Being with someone who doesn’t respect you and not being able to do absolutely anything about it can break your heart into a million pieces. To avoid that and keep your heart safe and sound, here are 14 signs of a disrespectful girlfriend that you should be aware of.
If you recognize most of these signs, it’ll be an alarm call for you to make your significant other change or to end your relationship ASAP.
If you don’t do anything about your toxic relationship, you’ll most likely end up emotionally wounded.
If your loved one doesn’t respect you, it’s a clear sign they don’t love you enough. And lack of respect is definitely one of the biggest healthy relationship deal breakers.
14 Signs Of A Disrespectful Girlfriend
If you notice any of these clear signs of disrespect with your girlfriend, you must do something about it ASAP. The more you allow her to continue disrespecting you, the more she’ll ruin your self-esteem and mental health.
1. Name-calling has become a ‘normal’ part of your relationship
Unfortunately, many people don’t know or refuse to know that there are several types of abuse. Your partner doesn’t have to be physically violent to call it an abusive relationship.
For example, name-calling and insulting are verbal abuse, and if this is happening in your relationship, you should know that you’re in a deeply abusive and unhealthy relationship.
You should never tolerate any kind of abuse in your relationship, no matter your feelings for your girlfriend. If she’s able to treat you in an abusive way, what does that tell you about her feelings towards you? I know, it says that there are no feelings at all.
2. Never keeping her word or promises
If someone doesn’t care about keeping their word or the promises they make to you, be sure that they don’t care about you too.
When someone fails to keep their word several times on purpose, that makes them a liar. Once can be a coincidence, a mistake, but if this behavior repeats and happens several more times, it’s obvious that person is doing it on purpose.
This may hurt you, but you need to know, accept, and deal with the truth, and the truth is that your girlfriend doesn’t respect you. And if there is no respect, there is no love either.
3. Giving you the silent treatment for no reason (stonewalling)
When your significant other gives you the silent treatment, it’s mostly because they have a reason for it. Either they’re angry at you because of something you said or did to them, or they have heard something about you that they didn’t particularly like.
However, when your partner gives you the silent treatment for no reason at all, it’s obvious they’re playing with your feelings and sanity. It’s a sign of disrespect and also a red flag they don’t genuinely care about you.
4. Exposing your personal life to others
If your girlfriend talks about your personal life and things you only share with her with other people, do you need more proof that she doesn’t respect you? In fact, what are you doing with someone who can’t keep your secrets safe?
Betraying your secrets to some people you don’t even know or, even worse, to your enemies is the worst form of disrespect. You should be able to completely trust your partner or, on the contrary, your relationship is anything but healthy.
5. Gaslighting you
If your partner always tries to put the blame on you, insists that you’ve done something that she has actually done, and tries to twist the truth for her own benefit, that’s called gaslighting, and it is one of the most obvious signs of disrespect in a relationship.
Gaslighting can really damage your emotional and mental health. It can make you start to question your own sanity, especially if someone you love deeply does it to you.
If you care about your well-being, you’ll put an end to it immediately. And believe me, someone who is able to do this to you doesn’t have any kind of romantic feelings for you.
6. Crossing your personal boundaries
Setting and keeping personal boundaries is a must for a healthy relationship. Both partners need to have mutual respect for one another’s boundaries because that’s the only way they’ll maintain their relationship.
If your girlfriend shows no respect for your boundaries and behaves like they don’t even exist, it’s a clear sign of disrespect. That’s one of the things that should never be tolerated in a relationship.
7. Disrespecting your family members
When a girl disrespects your loved ones, it’s because she doesn’t respect you either. We all care about our families – they’re the most important people to us.
That’s why your significant other should treat them with respect. They don’t have to like them, but they should try to have good relationships with them for you and your relationship’s sake.
Also, if they love you and want to be with you, they should be aware that they’ll also be their family one day. And how do they expect to live with them if they disrespect them all the time?
8. Checking your phone
When your partner keeps checking your phone, even if you’ve never given them a reason to doubt your loyalty, either they have trust issues, or they don’t respect you.
Your phone should be part of your personal space, and those who intrude on it don’t obviously respect you.
You can’t be in a relationship with someone who constantly checks up on every step you take. If you don’t give your partner a reason to doubt your loyalty, they shouldn’t, and that’s it.
You should set boundaries regarding your phone and tell your GF loud and clear that you aren’t okay with her going through your phone every day. If she keeps doing it, even after you warn her not to, it’s clear that she doesn’t respect and care about you.
9. Never stands up for you
If your girl doesn’t have your back, if she doesn’t try to defend you when other people talk trash about you, it’s a huge red flag that she doesn’t respect you and, most probably, doesn’t love you either.
When you truly love someone, you will stand beside them and have their back, no matter what. You’ll never allow another person to hurt them or talk badly about them because they’re a part of you, and you feel their pain as your own.
Everything else is just an excuse and a clear sign of a lack of respect and love.
