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Learning To Love Yourself: 10 Important Steps To Unconditional Self-Love

Learning to love yourself is a vital step toward a happy relationship with your true self.

Self-love is crucial in developing and nurturing relationships with others because it all starts with you.

Self-acceptance is complex and difficult to attain.

We are all born so vastly different yet so many of us experience the same issues regarding our self-esteem, self-worth and self-care.

How many of us can truly say that we take our mental health seriously?

Self-love is not just a term you say lightly. It’s a perpetual action that propels you to release your negative emotions and self-loathing in order to take control of your own life and learn to live in the present moment.

My entire life, I’ve struggled with the idea of self-acceptance.

My self-confidence has always been shaky and my self-doubt has plagued me ever since I can remember.

But since I started engaging in self-help methods to garner much-needed self-respect, I’ve gained a lot of personal development.

Think about your best friend.

They are an important person in your life whom you love unconditionally, right?

How would it make you feel to know that their inner critic keeps making them think they’re not worthy of love and that there is zero self-compassion in their life?

I can only imagine that it would devastate you to know that there was such a dark side to your best friend and that you wouldn’t be able to fathom the idea of them not loving themself.

Now switch places with your friend.

Why would you want to inflict self-hatred on yourself when there’s so much positivity you could be surrounding yourself with?

You matter! Self-talk matters!

YOU are the most important person in the entire universe because if you don’t take care of your needs, how can you take care of somebody else’s?

Every human being has an obligation to be kind to themself.

It’s not a bad thing putting yourself first.

Self-discovery can make you grow and evolve beyond what you could ever imagine!

You must learn to love yourself unconditionally to see your true worth.

Take your mental health seriously because, without self-love, you lose the essence of your true self.

See also: What Is The Meaning Of Love? 12 Beautiful Sides To This Powerful Emotion

Learning To Love Yourself

Today, my intention is to help you gain self-acceptance through some very easy yet crucial methods and their purpose is to restore your mental health and raise your self-esteem.

We all have inner issues; nobody can escape that.

But if you ignore them for too long, they start eating away at you and making you neglect the importance of self-care.

Don’t let your self-worth diminish due to self-doubt and negative emotions that you’re keeping bottled up inside.

Let yourself feel it all, then release it and let it leave your being.

You matter so much more than what you give yourself credit for.

If only people would stop comparing and keeping score, they would see how much unnecessary harm they’re doing to themselves.

Social media is one of the main causes of self-loathing and self-hatred as it shows a very unrealistic idea of how one’s supposed to be.

One of the trickiest things is accepting that just because you may not look a certain way, you’re still worthy and important.

And here, I’m going to take you through some necessary steps to find that self-love again and never let you lose sight of it again.

Let’s help you enrich your own life and make you see that when you love yourself unconditionally, the world becomes such a beautiful place again.

All it takes is one step in the right direction and then it all starts getting easier.

With that in mind, here are the most important steps to self-love that will help you regain your self-respect and guide you toward a life full of light and acceptance of your true self.

See also: 10 Truths About Why People Talk Behind Your Back (And How To Cope)

1. You are your number one priority

Your relationship with yourself is your most important priority.

In the grand scheme of things, it may not seem so but in your world, it’s all that matters.

Your relationships with others and how you see the entire universe affect how you treat yourself.

Of all the investments in your life, you are by far the biggest one.

Your entire reality of existence depends on how well you treat yourself.

Nobody can tell you what to see, how to feel or where to end up.

It’s all up to you.

Your relationship with yourself depends on all those factors which may seem insignificant on their own but when put together, they play a large role.

This is why self-love is of the essence.

The less you’re in sync with your true self, the more frustrating your reality will be.

The less you do to keep yourself happy, the more you’ll be likely to remain miserable and jaded.

But as soon as you start practicing self-care, you’ll see how much better your relationships with others and your view of the world will become.

Your entire life is in your hands. You choose how your reality unfolds.

2. Treat yourself the way you treat your loved ones

How do you treat your family, best friends and everyone else you’re close to?

Do you give them time when they need it and space when they ask for it?

If so, why not do the same for yourself?

When your best friend is struggling, do you yell at them or do you offer advice and affection?

When your mom is being hard on herself, do you let her see herself in such a bad light or do you point out how amazing and unselfish she’s been all her life?

Do the same for yourself.

When you’re having a bad week, don’t berate yourself. Practice self-love.

You’ve stumbled upon an obstacle so give yourself time to overcome it.

When you feel particularly bad about yourself, remind yourself of all your accomplishments so far. Self-acceptance is key.

Negative emotions will always creep into your conscience but the trick is to discard them by thinking of all the things you’ve done right.

Think about how you’d console your favorite person on their worst day and simply do the same for yourself!

See also: Fake Friends Vs. Real Friends: 12 Ways To Spot The Fakers

3. Embrace the pain

We all have a dark side.

We’re all plagued by self-loathing and self-hatred from time to time.

Anyone who claims their life is perfect is lying to themselves.

By embracing the pain, you are letting yourself go through things that will ultimately make a dent in who you are as a person.

Never deny yourself that.

If the pain is there, feel it, express it, cry about it.

But ultimately, let it go.

Embracing the pain means acknowledging that it’s there but not letting it devour you.

It means being in tune with your inner self but not to the point of self-destruction.

Pain is part of life. Nobody can avoid it, as much as they try to.

Let yourself be hurt but ultimately forgive yourself for all the times you erred.

Relieve yourself of the self-inflicted pain and move on with a clean slate.

Negative emotions are part of the human experience.

Denying them means denying yourself to be real.

To love yourself unconditionally means to accept your flaws and love yourself regardless.

