “Should I get a divorce” checklist. No, this doesn’t make you an immature hopeless romantic – it means that you want to take everything into account.

The question is: Is there any love left between you and your spouse? Do you still love each other, despite everything bad that’s happened between you two?

woman in black top sitting on armchair near window

Love connects you

If the answer is yes, will these feelings magically go away the moment you sign those divorce papers? Basically, what I want to know is whether you’re capable of killing those feelings off?

Is there a possibility of you still loving them, years from now, despite you two not being together? And is that risk worth taking? Who will you listen to, your heart or your mind?

Falling out of love with your spouse

On the other hand, there are couples whose passion vanished ages ago and couples who are convinced that they don’t love each other anymore.

Well, I’m not here to advise you to stay in a loveless marriage. Remember: love is not enough, but it is crucial.

However, if this is the only reason why you want a divorce, ask yourself whether you’ve done everything to rekindle your love.

Look, just because you are not in love with your partner the way you were at the beginning of your romance doesn’t make you totally indifferent.

Personal happiness

woman in red hoodie looking at mountain

At the end of the day, the most important thing you have to ask yourself is, “Am I happy?”

You could be living in a mansion, with all of your finances sorted out, and a spouse who brings you breakfast in bed every single morning.

You could have a seemingly perfect marriage with absolutely nothing to complain about.

But at the same time, you could be unhappy. Maybe you’ve concluded that getting married was a mistake in the first place.

Maybe you feel trapped in your relationship. Perhaps you can’t stand looking at your spouse anymore, for no specific reason.

All of this might make you feel unhappy. You can’t really explain why, but you know that you don’t want to remain married to your significant other.

And that is perfectly okay. This is nothing to feel guilty about. It’s better to be honest than to keep on sleeping next to someone who makes you miserable.

If this is not a phase, and you’ve been feeling like this for a while now, be selfish enough to put your satisfaction first. Go in your pursuit of happiness!

Post-divorce love life

woman with curly hair drinking coffee at home

The next thing on your “Should I get a divorce” checklist is your love life afterward. Will you stay single? Or do you plan on remarrying?

Of course, you can never predict your future but what you can do is examine both options.

Single life

When you’ve been in a relationship and married for most of your adult life, it’s natural that you’re scared of being single.

Even if your marriage was a disaster, at least you knew you always had someone to rely on.

You knew who to call first in an emergency, you had someone to share your responsibilities and chores with, and you had your plus one at important events.

Each of these things might seem irrelevant at this moment in time but trust me – once you lose them for good, you’ll sense their absence.

But this is not me telling you that you can’t make it on your own. On the contrary, this is just me preparing you for what’s coming next, so you can be strong enough to endure all those hardships.

woman in black top standing near door looking outside

I won’t lie to you: it will take you some time to get used to this new situation. However, I promise you that you will make it and that you will rock your single life.

Reentering the dating pool

The Earth won’t stop spinning once you sign those papers, as much as it seems that way now.

Even though this probably looks like a mission impossible at the moment, you will fall in love again sooner or later.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not here to force you to jump into a new relationship the moment you part ways with your significant other.

However, I’m asking you: how do you picture your potential relationship after a divorce? Would you only agree to be with a divorcee who’s been through the same experience as you?

When do you see yourself mentally ready for this step? How do you think your new partner would fit in your life?

How will your love life impact your kids, if you have any? Are you open to the possibility of having more children, or do you think you’re done?

Financial situation

man signing on paper while sitting at table

Cost of the divorce

Wouldn’t it be great if you could just make a decision about the divorce? One of you packs your bags, leaves your house, and that’s it?

Well, then, it would be a relationship. You see, getting a legal separation requires procedures that cost money.

In the best-case scenario, you’ll just pay the legal fees. However, this is only possible if you have no real estate or share child custody.

If you two can agree on important matters, sign an uncontested divorce settlement, and hire a divorce mediator, it will cost you a lot less money than paying for two divorce lawyers.

Of course, the latter option is the most expensive, especially if you get into a court battle.

Life after divorce

However, paying for divorce proceedings should be the least of your financial worries. First of all, can you afford to split all of your real estate and money in the bank accounts in half?

If you have a house together, can you afford to take care of all of its expenses if your ex-wife or husband was the one who left?

woman writing down notes while packing

On the other hand, can you afford to rent a new apartment, if you don’t have personal property?
Did you sign a prenuptial agreement, and on what terms? Do you have joint retirement accounts?

What about your health insurance policy and tax returns? Is your life insurance policy in your spouse’s name? Do you have a savings account only in your name?

Staying married for the money is one of the stupidest choices you can make, but regardless, you have to ask yourself whether you’re financially independent enough to walk away from your spouse.

