Sexual frustration is one of the modern frustrations caused by not having enough sex or simply being dissatisfied with your intimate life.
There are many things that may cause this phenomenon. They can be physical, mental and emotional.
If you can’t remember the last time you had sex (or good sex at least)—and it doesn’t feel like a dry spell anymore but more like a drought, you are running the risk of becoming sexually frustrated.
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If you’re in a relationship, perhaps you’re not satisfied with your partner’s sexual performance, but you don’t know how to deal with it and how to tell them to improve their game and maybe to try something different in the bedroom.
That is why you’ll eventually become bored and uninterested to have sex with your partner.
Something that was once enjoyable turns into your biggest nightmare.
One more factor that contributes to this condition might be your unwillingness to explore your body.
If you don’t do that, you are unable to find your favorite spots so that you enjoy yourself more during the steamy activities.
Also if you’re going through some things right now and you are under a lot of stress, the stressful situations can greatly affect your libido.
That is why you become uninterested in both masturbation, solo sex or sex with your partner.
The Question Is Why Do We Need Sex?
Firstly, we need sex just as we need regular exercise. It’s good cardio which brings us a lot of health benefits.
It reduces stress, improves our immune system, increases the level of serotonin (which is responsible for our happy moods), etc.
Secondly, human sexual needs are one of the most important parts of our basic instincts.
We all have a subconscious desire to continue reproducing because, without it, we wouldn’t be able to continue our species.
Summarized, sex makes us happy and it has a positive effect on all the other areas of our lives and, after all, there’s not a single reason why we shouldn’t be enjoying it.
However, once you become sexually frustrated, it is really hard to think of engaging in any type of sexual activity, and you find yourself imprisoned in your own body.
What Does It Mean To Be Sexually Frustrated?
Simply put, if you’re having difficulties with achieving sexual satisfaction or you aren’t pleased with your sex life and think you can’t overcome it, it means that you’re sexually frustrated.
Most sexologists agree that this condition is due to quality or quantity issues of your intercourses. Also, it may be provoked by the fact that your sexual urges don’t match your partner’s.
When a person is dealing with this condition, it seems to them that they can’t overcome it and have a better sex life no matter how much they try. That only leads to evoking more frustration and it slowly starts to affect other areas of their life.
You have some sexual fantasies and urges that are so different from what is currently going on in your intimate life. It’s completely natural that this kind of disbalance leads to frustration and other negative feelings.
Of course, it’s possible to overcome this issue but first let’s find out what are the signs of sexual frustration and how it affects your life.
You get easily annoyed and distracted
This is one of the most common signs of sexual frustration. When you’re sexually frustrated, your body responds differently to different stimulations than before, and that is why you find yourself easily annoyed and distracted most of the time.
It keeps all of your daily stress imprisoned in your body, and that large amount of stress within your body is what makes you more sensitive to everything.
So, you become easily offended by something that you used to consider being funny.
If you find yourself constantly daydreaming and easily annoyed by the most trivial things, you’re most likely sexually frustrated.
You have problems falling asleep
This is another common symptom of the condition called sexual frustration. Every time you go to sleep, you find yourself fidgeting in bed for several hours, contemplating different things and waiting to finally get some sleep.
Sleep deprivation caused by sexual frustration greatly influences your job performance, and spending quality time with your friends and family becomes almost impossible.
You will be unable to fall asleep because your body still feels ridiculously energetic (due to lack of sex), and it needs to get rid of that energy in order to be able to rest.
You will also have the feeling like something’s constantly bothering you, but you cannot understand what it is, and that is why you overthink everything in the hope of finding a solution for your problem.
But, all of these may just indicators of not having enough sex. With all that said, it’s quite obvious that lack of sex can influence your mental health in a bad way.
You fantasize a lot about having sex, but you’re not doing anything about it
Fantasizing about sex and having sex are two different worlds. Fantasizing a lot about steamy activities but not practicing them is another indicator of potential sexual frustration.
It means you subconsciously want it, but something prevents you from doing it.
Perhaps in your head, sex looks completely different than in reality, and that is why you’re not willing to participate in it in the first place.
This usually means you’re not satisfied with your current sexual partner or generally with your past sexual experiences.
That is why most of the time, you find yourself contemplating having sex, but you refuse to do anything about it because you don’t want to be disappointed again.
You’re not interested in solo sex as you used to be
Another sign is if you’re no longer interested in exploring your body as you were before.
The reason for this lies in your inability to enjoy stimuli due to the accumulated levels of stress within your body.
And even if you start doing something, you will not feel like you’re enjoying it.
Masturbation and solo sex become something that you would really like to do, but you simply don’t know how to do it in order to enjoy it as you used to before.
Lack of sexual satisfaction
Even if you decide to have sex, you find yourself unsatisfied after having it. The problem may lie in your partner or in you.
Also, you should consider all the signs above before jumping to a conclusion and blaming it all on your partner.
But, if you’re sure that your significant other simply doesn’t know how to satisfy your sexual needs, you shouldn’t hesitate to talk to him.
