He won’t leave me alone. You’ve just read one of the most tiring and confusing sentences in the world. Let me explain to you why.
The two of you broke up and suddenly he’s been calling you on a regular basis, sending you gifts and trying to talk to you desperately.
Or perhaps he was the one who initiated the breakup in the first place and now he’s finding excuses only to get closer to you.
Why do guys do this? Why do they find it so hard to leave you alone when you’re finally good without them?
Maybe this was a rhetorical question. Most of the time they won’t leave you alone because they see you’re good without them. And men are really sensitive when it comes to this.
They cannot get over the fact that you don’t NEED them and you can be happy without them.
They want to feel wanted and sometimes they choose to torment you only out of spite and jealousy (especially if they hear that you’ve been seeing someone).
They turn into jelly psychos who lose control over themselves. And that is when they cross the border. But, there is also another side to this.
Does He Still Have Feelings For You?
Some guys don’t want to leave you alone because they still have feelings for you. Or they’re disappointed in someone else and now they’ve realized that you were the right choice for them all this time.
This is really hard to accept and you have every right to be mad at him.
No one deserves to be a second choice and you should never give him the satisfaction of letting him into your life again if you’re not 100% sure that he’s changed.
Only then and exclusively then you can consider the option of giving him a second chance. If he’s texting you constantly, pay attention to his texting style.
Do you think that he might have changed in the meantime? Do you feel that he really misses you and wants you back?
Also, if you’re seeing him, pay attention to his body language and always read between the lines and this will help you find the real reason why he won’t leave you alone.
What Does It Mean When A Guy Won’t Leave You Alone?
If a guy won’t leave you alone, it could mean that he’s bored or lonely, he feels guilty, he knows you’ll give him a second chance, or he’s emotionally manipulating you. There are lots of other reasons why a guy won’t leave you alone and we’ll cover all of them below.
However, the reasons why he’s acting like this also depend on the type of relationship you had with him and who initiated the breakup (if you broke up).
Perhaps he initiated the breakup and now he realized that he shouldn’t have done that. Or you broke up with him and now he’s begging you to give him a second chance.
Sometimes, guys won’t leave you alone because they want to play mind games with you. Other times, they genuinely still have feelings for you and they wish to reunite with you.
I hope the following reasons why he won’t leave you alone will help you understand what exactly is going on inside his head.
He Won’t Leave Me Alone: 10 Possible Reasons Why
He is lonely
Why won’t he leave me alone? Well, guys sometimes decide to haunt you only because they feel lonely.
They have been sharing everything with you when the two of you were together, and now they find it hard to change their routine.
They become lonely and the first thing that comes to their mind is stalking you on social media, texting, or calling you. He mistakes the feeling of loneliness with affection.
He starts thinking that maybe he’s made a mistake for letting you go. He doesn’t understand that this is just a phase that he needs to go through in order to recover from a breakup.
He wants sex
Another reason why he’s not leaving you alone is because he wants to have sex with you.
Perhaps your sex was still great even though the two of you have lost yourselves somehow and that is why the desire for sex remains present.
Now you think if he’s only into sex, why he didn’t choose someone else instead of you. And you’re right about it.
He could have chosen to have sex with someone else, but evidently, he wants you. And if you accept him back, know that nothing will change, yet you will become just friends with benefits.
He is bored
He won’t leave me alone. Is he bored, lonely, or genuinely misses me?
Sometimes there’s not a specific reason for his behavior and his excessive calls and texts you receive on a daily basis are only the result of his boredom.
I know it’s hard to understand this, but guys sometimes go crazy (especially if they have nothing specific to do; no hobbies, job, or any other kind of entertainment).
He will do this also if he sees you on social networks having fun without him. Because of that, he will feel even more bored and this will be a trigger for him to contact you.
He will send you flirty texts only to piss you off because that is the only source of entertainment for him. And if you get mad, that is when he prepares popcorn and enjoys watching you go crazy.
He knows you’ll give him a second chance
Do you have boundaries? Have you had boundaries while the two of you were together? If he knows that you’re too nice, he won’t leave you alone that easily.
He will try to get a second chance from you just because he’s sure that you’ll fall for his nice words and whatever he decides to sell you.
To avoid this, tell him strictly how you feel about it and if you don’t want him in your life anymore, let him know.
