When you are raised by a shitty father, you learn to take care of yourself. You don’t wait for people to help you to solve your problems but you do that on your own.
And you don’t do that because you want to but because you have to. Because no matter whether you want to or not, there is nobody around to protect you and to take care of you. You need to do it all by yourself.
When you are raised by a shitty father, you stop believing in love. You don’t think anyone could love you since the closest member of your family didn’t love you. He didn’t fight for you.
He was never there for you, to tell you how proud he is for everything that you accomplished. So you don’t understand how someone else, a total stranger, could embrace you and love you to infinity just the way you are.
When you are raised by a shitty father, you learn to set boundaries. You will not put up with any shit from the people around you, even if they are just having a bad day.
You will cut off every problem with people as soon as they pop up and even if you will sometimes be rough with them, you won’t feel bad about it.
Because that is the only way you can function. That is your defense mechanism and you don’t know any better. That is the real you.
When you are raised by a shitty father, you will miss love your whole life. And no matter how many people come and give you all they have got, there will still be a hole in your heart, waiting for someone special to come and fill it.
There will be a void but unfortunately it will never be completely filled. You will always miss your father’s love and affection and you will carry that sorrow with you your whole life.
When you are raised by a shitty father, you will be convinced that you don’t deserve love. Because if your father couldn’t love you, then something is wrong with you.
And you will have low self-esteem your entire life, thinking it was all your fault. You will believe you are a failure and that because of this, even your father couldn’t accept you the way you are.
When you are raised by a shitty father, you have a different outlook on life. You see things just the way they are and not the way you want them to be.
You don’t daydream but you stick to what you can do with your own two hands. You never ask for help from anyone and you learn to stand up for yourself.
When you are raised by a shitty father, you learn how to be strong and independent. You don’t ask for anyone’s help and you handle your problems by yourself.
You are your own best friend because you struggle to trust people. You don’t want anyone you have to rely on because you do that for yourself the best. You are your own rock and you don’t need anyone to save you.
When you are raised by a shitty father, you learn that life is not easy. And because of that, you decide to be as strong as you can. You get everything that you want in a fair way and you never beg anyone to help you.
You surround yourself with positive people because one toxic man was enough for your whole life.
When you are raised by a shitty father, you try so hard to be as different as you can to him. You even change the way you take a drink just so someone won’t say you are like your dad. You change from the root, with all your power, so people won’t see how much alike you are.
When you have a shitty father, you do everything in your power to the best version of yourself. Not because you want to but because you wish for your children to never have to go through everything you went through.
You don’t want to be anything similar to the one who created you and abandoned you. You want to be more than that.
You don’t want to be someone your kids would be ashamed of but rather a person they will be proud of.
Christine is the author of ‘Staring Into The Eyes Of Anxiety And Depression’, a book that will change the way you fight anxiety and depression.