If you keep silent, the cause of this sexual condition you are experiencing will only grow bigger.
An honest heart to heart conversation is the best way to find a proper solution for it.
If you keep pretending that you’re enjoying it because you’re scared to talk to him about it, you will only make things worse and prolong the consequences of this condition.
Dealing with sexual health issues
You or your partner might have a certain type of sexual dysfunction. The term itself represents the inability to enjoy sex.
It affects both genders, but it’s slightly more characteristic for the female population than for the male.
Sexual dysfunction can be reflected through a lack of sexual desire or interest in sex, pain during penetration or intercourse, a lack of physical arousal during sexual activity, and/or an inability to climax or have an orgasm.
It is more difficult to discover that a woman is suffering from sexual dysfunction than it is for men.
The male symptoms of this occurrence are more obvious: erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation, and/or premature ejaculation.
When a woman is experiencing sexual dysfunction, the symptoms are more challenging to detect.
They will be shown in inadequate vaginal lubrication before and during sexual intercourse, vaginal muscles which might not be relaxed enough to allow intercourse and lack of orgasm.
What causes sexual dysfunction? Well, things that could cause bad side effects are birth control pills, antidepressant drugs, hormonal imbalances, and a wide variety of medical conditions, etc.
You don’t feel attractive enough
Your self-image and your confidence have a say in your sex life. Low-self esteem can literally mess up your love life.
For example, you might get self-conscious if you are on top and have a few extra pounds.
You might not feel pretty enough or desirable. You might think that you don’t have what it takes to satisfy your significant other in bed and outside of it.
What Happens When A Woman Is Sexually Frustrated?
When a woman is dealing with sexual frustration for a longer period of time, it might lead to arousal and orgasm disorders. Also, her central nervous system eventually diminishes which leaves negative consequences on her mental health.
A famous sexologist and sexual health educator, Eric M. Garrison, says; “Regardless of gender and sexuality, almost everyone will experience sexual frustration at some point in their life.”
It’s actually true because female sex hormones change frequently and lead to these kinds of issues.
So, the first thing all women should know is that it’s totally normal to feel sexually frustrated sometimes. However, it’s not a reason to neglect this condition and to do absolutely nothing about it.
As you can see, it’s not that harmless because if it’s been happening for a while, it can soon have a negative impact on all the other areas of your life.
Don’t let something you can easily overcome damage your overall health. And, of course, don’t let it destroy your sexual life.
How To Deal With Sexual Frustration?
After going through the symptoms of this issue, you might realize that you actually are a sexually frustrated person or that your significant other is.
There is no shame in that. Know that sometimes these things happen, and they are not always your fault. You probably didn’t do anything wrong.
But there are some things you can do now. You can find the best way to solve this problem and get back to having great sex with your partner again.
So, if you want to get out of this labyrinth of sexual frustration, consider doing these 8 things that will help you overcome it.
Open up to your partner
At first glance, this seems obvious, but once you find yourself in that situation, you will have a hard time finding the right words.
You don’t want to insult your partner or make them feel self-conscious.
Make sure you don’t pass the blame. It’s not your fault, and it’s not your sexual partner‘s fault.
You just have an obstacle to overcome. To get an idea of how to do just that, continue reading below, and we will help you out. Of course, if that doesn’t help you (but I’m sure it will), you should consult with a sexual health educator or try to solve it through marital therapy.
If both of you aren’t aware of your issue, there is no way you are ever going to solve it. You have to be honest with your significant other.
Boost your sex drive
A low sex drive is the most common issue when it comes to being sexually frustrated. There are many ways to boost your sex drive.
For starters, a good idea would be to try and play dirty ‘would you rather’ questions for guys and girls, send some naughty sexts, try out sex toys or different kinds of foreplay, different sex positions, and types of sex (anal or oral sex) and similar things.
Another good idea is to start eating food such as walnuts, avocados, berries, watermelon, saffron, coffee, almonds, and dark chocolate.
They are all aphrodisiacs, and they have lots of vitamins that are necessary for a healthy sex drive. Also, they can lead to improved performance in bed.
The goal isn’t just to increase the number of your sexual encounters but to improve their quality.
Do regular exercise
I think I don’t even have to mention all of the benefits regular exercise can give you.
Exercise will help you get rid of all of the negativities you may have accumulated within you, and this will reduce stress levels.
This will help you fall asleep ten times faster, and you will no longer be that easily annoyed or engaged in daydreaming instead of enjoying reality.
With time, exercise will also boost your sex drive and encourage you to have more sex in no time.
Exercise will do wonders for your sex life. As you become fit and healthy, you will be able to last longer in bed.
You will be able to have sex and do more of those Kamasutra or any other sex positions which will make the whole sexual experience ten times better.
This is one more great way of improving your sex drive. Visual stimulants are a welcome remedy, and it’s a good idea to watch porn with your partner. It will get you both in the mood and give you some new ideas.
