No one wants to play with a married man. This is a pretty obvious red flag. But sometimes, the signs of a married player aren’t just a wedding ring and photos of their partner on social media.
Those who want to date other women or men besides their spouses can be professionals in hiding their relationship status.
We want you to avoid getting emotionally tangled up with such people, so we’ve got 29 telltale signs you should be aware of before you start dating one.
29 Telltale Signs Of A Married Player You Didn’t Know
It’s not uncommon to come across someone who’s married and wants to improve their love life with one or more partners.
They know that most of us won’t agree to these conditions, and that’s why they keep this information hidden. For this purpose, here are the 29 signs of a married player.
1. They don’t talk much about their personal life
Let’s start with a clear sign of a married player: they keep their personal life to themselves.
Think about it: you have great communication, and you talk about a lot of different things – your interests, hobbies, and work but never about their friends, family, and other relationships.
It’s normal that your partner may not be so open in the beginning, especially if they’re an introvert. However, these things should improve as you go further into your relationship.
But if even after months of dating, they continue keeping things to themselves, it’s an obvious sign they have someone besides you.
2. They disappear from time to time
Leading a double life is manageable, but we can’t ignore the fact that it’s easy to do so. There will always be some omissions.
As your married partner wants first to save their marriage and not the relationship with you, you’ll be the one to break apart.
You’ll see this in the way they, without any notice and for a long time, don’t call or message you. Why? Because they have responsibilities to their spouse or possible children.
Maybe they went on a family trip together for the weekend and totally forgot about you. They will text you and meet up with you only if they have enough free time.
3. They don’t take you out to public places
Public places are a nightmare for every married guy or married woman. Why? Because this is the easiest way for someone to expose them.
Just imagine you go out to a fancy dinner, and they see a coworker or family friend sitting at the table next to you. They won’t just lose their relationship with you, but their marriage will be at risk as well.
However, this might only sometimes be the case. In larger cities, where there are more people and places to go out, it’s practically impossible to run into someone you know if you carefully choose the place you want to go.
4. They haven’t introduced you to their family and friends
If you have been dating for a long time, it’s natural to expect to even accidentally run into their friends or family members.
If they only talk a little about their personal life and don’t introduce you to family and friends, it’s a sign they don’t want a relationship with you or that they’re hiding something.
They are hiding their long-term relationship with someone else. That’s why they won’t introduce you to those close to them because there is a good chance they’ll spill that they’re married.
5. They never invite you home
Not only do they not want to go to public places with you, but they never invite you to their home, even though they’re at your place all the time.
This is maybe okay for the first few weeks, but have you been dating for months and never visited them or received an invitation? That’s a little shady.
Even if you sometimes go out, they’ll always be looking around to see if there’s someone who might recognize you. Their eye contact is never directly on you.
6. They never show affection in public
When a woman or man loves you, they’ll be all over you, and their body language will suggest how much they’ve fallen in love with you.
If you spot these things, but only when you two are alone and never in public, it’s because they’re afraid someone might see you and expose them. You are lovers, but only in private – never in public.
Some people don’t like showing affection in public and love keeping their love life private, but if you spot other obvious signs of a married player, you’ll know this isn’t the case.
7. They have a suspicious past
Yes, people do change for the better. But most of the time, this is a hard and long process. If your partner has a reputation as a cheat, it’s probably because he is.
We shouldn’t rule out the fact that people can lie, but if you hear bad things about them from different sources, there is a high possibility they are true.
Things get worse if you hear that they’re married and have kids. Where there is smoke, there is fire.
8. They don’t like taking pictures
Everyone loves to capture a nice moment with a picture. Photographs serve as a reminder of how much you enjoyed the moments you spent together.
So there isn’t anything bad about wanting a picture with your partner.
However, if your partner never takes a picture with you and always makes excuses about how they’re camera shy or aren’t photogenic, it’s one of the most common signs of a married player.
Because any picture of you two might serve as evidence of their infidelity.
9. Their weekends are planned for other things
When you’re dating a married player, one of the first things you’ll notice is that their weekends are off-limits. A weekend is for the free time we use to enjoy our lives and spend it with our loved ones.
If your partner never finds time for you on weekends and drinks coffee with you only at random times during the week, there is a common reason for that.
No matter how much you think that this is true love, their spouse and children will always be their first priority.
10. They love to flirt with other people
Flirting is a good skill to have. However, if your partner is too good at flirting with you, it’s normal to suspect they have experience in it.
Although good flirting skills don’t mean they are married player, it surely is one of the signs of a chapter and a womanizer.