4. Engage in self-discovery

Think about your life story from the first memory of yourself to today.

How has your journey evolved?

How have you as a person changed and matured since a particular moment in your past?

When you engage in self-discovery, you start realizing so many truths you were completely unaware of.

You start seeing the immense growth you’ve experienced throughout the years.

You see how much more patient you’ve become.

And all that went completely under the radar because of your tendency to doubt yourself every chance you have.

By living in the past, you were oblivious to major changes occurring in your present.

Live in the present moment.

See how much you’ve changed for the better and reflect on that for a bit.

Be proud of the person you’ve become and stay curious about all the things that still await!

Personal development is evident only when you discard self-doubt and replace it with self-care.

Love yourself for the person you’ve become and cherish yourself for everything you’ve managed to heal from despite all the odds.

See also: How To Start Dating Again: 15 Tips To Get Back In The Game

5. Share your truth with your people

Surrounding yourself with the people who will lift you up and hold you there is all one needs to reach the stars some days.

It’s really that simple. Find your tribe, then share your truth and life with them.

Don’t let yourself feel everything alone.  People need people.

Human beings aren’t born to be alone. We’re born to love and be loved.

Find yourself by finding your people and then sharing your journey with them.

There’s nothing quite like finding a like-minded person who’s on your wavelength.

Those people make you see the true beauty in life. Those people make you love yourself more than you thought possible.

If you’ve found somebody like this, stick to them.

They will be your guiding light when your path starts getting dark.

Have faith that God will bless you with the right person and open your heart to them.

The path to self-love is hard to walk without a loyal hand firmly holding yours and shining the light when you get lost on the way.

6. Don’t believe everything you think

You are your own worst critic. We all are.

So when your negative thoughts consume you, tell yourself that just because they’re there, it doesn’t mean they’re true!

Don’t believe every single thing that comes creeping into your head. Thoughts are just thoughts.

Letting your own mind cripple you is unacceptable.

We all create a coping mechanism in our head that often manifests in an abundance of inaccurate realities that are there to protect us from the pain.

But the funny thing is, that’s causing you more pain than facing the actual reality ever would! Get out of your own head.

Choose to silence your inner critic and face reality, as harsh as it may be.

It’s better to be hurt by actual facts than to be causing yourself pain by negative thoughts that aren’t true.

You can’t change your thoughts but you can change how you let them affect you.

See also: My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me: What To Do Next?

7. Go after what you want in life

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this but to be happy, you must follow your passions and dreams!

And before you say that it’s easier said than done, let me tell you another thing. It really isn’t!

Your dreams always feel so far away and unattainable until you reach them!

Your passions feel so out of your reach until they become your reality! I promise you, good things happen more often than you believe.

Love yourself enough to go after what makes you happy! You won’t believe how little it takes to see what you’re capable of.

You’ll never know until you try it! Instead of making excuses, go and make it happen.

It feels impossible until you start doing it and then you can’t believe what took you so long.

Fulfilling your dreams is part of self-care.  Let yourself be happy.

Acknowledge your self-worth! Go after what you want and prove to yourself how capable and strong you really are.

There’s nothing that says self-love more than doing what you’ve always dreamed of, knowing you got there all by yourself.

8. Be thankful for what you have

Remind yourself of all the good things you’ve got going on in life.

Let’s start with the people. Thank the Lord for keeping your family alive, healthy and happy.

Give thanks to your best friend who makes your life a thousand times better.

Ask yourself where you’d be without your siblings and their undying support no matter what.

Doesn’t this make you see how much you’ve truly got in life? If you can love all those people, you can damn well love yourself.

Think about how sad it would make your mom see the amount of self-hatred you inflict on yourself.

Think about how much it would break your dad’s heart to see you let negative emotions get the better of you.

Those people love you unconditionally. Be thankful for that and show them you are capable of being kind to yourself.

If not for you, do it for them. And hopefully, with time, you’ll start treating yourself the way you treat them because it will simply feel right.

See also: Inner Beauty: What It Actually Means And 7 Ways To Attain It

9. Leave your comfort zone

Nothing ever grows there, as I’m sure you’ve already heard.

It’s time to switch things up and do something that feels daunting.

When you successfully accomplish something you’ve been dreading to try for so long, your self-esteem will go through the roof! And that will propel you to keep pushing your boundaries.

All it takes is just one step. One tiny decision and it will all start coming together.

Soon, you’ll start seeing all the things you’ve been missing out on.

You’ll start wondering what took you so long to try something that sets your soul on fire.

The fear of the unknown is your biggest enemy but once you overcome it, the sky is your limit.

Go out into the world and reach for what feels impossible.

Leave your comfort zone with the old you and find your true self with the new you on the path of self-discovery.

10. Live in the present moment


Yesterday is gone and who knows what tomorrow may bring. All you’ve got is right now so use it to the best of your ability!

Sometimes, people get so preoccupied with the future that they forget about the present. We keep dwelling on the past when it doesn’t have anything to do with our present.

However, when you shift your focus on to your actual reality, the moment you’re in right now, you are giving yourself a much-needed break from the crippling fear of the unknown.

The past is here to learn from and the future is yet to come.

Today is all you have. Be thankful for an opportunity to live through yet another day and try to use it wisely.

Do something that makes you happy, tell someone that you love them and practice self-care by going to a spa.

Seize the day! You never know what tomorrow has planned for you.

And that is why living in the moment is your best bet for a life full of self-love and happiness.

Once you start seeing that worrying about the things that are gone is pointless, you open your mind to a whole new future, full of endless possibilities.

Now is the time to take your life into your hands and start living every day like it’s your last one. Because one of these days, it really will be.

See also: 10 Warning Red Flags Of Power Struggle In Relationships