If by any chance you have an aversion towards sex, you should also consider watching porn.
It’s a means to an end and a good method of sexual healing. Sexual activity is partially located in your thoughts, and this is a great way to trigger and stimulate your hidden desires.
Your body will instantly recognize the need for sexual intercourse, and with time, you will get more comfortable with it.
Even if you feel like you’re not that into watching it, at least give it a try, and see where it takes you.
If you’ve stopped masturbating, consider going back to doing that. Find some good porn or simply let your dirty thoughts run free, make sure that you’re in a comfortable position, and let your imagination do the rest.
Nobody can make you orgasm as well as you can yourself.
So give yourself a helping hand or use a vibrator the next time you get an urge for sex, and ease your sexual frustrations.
If you are single, maybe one-night-stands aren’t such a bad idea. They give you the opportunity to explore your sexuality without going through all the emotional mumbo jumbo.
If you are in a long-term relationship, simply initiate sex more often with your significant other.
Communicate openly about what you want and how you want it. It’s the best way to improve your sex life.
If you just started dating somebody, make sure you are ready to have sex with them.
If you fall into the category of people who are more into long-term relationships than one-night stands you won’t be comfortable, relaxed, and into sex until you feel your relationship is on safe grounds.
If you are not in an intimate relationship with your partner both sexually and emotionally, don’t force sexual contact because it will only make things worse.
Meditation is good for everyone, and it can improve your physical as well as mental abilities.
Practicing meditation will reduce stress, boost your sex drive, and make you want more sex.
It will also help you overcome some mental barriers you may have about yourself or your sexual partner.
It is a good way of starting your day and enabling your body to absorb great amounts of positive energy which will improve your entire immune system as well.
If you keep being persistent and practice all of the things on the list, I’m sure you will get rid of your sexual frustration in no time.
Consult a sex therapist
Maybe a sex educator is a better choice than your regular family therapist.
Sex therapists have specialized knowledge to get you out of this rabbit hole you have fallen into.
Don’t feel down; everything has a solution. You can also consider visiting the sex therapist with your partner rather than alone. In this way, the methods and consults will be more efficient.
Can Being Sexually Frustrated Make You Depressed?
The connection between these two terms is undeniable in some cases. Certain symptoms of depression can be manifested as secondary emotions of sexual frustration.
The fact is that any kind of frustration leads to anxiety and depression. If you don’t work on overcoming your frustrations, it just keeps getting worse and it’ll reach the culminating point at some time and damage your mental health more than you can imagine it.
It’s actually a vicious cycle. Sexual frustration leads to depression and those kinds of mental health issues directly affect your libido and lower your sexual desires.
• Feeling lonely
A person can be in a relationship and feel alone at the same time. An emotional distance is worse than a physical one.
Also, being actually away from your partner—like in the case of long-distance relationships—can be hard to handle.
In both cases, the desire is present, but it’s left unfulfilled. It creates an emptiness in a person’s heart, and the feeling of loneliness is all-consuming.
• Lacking closeness with your partner
Intimate relationships demand connection. A real physical connection is just as important as an emotional one. If that connection is broken, frustrations will arise.
Sexual activity by default increases intimacy. It is one of the most intimate ways in which people bond with each other.
Sexual frustration can obviously arise from lack of sex which is in itself a break of connection between partners. Believe me, the better your sex life is, the deeper your connection becomes.
It creates an area of uncertainty and instability which is definitely not good for a relationship—let alone for a person’s mental health.
• Feeling unwanted
A lack of connection leads to feeling unwanted. And it’s an awful feeling.
It can lead to much deeper emotional problems and mental health issues.
The person feels unattractive, undesirable, and unwanted, and there is no way in which that won’t influence their behavior and feelings of depression.
• Feeling like you aren’t good enough
This sign is the sum of all three feelings previously listed. A person who feels like they aren’t good enough feels unwanted, lonely, and totally disconnected from their significant other.
Looking at how a lack of sexual activity changes the way we feel about ourselves, it’s no wonder how someone might become depressed.
All the feelings listed above can spark symptoms of depression. Most people are social beings, craving companionship, and intimate relationships can easily be their main focus and driving force.
If sexual activity is lost, rare, or non-existent, frustration is a natural development of the given situation.
These kinds of issues aren’t something that should be taken lightly. It’s a serious, real-life problem.
Sexual deprivation can lead to much deeper emotional and physical issues.
If you address them in time, find the cause of them, and seek help, the easier it will be to fight the depression that came out as sexual frustrations.
In A Nutshell
Most sexologists agree that most people experience sexual frustration at some point in their lives, but still, it’s not something that should be neglected.
If you don’t work on solving this issue, it’ll just keep cultivating negative energy which will have a negative impact on all the other areas of your life. You won’t be able to behave or function in a normal way.
Sooner or later, all those negative feelings will come to the surface and lead to greater mental health issues.
Nurture your intimate life because it has an enormous impact on each and every other aspect of your life. Remember; more sex, less stress and frustrations!