They can be extremely charming, but that takes a lot of skill and experience. So, how did they gain this skill? Not by being faithful to only one person.
When they get married, they settle down and are no longer the center of attention. They love the chase, and you are the perfect prey.
11. They always hide their phone
It’s okay to keep your life private. No one has the right to dig around in your things. But what if they hide ordinary things from you? Things like a simple text message?
Admit that it’s a little suspicious. Maybe they are hiding a romantic text message from their spouse or a missed phone call from their children.
Put yourself in that situation. Would you guard your phone so much if it were a simple text message from your friend or coworker? I don’t think so.
If you had nothing to hide, you would never feel the need to hide your phone, and that’s a fact.
12. You saw them with someone else
If you’ve been dating for a while now, you might be familiar with their close friends, coworkers, and family members. But what if you randomly see them with someone else you don’t know?
Will you have any suspicions, especially if you spot other signs of a married player?
Well, they might be leading a double life, and their real life is their life with their family and friends. What they have with you is just a phase or a side thing.
Although this might sound harsh, it’s the truth you need to accept.
13. They have secret phone calls
You’ll want privacy when you have a business call or when you’re in a crowded room, but if they leave every time they need to make a phone call, it’s a sign they’re hiding something…or someone.
A more suspicious thing to do is if they check who’s calling and put the call on silent. Okay, maybe they don’t want to be disturbed, but if this happens constantly? I mean, it’s obvious, right?
They don’t want you to know who’s calling them, but they’re also aren’t able to answer the phone because they’ll be exposed.
14. They shower before leaving your place
When you sleep together, it’s normal that you’ll want to take a shower after the action.
But think about it a little: if they shower every time and ONLY at your place, it’s probably because their spouse will suspect they have someone on the side if they come home and immediately take a shower.
So, they need to clean up all the evidence of their wrongdoings before going home.
15. They often go on business trips
Everybody has their life and responsibilities, both to work and other people.
However, if you plan something and they cancel your plans last minute, saying they have an unexpected business trip, it’s a little shady, isn’t it?
Maybe in their case, this ‘‘business trip’’ is a plan with their family that they have forgotten. It’s not a problem if this is a one-time thing, but if it happens often, you know the reason why.
16. They never stay the night
Spending the night with you never happens. They always make an excuse not to spend the night with you, and they always promise that this won’t happen next time.
Those excuses are often based on the fact that they have work early in the morning, but how is it possible that they can never make an exception? Maybe they’re late to see their spouse?
17. You have a gut feeling
The good old gut feeling, especially when it comes to women’s intuition.
Sometimes, they don’t need to display these common signs of a married player, but you still have this gut feeling that tells you something isn’t right.
If you encounter this feeling, there is nothing wrong with doing a little research on your partner. Where do they go? Who do they meet up with? Do they really have no social media profiles?
18. They are mysterious
The fact that they hide their private life is one thing, but avoiding direct questions is another.
If they had nothing to hide, they’d answer you straight. However, a married person will always find a way to avoid any questions that might pose a risk to their double life.
They will always answer with a silly phrase like: “If I told you, I’d have to kill you’’ or ‘‘That’s top-secret information’’ and accompany those sentences with a warm smile.
19. You catch them lying all the time
Nobody lies as well as a married player. They may be good at hiding things in the beginning when you don’t know each other well, but after some time, you’ll slowly start to realize that this whole thing was a lie.
They’ll start to contradict themselves and get tangled up in their own lies. After some time passes, they won’t be able to distinguish what they’ve told you and what they haven’t.
One of the main signs of a married player is if they don’t have any social media accounts. It’s the 21st century, and the internet has become an unavoidable thing.
It’s the first option when it comes to communication: do you know anyone who sends an SMS nowadays? No, me neither.
However, they don’t use social media because this will expose them as a married player, and that’s the last thing they want.
They can’t have social media accounts because this will show you they have a ‘‘happy marriage’’ with one or two children.
21. They often cancel your plans
Business trips are often a valid excuse for canceling plans, but if you get together only when it works for them, they are leading a double life.
Having a double life isn’t easy these days. On the one hand, they have a spouse and children they need to raise; on the other hand, there is you.
You will always be their second choice because it’s more important to them that they save their marriage than a ‘‘side chick’’ they can easily replace. That’s why they’ll always cancel plans with you and never with them.
22. They promise you things
Fake promises are a common tactic that every married player uses. These promises will blind you, and you won’t be able to see the whole picture and the signs of a married player.
But be careful; most of the time, these are just broken promises that will never happen. Broken promises can seriously affect not only your relationship but also your mental health.
