So, you’re about to go out with the girl you’re crazy about and you have no idea how to behave or what to talk about on your first date. Or you’ve been on lots of first dates already and somehow you’ve managed to ruin every single one of them.
No worries, it’s not your fault. It’s totally normal to screw things up from time to time because we’re only human, aren’t we? It doesn’t matter if you’ve made mistakes before, what does matter is that you are willing to not repeat them anymore.
So, I assume that you want to be sure of making a great first impression and you want to be prepared so that she doesn’t see you confused or that you’re just wasting her time. And you’re absolutely right!
But the first thing that you need to do is relax. You don’t want to appear visibly nervous, fidgeting all the time. If you do this, she will see you as someone who lacks confidence and this is a huge turn-off.
So, first make sure that you’re totally chill about your first date (as much as you can be) and then you can think about other things. Just remember, whatever you do or say, do it with a lot of confidence and she will not even notice if you make a mistake.
And that’s the beauty of being confident. Even if you’re not sure if she will like what you’re doing or saying at that moment, you don’t have to worry if you’re confident about it. Use this as your ace up your sleeve and you’ll be more than ready to rock that first date and get a girlfriend.
So, pay attention to the following list of first date advice and I assure you that she will never question going on a second date with you.
The ultimate list of first date advice for men
1. Keep touching to a minimum
When it comes to the first date, remember that rule number one is to keep touching to a minimum. I know you want to show her affection but touching her or forcing her to kiss you will not bring anything good to you.
If you don’t give her space, she will feel trapped, get scared and you’ll never hear from her again. Your first date will be your last date with her. This doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to hold her hand or touch her to show a friendly gesture.
The thing you should avoid is sexual touch.
Avoid any kind of sexual touch because you don’t want to scare her off. Instead, you want her to feel really special spending time with you and you want her to be relaxed and comfortable in your company.
There’s nothing worse than acting like a real gentleman the whole date and then screwing things up at the end of the night when you start touching her and not letting her breathe. Remember this and you’ll be good.
2. Don’t be silent
There’s nothing worse than a guy who has initiated a date in the first place only to remain silent. It’s one thing not to be sure about what to talk about but it’s completely different to refuse to say a word and let her do all the talking.
If you stay silent, she will not think that you’re playing hard to get with her. She will think that you don’t want to open up to her or that you have some emotional issues with yourself.
Also, she will think that you’re not interested in talking to her and she will be confused, wondering why you even invited her in the first place. I’m sure you have some interesting things going on in your life and you should never be scared of talking about them.
Silence is the silent killer of a potential romance, another date and her affection toward you. So, make sure to speak up and she will see how confident and eloquent you are.
3. Don’t be cheap
By being cheap, I mean limiting her choice of food when you’re in a restaurant or somewhere else where you take her on a date. Limiting her money-wise when ordering a dessert or similar is a true act of disrespect toward her and you don’t want to give her a bad impression of yourself.
If you’re not that well-off financially, think of some other activities that may save you some money but not influence the quality of time spent with her. Think forward and plan your date in accordance with your budget to avoid any unnecessary or awkward situations.
4. Listen to her
Please, just listen to her and don’t even try to dominate the conversation because that will cause some irreparable damage. On the first date, you don’t want to appear too quiet or too dominating either.
You need to find a balance, where you are listening to her and asking her questions so that she gets the feeling that you’re as engaged in the conversation as much as she is. Women loved to be listened to and once you realize this, you will be unstoppable (trust me on this one).
Also, when you’re not sure of what to say, it is always better to remain silent than to take risks and make a fool out of yourself. The best advice I can give you is if you need to think twice about something you want to say, don’t say it. Period.
5. Don’t drink too much
If there’s one thing that you would want to avoid at all costs is drinking too much alcohol. It’s okay to have a glass or two, or maybe three, but it is completely another thing to not be able to get up from your chair without her help.
I understand that you’re nervous about your first date with her but that is not a valid excuse to knock yourself out with excessive drinking. That way, you’ll appear selfish and less confident (and you don’t want that for sure).
You don’t want to make her feel like she needs to fight for your attention.
When you drink too much, you start babbling the most unnecessary things one could talk about and because of that, she may feel alienated. So, please, don’t drink too much and you will appear like someone who knows how to control himself.
There’s nothing sexier than a man who knows how to control himself because that means he’s in control of his emotions as well and that’s a great thing to have. Be in control of the situation and you will rock your first date like a boss.
6. Don’t talk about your past relationships
The golden rule goes like this: Don’t ever, ever talk about your past relationships on your first date unless she asks you about them.
Talking about your past relationships is completely unnecessary because you don’t want to bring up the details of your past to someone you barely know yet. It’s rude and it’s disrespectful.
And if you had some issues in your past relationship, you don’t want her to be your counselor because she is not. She’s your date and you have to act like that.
And even if she asks you about your past and you’re not sure of what to say, you can always say that you would rather skip that theme and leave it for some other time and I’m sure she will understand.
Furthermore, if you decide to share with her your past relationships and all of the details, make sure that you’re talking about them in a positive manner. Don’t make a scene out of it because it will ruin your dating atmosphere and your date will turn into a discussion about your past relationships.
7. Be a gentleman
If you don’t see yourself as a gentleman, you should start practicing it today. Being a gentleman will bring you enormous benefits regarding dating and once you master it, you will own the whole concept of dating. You will be the king of dating and you will learn the art of getting a girlfriend for sure.
Now, what does it mean to be a gentleman? Well, it means opening the door for her, showing up on time, listening to her, respecting her and the people around you, making sure that she’s feeling comfortable and protecting her. You see, being a gentleman encompasses many things and not just opening the door.
Today, gentlemen are considered to be an endangered species and if you show her that you’re one of them, she will fall for you within seconds. There is nothing more attractive than a man who knows how to behave and who is confident in his actions.
8. Don’t curse
If you’re used to cursing a lot when hanging out with your buddies, you will have some serious issues on your first date (and I’m not even exaggerating). Train yourself a few days before a date to at least reduce the number of F-bombs and other curse words.
If you’re wondering why you should do so, the reason is simple; women don’t feel comfortable around guys who curse (a lot). It makes them feel uneasy and if she’s feeling uneasy, be sure that she will not be relaxed.
And if she’s not relaxed, you can consider your first date a fail. Also, cursing is an indicator of a lack of vocabulary and you certainly don’t want to appear illiterate in front of someone you’re crazy about. Meditate or visit some pages on the Internet regarding how to stop cursing and you’ll be just fine.
9. Be humble
This one is closely related to being a gentleman but it’s good to look back on the things already said. The whole wisdom about being humble is to stay away from bragging about yourself.
This includes your job, your family, your friends, your achievements and everything else that can be linked to bragging. You don’t want her to get the impression of you being full of yourself and only waiting for an occasion to amaze her with your skills.
Staying humble means being a person with a big heart. It means you’re satisfied with your life and you don’t feel like you need to show it off to others. It is a treat of a real gentleman with a great personality.
10. Leave some things unsaid
I know you want to tell her everything about yourself. You want her to know how many miles you can run without stopping, you want her to know how good you are at your job, you want her to know your likes and dislikes.
You even want her to know how many beers you can drink in an hour. And that’s totally normal. You want to amaze her and show her that you’re the right guy for her but, please, don’t do that.
Leaving some things unsaid is always the better choice than suffocating her with excessive preaching about your life.
After all, if you tell her everything about yourself, you won’t be interesting anymore. You will turn your first date into a real boring one and you don’t want to do that. You want to give her everything bit by bit and make her beg for more.