Repeat it a few more times if needed and I’m sure he will understand your message. Don’t give him a second chance just because he knows he can get it. Let him fight hard to earn it.
He misses you
He won’t leave me alone. Does that mean he truly misses me?
Sometimes he’s simply unable to leave you alone because he genuinely misses you. He spends a good amount of time thinking about you, your first date and trying to figure out how your romantic relationship ended.
He misses the way you smiled, your kiss and even your little fights. If your things and gifts are still at his place, this will make him miss you even more.
When we’re attached to someone, every single thing that used to belong to them will remind us of them.
It’s really hard to get rid of this feeling and no matter how hard he tries fighting the urge to text you, he’ll simply lose it every time.
The most critical time is at night and if he texts you every night how much he misses you and cannot fall asleep without you, know that it is true.
This guy genuinely misses you and you might consider giving him a second chance.
He feels guilty
If he’s the one who initiated the breakup and now he’s constantly trying to reach you and subtly apologizing to you, it is an ultimate sign of guilt. A lot of people go through that when they make a hasty decision to end a relationship.
He finds it hard to live with a guilty conscience and he’ll do anything for you to forgive him. This doesn’t have to necessarily mean that he wants to reunite with you.
He might just want to get rid of the feeling of being guilty and that is why he needs your approval that you’ve forgiven him so that he can continue with his life.
But, if you’re not ready to forgive him, don’t force yourself only to make him feel better. Instead, ignore his texts and calls if necessary and contact him when you feel ready.
He is jealous
This is one of the most common reasons why guys don’t want to leave you alone even though you’re finally happy without them.
He simply cannot accept the fact that you’re having the time of your life while he’s rotting inside and waiting for you to notice him.
This feeling overwhelms him and he instantly becomes jealous of doing things he never thought of doing.
He starts texting you, calling you, and even following you around. He becomes lost and your ignoring him will only make it worse.
When I got out of a long-term relationship last year, he didn’t stop messaging me. Every single day I received around one fifty text messages (and I’m not even exaggerating).
If you suspect that he’s just being jealous, tell him openly what you think about it and let him know that you will not tolerate this type of behavior in the future. I did the same thing and it worked.
He’s become psycho
This one represents a serious condition and you should never take it for granted.
If he’s constantly texting you, calling you, stalking you, sending you gifts, begging you and even threatens that he will commit suicide if you don’t come back to him, he’s become psycho.
When we’re in love, our brain produces chemicals that are similar to those when being on drugs. These chemicals create an intense attraction and you feel like you can’t live without that person.
And some people find it hard to leave you alone because they are in a way still addicted to you.
If he’s being all nice and all of a sudden shifts to some unknown aggressive form, he has some real issues and you should be careful how you talk to him.
My friend’s ex-boyfriend was an abuser. He threatened her male co-workers and did lots of bad things to her. Needless to say that he turned into a legit sicko. In the end, she had to get a restraining order.
If you’re dealing with narcissists, psychos, or other types of toxic people, always ask for help and support from your best friends and family. Also, try not to panic when you’re around him.
He’s manipulating you
Sometimes he doesn’t want to leave you alone because he wants to play some mind games with you.
He wants to lure you into his world again only to tell you that he doesn’t want you anymore. Guys will do this when their ego is being hurt and especially if you’re the one who initiated the breakup.
He will be all nice and sweet only to prove to you that he has changed, but believe me, he isn’t. If you notice that he’s acting all nice all of a sudden and that he might be faking it, consider it a huge red flag.
His main interest is to boost his ego and prove to the world that he’s capable of winning you again even though he doesn’t have intentions to keep you.
You’ll know this is the reason if you start thinking: No matter what I do, he won’t leave me alone. He won’t leave you alone until he’s satisfied his manipulative nature.
He’s indecisive
He won’t leave me alone. Here’s another reason why. There are also some guys who become indecisive and cannot decide whether they want to reunite with you or leave you alone.
That is why he simply cannot stop contacting you and he will always try to initiate conversations even if you’ve specifically told him that you’re not interested in any kind of communication with him.
When you’re indecisive, you have no idea what you’re doing and because of that, he’ll seem like he’s contradicting himself all the time by sending you mixed signals.
For example, he might tell you how much he misses you and then pull back for some time, come back again and so on.
He might tell you how much he desires you and after a few minutes text the same thing to 20 other girls he found on Tinder.
If he keeps doing this, give him an ultimatum and tell him that you’ll block his every contact until he comes to his senses.