If the answer is “no,” start getting ready! For starters, open a savings account and begin building a future for yourself.

This is especially important if you’re a stay at home parent with no or poor work experience or education.
You need to acquire a certain skill and get a job as soon as possible if you don’t want to end up on the streets.

Also, get at least one credit card (and monitor your credit report regularly) in your name only to help you get by in the beginning!

Don’t forget about child support, alimony, and possibly social security benefits, which will also impact your financial situation.

If all of this is too complex for you to understand, hire a skilled family law attorney to give you some legal advice.

Support from others

woman with red bag leaning on woman's shoulder

No matter what, I know that you’re a self-sufficient person, even though you might not think that of yourself right now.

It means that you can make it through your own divorce process alone, regardless of the circumstances.

However, it would be great to have some support in the beginning. Having at least one person you can rely on in the initial post-divorce period is more than enough.

Emotional support

I’ll be honest with you: it won’t be easy. First and foremost, you’ll go through a grieving process.

I don’t care if you’re the one who initiated the divorce or who fell out of love with your spouse – parting ways with someone you planned on spending the rest of your life with is difficult as hell.

There will be a lot of sleepless nights you’ll spend wondering if you made the right choice. Even if you ended up despising your husband or wife, there will also be moments when you’ll miss their presence.

Even if you were dying to get out of your toxic relationship, there will be times when you’ll miss being married. Surprisingly but true, sometimes you’ll even miss having someone to argue with.

woman in gray t-shirt talking on the phone

Well, this is when you’ll need your loved ones’ emotional support.

You’ll need your best friend or a sibling you can call in the middle of the night, just to hear you out and to tell you that everything will be alright.

Financial support

You may need some financial support as well. Don’t worry – accepting some help from those closest to you, in the beginning, isn’t the same as begging.

It doesn’t make you incompetent – it just means that you’ve found yourself in a new situation and that you could use a hand. Nevertheless, please don’t rely on this money you get – you’ll still need a steady income.

Babysitting services

Your children are your and your spouse’s responsibility. However, if they live with you, you’ll need someone on hand for them.

After all, you’re used to sharing errands and chores around the house. Now, all of a sudden, most of the responsibilities have fallen to you.

So, if your parents offer to take care of the kids while you take some time off or to get them from school, thank them and accept their help. This doesn’t make you a bad parent.

Saving your marriage

man and woman hugging while sitting on armchair

The final point on your “Should I get a divorce” checklist should be the question: “Can my marriage be saved?”
Is there anything more to be done? Is there any hope? Any ray of light coming through the darkness?

Look, you shouldn’t try gluing back together a marriage that is broken beyond repair. If you do that, you’ll just make things better temporarily.

Sooner or later, your marital problems will arise, and you and your spouse will end up divorcing one way or another. Or you’ll grow old in a toxic marriage – and you don’t know which one is worse.

However, I’m begging you not to take this decision impulsively. Don’t choose to get a divorce just because you’re angry or because you two are dealing with an issue that can be resolved.

Don’t give up on your marriage without a proper fight. Instead, put all of your efforts into trying to bring it back to life.

I’m not saying that you’ll succeed in fixing your marriage. But at least you’ll always know you did your best.

Trust me: you don’t want to catch yourself years from now, thinking that you could have and should have done more.

On top of everything else you’ll be dealing with, you don’t want to struggle with all the what ifs.

It’s okay for you to leave only when you are positive that your marriage is doomed to fail. Only then the guilt won’t eat you alive, and you’ll be able to move on and heal in a healthy way.

When Should I Get A Divorce

Have you gone through all the points on the “Should I get a divorce” checklist, but you’re still not sure what to do?

Don’t worry because I’ve got you covered with these surefire signs that ending your marriage is the thing to do.

Get a divorce if…

Forgiveness is not an option

pensive woman in black top leaning on fence

No one is perfect, so it’s no surprise that your spouse did something to hurt your feelings.

I won’t lie to you: even if you two work things out, there will always be times where they’ll do you harm, sometimes without even being aware of it.

However, there are some situations where you simply can’t forgive them, as hard as you try.

It doesn’t matter whether you were involved with a narcissist, if they were unfaithful, broke your trust, abandoned you when you needed them the most, or didn’t meet your expectations.

The point is that YOU feel like you can’t forget what they’ve done. Deep down, you know that this event will forever remain a barrier between you two.

In that case, you have no other option but to file for a divorce. After all, you shouldn’t spend the rest of your life with someone you feel so much resentment for.

Please, don’t feel guilty for doing so. You listened to your gut and did the right thing!

You’re ready to be self-sufficient

woman with orange lipstick standing outdoor

You can be independent and married, but you can’t be codependent and divorced.