23. But never plan a future with you
Even though they promise a lot of cute things, like the places you’ll go, the people you’ll meet, and the memories you’ll make, they never actually talk specifically about your future.
They don’t have concrete moves and plans with you, and everything is just in the air.
After some time, you’ll probably end up dealing with a lack of self-esteem because you’ll think you aren’t good enough, while the truth is completely the opposite.
24. You only text if they want to
Yes, meeting in person is much more important than texting. However, if your online communication is minimal and you only talk when they want to, it’s a sign they might be married.
This stems from the fact that when they’re not with you, they’re probably with their spouse and children, so texting you can be a huge risk.
Even if they reply to you, they are short answers, mainly about where and when you’ll meet up.
25. They don’t put any effort into your relationship
Will a married player really put any effort into an affair? Yes, you’re right; they probably won’t.
They never make you feel special; you’re always at your place ordering takeout… They always promise you you’ll go on a trip together next weekend, but that never happens.
After some time, you realize that you put a lot more effort into your relationship than they ever did.
26. They always have other priorities
It’s normal for adults to have a lot of other things to pay attention to besides a romantic relationship.
It’s normal not to be their number one priority, but if you see that they never have time for you and only meet up when they have unexpected free time, it’s obvious they’re only having an affair with you.
27. They want to keep your relationship private
Having a private relationship is often a good thing.
Prioritizing the intimacy of your relationship, your peace of mind, and that of your spouse over the nosy eyes and validation of strangers means keeping your relationship off social media.
However, if they insist that your relationship remains private even after you develop into a serious relationship, it might be a sign that they’re married and don’t want to risk getting divorced.
28. They treat you like a sidepiece
If they treat you like a side chick, it’s probably because you are. This is not even the worst thing. If they treat you like this, they most probably have other partners as well.
You are not a priority to them; you only meet up when they can, you barely ever text, and they cancel plans last minute. Is this really how you want to be treated?
I know you desperately want to know more about their love interests and how you could fit in, but all these things are an obvious sign they not only have someone else but don’t respect you at all.
29. They say they’re separated
One of the signs they are a married player is if they speak ill about married life, saying that they’re separated or waiting for divorce papers.
Yes, things can be messy and complicated, but if they act like they’re married, it’s probably because they are.
Additionally, if they really love you, they will cut all ties with their spouse unless they have children together and need to keep in touch because of them.
What To Do If You Find Out They’re A Married Player
If you knew they were married, you shouldn’t have gotten involved with them in the first place.
However, if you didn’t know they were married, the best relationship advice I can give you is to forgive yourself and focus on other things,
When you realize your relationship is not what you thought it was, only you have the power to determine what to do next. But once you know something, you cannot unknow it.
1. Don’t lie to yourself
Don’t deceive yourself if you want to keep the relationship going. Don’t convince yourself that your partner is awful or that you were destined to be together.
Are you ready to commit to being his side piece and nothing else with your eyes wide open?
Are you ready to live with the fact that you’re causing damage to other people just by being involved in this affair?
2. Forgive yourself
You might not have been aware of their marriage. You might have accepted their account of being divorced or separated. They lied, and your relationship may be the source of a great deal of guilt and humiliation for you.
Try to forgive yourself. It’s not your fault you didn’t recognize the signs earlier.
It’s up to you what you decide to do next. However, be kind to yourself for not realizing the truth. Maybe you noticed some warning signs and had some suspicions.
Nobody wants to think that a loved one is lying to them.
3. Love yourself
Love yourself enough to respect yourself. You’ll probably grieve and have an awful time after the breakup.
But this is better than being with someone for whom you are not their first choice. Don’t accept less than you deserve if you truly love yourself.
You are not accountable for what they do. You are in charge of your own life and decisions.
4. Choose your move
Now, what will you do? Are you going to tell him the truth? Will you let their spouse know? What are your plans, and are you prepared to handle the consequences?
Only you have the authority to decide this. Perhaps now is a good time to enlist the aid of trusted friends and experts.
You may find that therapy can help you sort through the various emotions you may be feeling.
In fact, if you’ve previously found yourself in a relationship of this nature, it may be time to consider the reasons behind your selection of unsuitable partners and how to deal with it.
The signs of a married player can be more or less obvious. However, if you’ve read this article, you’ll be able to spot a married player.
But this isn’t where your journey ends. The real trouble comes after you realize this. You need to learn how to deal with a situation like this.
Your mental stability is the most important part here; try to focus on yourself and learn how to love yourself. It wasn’t your fault; bad people will come and go. The ones that matter will always stay.