“Nobody cares about what you have to say.”
“That never happened. You must have imagined it.”
“You are overreacting.”
Do these sentences sound familiar to you?
Dealing with a narcissistic mother is more than just putting up with her demanding and controlling behavior. Narcissistic mothers often say hurtful things that negatively affect your self-worth and undermine your self-esteem.
WHY do they do that?
To be in control and to take over every aspect of your life. They say hurtful things to make you question your worth and to make you feel like you don’t deserve better treatment.
Narcissistic mothers say hurtful things to you because:
EVERYTHING REVOLVES AROUND THEM.
In the world of a narcissist, the only thing that matters to them is their ego. They are convinced that their children are nothing without them:
1. “Are you trying to embarrass me here?”
2. “You’re such a bad child.”
3. “You’re so spoiled. You only think about yourself.”
4. “If I hadn’t been so busy raising you, I would have had a career.”
5. “You are my biggest mistake.”
6. “I can’t believe I wasted my whole life on you.”
7. “Do you know what? You are the most ungrateful child I have ever met.”
8. “I try so hard to put your happiness first, and I get this in return.”
9. “You only did this to hurt my feelings.”
10. “I gave up my life to give you a better one, and you do nothing for me in return.”
11. “You have ruined my life.”
12. “You should be ashamed of yourself.”
13. “I sacrificed so much for you!”
THEY DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS.
Narcissistic mothers are so skillful when it comes to playing the blame game. They enjoy criticizing their children and playing the victim. They don’t care about hurting their children’s feelings because the only thing they care about is “protecting themselves”:
14. “You are so ungrateful. You never appreciate anything I’ve done for you.”
15. “Why do you always have to make a big deal out of everything?”
16. “You should try being more like your brother/sister.”
17. “You’re so selfish. You never care about my feelings.”
18. “Maybe you should try losing a few pounds.”
19. “You don’t deserve to be happy.”
20. “You only think about yourself.”
21. “It’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.”
22. “You always look for attention.”
23. “I don’t understand what he sees in you.”
24. “You should take a lesson from your brother/sister because she never disappoints me.”
25. “You knew I didn’t like it, but you still did it to hurt my feelings.”
26. “You sound like a little girl.”
EVERYTHING MUST BE DONE THEIR WAY.
Everything you do is WRONG.
Everything your narcissistic mother does is RIGHT.
No matter what you say or do, it will eventually be used against you. Narcissistic mothers don’t care about your preferences, needs, and rights. They say hurtful things to maintain control over you:
27. “You should never wear this dress; it makes you look fat.”
28. “If you don’t stop crying, I’ll give you something to cry about.”
29. “I’m smarter than you, so you should listen to me.”
30. “If you ever do that, you are not my daughter/son.”
31. “You always take it the wrong way.”
32. “Do this now or you’ll never do it.”
33. “You can’t go there.”
34. “I know what’s best for you.”
35. “You can’t wear that because I said so.”
36. “You know I know more about this than you.”
37. “If you listened to me, you wouldn’t be in this situation.”
38. “If you wear that T-shirt, I’ll be angry.”
THEY ARE MASTER MANIPULATORS.
Gaslighting, blaming, controlling, and shaming are the most common manipulation tactics used by narcissists. Narcissistic mothers are master manipulators. They know all your triggers and they know how to make you feel confused and miserable:
39. “Don’t make a scene.”
40. “That never happened. You must have imagined it.”41. “Get over it.”
42. “You have a toxic personality and you simply can’t do anything right.”
43. “Why are you being so dramatic?”
44. “You’re being too sensitive.”
45. “You’ll be sorry for it when I’m gone.”
46. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
47. “I wish I had a son/daughter who I could depend on.”
48. “You are overreacting.”
49. “It’s all your fault!”
50. “No one will ever love you with that attitude.”
If the majority of these sentences resonate with you, don’t hesitate to seek help from your close people and mental health professionals. It’s never too late to start the healing process!