I’m sure you see my point: nobody is telling you to get a divorce just because you can make it on your own. But on the other hand, you MUST be self-sufficient to get a divorce.

Financially independence

I know this sounds pretty harsh, but it is how things are, whether you like it or not. From now on, you’ll have your own household that you need to support.

If the kids are staying with you, you’ll be getting child support. If you don’t have a job and your ex-spouse is financially stable, the court will probably order them to give you spousal support as well.

However, alimony or any kind of financial support is not something you should rely on. You have to be financially independent to make this huge step.

business woman holding blue mug while standing near window

So, go through your financial documents and credit reports and see where you stand!

Emotionally independent

Another form of self-sufficiency you have to acquire is an emotional one. Forget about turning to the other side of the bed, waiting for a hug whenever you’re feeling miserable at night.

Forget about calling your ex-husband or wife every time you need someone to listen to your problems and be your shoulder to cry on.

The harsh truth is that you’re not only losing a husband or a wife, you’re also losing a friend and a family member.

If you’re ready to be self-sufficient in all of these ways – you’re good to go. If not, maybe you should work on your independence first before you leave your marriage.

There is no “we”

sad woman leaning on sofa while sitting near man

Being married means being a part of a union. One of the reasons you say “I do” is not to go through life alone anymore and to be a part of a two-person team.

Well, one of the signs that it’s time to file for a divorce is that there is no more “we” in your marriage. If you’ve experienced something similar, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.

When this happens, you feel like you’re alone in a relationship. You can’t rely on your partner, they don’t give you any emotional support, and you don’t see them as your plus one.

They make all their life decisions without involving you, and you end up feeling like their roommate instead of their spouse.

If you have kids, you feel like a single parent. Your spouse is not included in their upbringing, nor do they give them enough attention.

Of course, this can change in some cases – it’s just necessary for both of you to put in some extra effort. The first step is to talk things through with your loved one and tell them that this is bothering you.

If you’re both interested in bettering your marriage, you’ll both change, and you’ll become an item once again. However, if the other party doesn’t mind living like this, you have no other choice but to pack your bags.

It turns out that you’re pretty much alone either way, so why shouldn’t you be officially single?

You’ll be happier alone

blonde woman in gray sweater standing near tree

It has already been established that your happiness has to come first. Of course, this doesn’t apply to the situation where you have kids because you’re responsible for their well being.

However, even then, they’re more likely to have a better quality of life next to two satisfied parents who live apart than to grow up in a toxic environment next to two unhappy caregivers.

At the end of the day, if you think that you’ll be happier alone than you are with your partner, there is nothing much to be said about this. Everything is clear: the single life is your pursuit of happiness.

Once again, I’m not talking about a phase here. We all have times when we feel miserable and see our life as an utter disaster.

I’m talking about when you know for sure that you’re better off without this person. In this case, leaving your marriage is exiting your comfort zone.

However, taking a leap into the unknown at least offers you the possibility of being happy. On the other hand, if you stay married, you deprive yourself of this chance forever.

There is no more love

woman in blue sweater sitting on chair near window

It’s one thing if the spark has faded away between you and your significant other. Most will never admit this, but almost every couple falls into a rut and enters a phase where the passion is nowhere to be found.

This situation leaves the possibility of recovery. You need to work on your bond and do your best to improve your relationship.

Nevertheless, if you have no doubt that you’ve stopped loving your partner and that your love cannot be revived, you shouldn’t force yourself into spending the rest of your life next to that person.

This goes both ways – if you see that they’ve become indifferent, you shouldn’t beg for their love.
Punishing yourself with a loveless life is a death sentence, especially if one of you has feelings for someone else.

Your marriage can’t be saved

woman touching hair while sitting on bed

You’ve tried the last item on your “Should I get a divorce” checklist – you did your best to revive your marriage.

You’ve gone to marriage counseling, you and your spouse had multiple mature conversations, and you put effort into changing some things about your relationship.

But despite all of your attempts, now you see that your marriage cannot be saved. You gave your best and more, but your efforts weren’t fruitful.

So, what do you do? Well, you ask for a divorce because you’re left with no other option.

You’re psychologically prepared for the divorce

woman in blue top standing in the field

Finally, you should only get a divorce when you’re mentally prepared for it. This is not an impulsive decision, and it requires a lot of overthinking.

That’s exactly what you’ve done: you thought things through more than once, you’ve put all the ups and downs on a scale, and you accepted the fact that parting ways is the only reasonable solution.

Being ready for divorce means much more than getting a steady job, finding a place to live, and organizing your life in a way that you can handle it by yourself.

It means being mentally prepared for it as well.

It means that you’ve come to terms with the idea that you’re losing someone you thought was the love of your life and that you understand that this is the end, not a cry for attention or a warning for them to change.

