For as long as you can remember, you’ve been trapped in the same toxic relationship patterns.
You don’t even know why, but somehow it’s always ended the same with all the men you ever dated.
You meet a guy and at first, everything seems to be going great.
However, soon enough you see that he is emotionally unavailable for some reason.
You see that his heart is injured, that he is broken, and that he needs healing.
Maybe he’s had a painful experience from his last relationships, maybe he’s had a traumatic childhood.
Or perhaps he just likes to pretend to be this tough guy who refuses to open up and show emotions.
Maybe he is dealing with an addiction. Perhaps he’s stuck in a rough patch and can’t seem to move his life from a dead spot.
Either way, you always get trapped with men who need your help with something.
Of course, most girls would run for their lives the moment they realize this.
Or they’d give these men some time to get their shit together but would stay away from their healing process.
But not you. You wouldn’t leave a man in trouble, would you now?
So, instead of losing interest, you fall for this guy even harder.
You see him as your big project and you decide to put all your strength into helping him be better.
At the same time, you see yourself as some kind of a superwoman.
You convince yourself that you are the only one who has what it takes to save him.
After all, you can’t leave this guy hanging, can you? He is a lost soul and has no one to give him a hand but you.
So, you make it your job to pull him out of his darkness. You make it your mission to bring him to the light and put his life in order.
Ever since you can remember, it’s been like this.
It’s like you’re a magnet for broken men who need repairing.
However, what’s in it for you? You constantly give and give without receiving anything in return.
Of course, all of this drains you. It impacts your mental health and it leaves you tired and exhausted.
Besides, there is no possibility to have a healthy relationship in these kinds of conditions.
You can’t focus on building a romance since you’re too busy trying to cure your partner.
Instead of being this dude’s girlfriend, you become everything else: his counselor, guide, parent, advisor, therapist…
Well, let me tell you one thing: it’s not your job to repair broken men.
It’s not your job to raise them, heal their traumas, or turn them into better people.
It’s not your duty to carry the weight of their emotional baggage on your shoulders.
It’s not your mission to save them or guide them through life.
You’re not the one responsible for their problems, so you shouldn’t be the one solving them either.
Besides, you couldn’t do it even if you wanted to. Remember: You can’t save a man who doesn’t want to be saved.
You can’t show him the way if he doesn’t want to see it. You can’t open his heart to love if he’s the one who decided to shut it off.
You can’t glue his broken pieces back together nor can you change the essence of who he is.
Most importantly, you can’t make anyone happy if they don’t feel that way with or without you.
After all, most of these guys are not even emotionally damaged – they’re just assholes who take advantage of your caring heart.
So please, stop doing all of this. Realize that you’re only hurting yourself while you’re actually not helping them in any way.
Remember: It’s not selfish to put yourself first. It’s not selfish to walk away from the ones who can’t give you what you need and deserve.
Instead of wasting all of your time on parenting immature boys who don’t have a clue what they want from life, focus on making yourself feel better.
Instead of putting all of your energy into healing them, focus on finding a real man who can go shoulder by shoulder with you through life.
Wait for a man who won’t magically solve your problems but who won’t expect you to fix his either.
A man who will reciprocate the effort you’re giving him and who won’t just use you until he doesn’t need you anymore.