What Do You Do When A Guy Won’t Leave You Alone?
When a guy won’t leave you alone, you can ask him to stop contacting or stalking you, block him on social media, or you can get outside help.
Here are a few things you can do when he doesn’t want to leave you alone:
Ask him to stop doing whatever he’s doing
Be direct. Tell him to stop texting you, following you, or whatever he’s doing at the moment. You can do this face-to-face or simply text him.
Don’t try to be too nice because he might not take you seriously. Be concise, direct, and let him know that you won’t tolerate such behavior any longer.
Keep a record of harassing messages or incidents
If he’s sending you harassing messages or disturbing you in any other way, keep a log of all these incidents.
You can take a screenshot of harassing messages and you can write the date, time, location, and other details regarding incidents (if there were and if there will be any). Describe everything in detail.
Providing evidence is one of the most important things when it comes to developing safety strategies.
Shorten or stop your communications
First, you can try to shorten your communications. When he sends you a novel-length text, you can send a one-word reply or something longer (but no longer than a few words).
The first step is to subtly let him know that you’re not interested in communicating with him. If this doesn’t work, then stop your communications to see if he will be persistent or he’ll stop contacting you.
Unfriend or block him
If he doesn’t stop contacting you even though you let him know that you don’t want to communicate with him any longer, then unfriend him and/or block him.
However, keep in mind that cutting all communication might turn him into a stalker or he might start contacting your close friends, threatening you, and similar.
At this point, we’re talking about a possible psycho in disguise, so beware.
Get outside help
Talk to someone you can trust about all this. They might know someone who has gone through the same or maybe they were the ones who experienced this before.
If your case is severe and you’re worried about your safety, then consider police involvement and other legal interventions.
A few years ago, I remember telling my best friend something like I told him to leave me alone but he won’t. No matter what I do, he always finds a way to get closer to me.
She told me to tell him that I’ve talked to the police only to see how he’ll react. To my amazement, he instantly withdrew and hasn’t contacted me ever since
What Do You Do When A Man Won’t Commit But Won’t Let You Go?
When a man won’t commit but won’t let you go, you need to let him know that you won’t wait forever. Once he realizes that, he’ll either try to win you back and commit to you or he will pull away. If he does the former, then you know he genuinely cares about you.
Here’s exactly what you need to do:
Give him some space
Here’s one of the simplest but most effective relationship advice ever: Give him some space. When a man won’t commit but won’t let you go, it usually means that he needs some time to sort out his feelings (if there are any, of course).
While he’s in the process of this, it’s important that you don’t pressure him. Let him know that you’re here if he wants to talk to you. If he doesn’t contact you for a long period of time, then continue with the next step.
Talk to him
He doesn’t want me but won’t leave me alone. He doesn’t want anything serious but he keeps contacting me.
Does this sound familiar to you? I bet it does. When a guy is, for some reason, indecisive, he will give his best to keep you in his life with minimum effort (until he figures out what exactly he wants).
If he doesn’t talk to you, then you need to talk to him to find out what’s going on inside his head.
Does he have a fear of commitment or something else is preventing him from fully committing to you? Is he only interested in a casual relationship with you?
Let him know that you won’t wait forever
After talking with him, let him know that you won’t wait forever on him to figure out what he wants. Let him know that you won’t be one of his options and he cannot treat you like that.
This will motivate him to stop taking you for granted (if he did that in the first place) and to finally stop playing games with you.
However, if he doesn’t stop playing with you even after you’ve talked to him, then you know you’re dealing with a legit player who’s not worthy of your time.
Focus on yourself
Regardless if he’s a player, a commitment-phobe, or something else, my humble advice to you is to focus on yourself. Remember that you cannot change him if he’s not ready to change himself.
You cannot force him to commit to you if he’s not ready for that. Also, you cannot know when and if anything will change in the near future.
Because of that, my dear lady, keep living your best life and ignore him completely. If he truly cares about you, he’ll go out of his way to win you back. If not, then you’re better off without him anyway.
Final Thoughts
He won’t leave me alone. He won’t commit but won’t let me go. Does this mean that he still has feelings for me?
Every man’s mindset and intentions are unique. If he won’t leave you alone, it might mean that he still cares about you, but you can never be too sure.
If all else fails, trust your intuition. Also, do what you think it’s best in your situation. Good luck!