It means that you know that you’ll be going through a rough patch and that you’re strong enough to handle all the emotions that will appear, but that you won’t allow them to shake your decision.

Moreover, being ready to get a divorce means that you have no second thoughts about your decision. You’re convinced this is the only right thing to do, and you plan on sticking to it forever.

Besides, it means being mature enough to understand that these things happen, instead of seeing your divorce as a personal defeat.

6 Dos and Don’ts Of Post-Divorce Etiquette

Your journey isn’t over once you decide to get a divorce. Instead, it only begins now for real, even though you’ve made a huge step.

Here are some tips and tricks to help you survive the post-divorce period the easiest way possible.

Give yourself time to grieve

long haired woman sitting on rock during daytime

Getting divorced means losing probably the most important person in your life. Yes, they’re alive, but you’re still processing a loss.

Therefore, there is nothing shameful in grieving it. Sadly, some people simply don’t take the time to allow themselves to contemplate their sadness.

I’m not advising you to drown in it, but you need to give yourself time to grieve.

I know that you’re up to your neck in paperwork, you’re overly worried about the kids and the finances, and you’re trying to get used to your new life rhythm – especially in the first year after the divorce.

Due to all of that, you have no energy to think about what has happened to you. You leave handling your emotions for later because now you have better things to do.

So, what happens when that “later” arrives? Well, your deeply rooted traumas appear on the surface and, in most cases, cause serious damage to your mental health.

That’s why I’m begging you not to bury things under the carpet. Face your demons as it’s the only way to chase them away permanently.

Let go of resentment

blonde woman in striped top looking at mountain

Obviously, you had some rough times in your marriage – otherwise, your “Should I get a divorce” checklist wouldn’t have been completed.

However, you’re out of your relationship, and there is absolutely no point in going back to it in your head.
Easier said than done, I know. But you do have to let go of the resentment that’s been eating you alive.

It doesn’t matter if you didn’t get the apology you wanted so badly. It’s okay if you can’t forgive the harm your spouse caused you. It will be enough to leave it all in the past.

Don’t pretend that your wounds are non-existent, but don’t pick on them constantly, either. Otherwise, they’ll never turn into scars.

Be mature

red haired woman in black coat looking at water

You’re a grown-up who’s been through a serious situation. Well, this is not the time to start acting immaturely.

I’m not saying that you necessarily have to remain friends with your ex. However, talking trash about them on social media or playing toxic mind games is not an option.

Whatever you two do, please don’t be childish. After all, you spent so much time together and shared so many beautiful memories. So please, honor that if you have any respect left for each other.

Don’t allow the divorce to ruin your self-image

man and woman drinking wine while sitting at table

Being a divorcee doesn’t make you any less valuable, nor does it decrease your worth on the dating market.

I have to warn you: you’ll run into many people who’ll feel sorry for you once they hear that your marriage has failed.

You’ll have to get used to appearing at events and family gatherings on your own. You’ll meet potential girls or guys who’ll look down on your romantic history.

However, neither of these things should ruin your self-image. In fact, it’s your job not to allow this to happen.

Just because your marriage didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean that you’re not worthy.

It doesn’t mean that you’re unlovable, that you’ll never find happiness, or that you’re not good enough for someone to grow old with you.

Don’t let the kids suffer

mother and children using laptop on bed

This one is probably the most significant: whatever happened between you and your spouse, the kids shouldn’t suffer the consequences of your actions or decisions.

Let’s be honest: they’ll suffer enough that their family broke apart in a way, so there is no need for you and your ex-wife or husband to make things even more difficult.

Whether you like it or not, if you have kids with someone, you two will be connected in a way for the rest of your lives. You’re still co-parents, despite no longer being married.

So, please, be civilized about it. Make sure your kids’ benefits always come first.

Don’t talk trash about each other and don’t compete for their attention. Instead, be united in raising your children, even if you couldn’t work as a team in other segments of your lives.

Don’t repeat your mistakes

woman with black hat sitting on bench looking at water

Finally, learn from your marriage and divorce. This is not a curse – it’s a valuable and tough lesson not to repeat your mistakes.

After some time passes, try analyzing your marriage as a bystander. See what went wrong with your ex-husband or wife and make sure nothing similar ever happens in your future relationships.

Final Thoughts

The “Should I get a divorce” checklist is not here to tell you what to do with your life. Instead, its job is to help you and to direct you towards the right decision.

It should help you weigh all the pros and cons of your marriage. To help you see whether it’s worth saving or if it’s safe to give up on it.

Actually, this list is a thorough analysis of your marriage. It offers you a chance to dissect it from a different point of view so you can make the right choice.

Whatever you do, I hope you make the best possible call for your entire family. Good luck!