One of my favorite sayings that help me stay positive while walking through this journey in life is “Whatever is meant to happen will happen, and if it’s not, it won’t”. I believe this to be true.
I don’t see a point in trying to force anything to happen anymore. I know that whatever is for me will come to me, and I won’t have to force nor chase after it constantly. If God wants me to have something or do anything, he’ll place it on my path or in my heart. Whether that’s a plan or a person, you can’t force what you don’t have any control over.
I knew this guy who once had a strong hold over me. I never understood why or what it was about him, but it was so crazy to me. No matter what he did, I just couldn’t stay mad at him or get him out of my head. When we were together, he always made me feel so special. He was everything I wanted him to be. He was slick with his words; I mean everything this man said to me was so smooth. He could literally get anything he wanted from me, and my naive mind just fell for it all.
From the very beginning, I could feel deep down in my spirit something just wasn’t right, but of course, I allowed my emotions to overpower my mind.
Everything was always perfect when we were physically together or at least it seemed to be, but as soon as we left each other, that was it. If I received a text from him, I’d be lucky if he even continued the conversation. I would get ignored for hours and even days. He had me conflicted in my spirit, and I found myself overthinking more than usual. So, after so many signs and warnings from God, I finally decided to cut him off.
It wasn’t easy, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I was constantly checking his page or checking to see if I had any notifications from him. It became so exhausting to the point where I was annoyed. All I wanted was peace.
Sadly, I gave in. I texted him, just to check up on him…really to see if he missed me. Next thing I knew we had plans to see each other. Gosh… here I went again, self-sabotage.
At this point, I knew this man wasn’t any good for me, but I let my fleshly desires get the best of me. We hung out that day, and again, everything “felt good”, but after that I told myself that this was it, no more going back. I just needed to get him out of my system. Now what sense does that make? Going back to see the person to get them out of your head…lol
It came down to me having to decide if I was going to keep the door open for this man to continue to treat me worse than what I KNEW I deserved or I was going to choose myself, my peace, and most importantly, obeying God. If I would’ve chosen option number one, I would still have been stuck in that same unending cycle.
Walking away from that situation really opened my eyes to how bad it truly was. Your feelings will sometimes have you blind to reality.
I’m honestly disgusted by how I let a man use me and walk all over me like that. All for what? A temporary feeling? It wasn’t worth it. All that I was doing for him and still not getting any type of appreciation really hurt me.
It’s okay though. Having a good heart sucks sometimes, but I had to learn my lesson and accept the fact that he just wasn’t for me. God has better in store for me. I couldn’t force him to see my worth, especially when I didn’t even see it myself.
We tend to hold on to the very things that are destroying us when God is telling us to let go. You’ll receive freedom and so much more than you desire if you just learn to let go and say no to the things that weigh you down.
Know your worth, ladies. Don’t settle. God has set apart someone specifically for you. He’s just asking you to have patience and have faith in Him. The one He has for you won’t have you confused or have you feeling bad. You won’t have to try so hard or chase after this man. The right one will come to you. A man is supposed to find his wife, and when he does, he will do everything in his power to keep her. A man sent from God is always worth the wait.
In the meantime, learn to love yourself, by yourself. Yes, I know it gets lonely sometimes; trust me, I understand, but that’s not a reason to settle. Remember, time by yourself is always better than time wasted with bad company.
You are a virtuous woman.
by Shanequa Fleming