10. Allows other people to talk bad about your relationship
When you’re in a healthy and respectful relationship with someone you really love, you would never allow anyone else to talk trash about your relationship. Your love and your relationship are sacred to you, and anyone who touches it will get what they deserve.
Okay, you should always accept constructive criticism from others, but that doesn’t mean you should allow them to insult you or what you care about.
When you honestly love your partner, you won’t allow others to interfere in your relationship, even if those others are your family members. You can argue and have fights between the two of you, but you should always have each other’s backs and defend your relationship.
11. Flirting with other men in front of you
If she is able to flirt with other men or allow other men to approach and flirt with her, isn’t it a clear sign she doesn’t respect you? Be sure that she knows it bothers you like it would bother any other man, but the truth is, she doesn’t care about it at all.
She is obviously a narcissist, and all she wants is to make herself feel good. I know what you’re thinking right now: then why is she in a relationship with me? Honestly, it’s confusing for me too.
Maybe she’s keeping you around until a better opportunity comes along. On the other hand, maybe she’s expecting you to break up with her. This is definitely something you should think about.
12. Laughing at your insecurities
This is a very clear sign of disrespect. If she knows your insecurities and makes fun of you because of them (especially if she does it in front of other people or on social media), it is also a huge red flag that she doesn’t love you. At least not in the way you think she does.
The truth is, you can’t make fun of someone you say you love. You simply can’t because you know how much it’ll hurt them, and you couldn’t live with knowing that you’ve hurt them on purpose.
If your girlfriend does this to you, you should really think about whether she deserves a second chance… Whether you really want to be with someone who doesn’t respect and most probably doesn’t love you.
13. Using your low self-esteem to manipulate you
She’s your significant other, and it’s completely normal for her to know you, especially if you’re in a long-term relationship. However, just because you’ve opened up to her and showed her your flaws and imperfections, that doesn’t give her the right to use them or play with them.
Knowing that you have low self-esteem and using it to manipulate you into doing whatever she wants or thinking that you’re the reason she doesn’t respect you is the worst thing she could ever do to you.
When a man decides to open up to a woman, it’s because he trusts her and she has a special place in his heart. If a woman decides to use it to further her agenda, that only speaks volumes about her character.
14. Making you feel like everything else is more important than you
And the last one of the 14 signs of a disrespectful girlfriend is this one: when she makes you feel like everyone and everything else is way more important than you and your relationship.
It’s like she wants to make you feel small and unworthy. Like she really tries very hard to completely ruin your self-esteem and self-respect.
Of course, she can ONLY do that if you allow her to. If you confront her and show her that you’re perfectly aware of how worthy you are and that you won’t let other people treat you in any other way than you actually deserve, she’ll start appreciating you more.
The fact is, we always show others how to treat us through the way we treat ourselves. If you lack self-respect, others won’t respect you either.
See also: 13 Warning Signs Of A Disrespectful Husband You Shouldn’t Ignore
How Do You Deal With A Disrespectful Woman? 12 Ways
Dealing with a disrespectful partner isn’t easy. However, either you’ll confront them and try to save your relationship together, or you’ll walk away and forget they ever existed.
Here are some ways to help you put an end to your partner’s disrespectful behavior.
1. Always make your emotional and mental health a priority
It’s nice to find someone you can share your life with, but even if you’re in a romantic relationship, you should never forget who is and always will be your main priority: YOU.
Take care of yourself, especially your emotional and mental health. If your partner is costing you your peace of mind, or if they negatively affect your mental health in any way, you should always choose your own well-being and end things with them.
2. Self-respect is a must
If you keep allowing your girlfriend to disrespect you, it means that you don’t respect yourself in the first place. And she’ll most definitely continue with her disrespectful behavior until you decide to put an end to it.
That is how it goes in life. If you don’t respect yourself, other people won’t respect you either. If you don’t love yourself, no one else will ever love you.
3. Warn her about her behavior
Even if you’ve recognized all of these 14 signs of a disrespectful girlfriend, you shouldn’t break up with her immediately. You should talk to her because she may not be aware of her behavior and give her another chance to prove that she really loves you.
Admit to her how much her behavior bothers and hurts you. Also, warn her that you aren’t sure how much longer you’ll be able to put up with it.
4. Get help from outside the relationship
If you need someone to advise you on what you should do about your disrespectful girlfriend, or you simply need someone to share your pain with, you should seek help from loved ones or a relationship expert.
Professional help will give you the right advice to help you deal with your girl, and your loved ones will be there to offer you support.
5. SET BOUNDARIES once and for all
In all relationships, you need to have clear boundaries. If your girlfriend doesn’t respect you, it’s obvious that you weren’t clear about your personal boundaries.
Now, it’s time to change that. It’s high time you set clear and strong boundaries that will put an end to her behavior; otherwise, you’ll probably be left with a broken heart.
6. Demand your personal space
You have the right to personal space when you’re in a relationship. Actually, you both have, and it will only benefit your relationship.
Just because you’re dating doesn’t mean you should be together 24/7 and do absolutely everything together. No, that would only get you to the point where you’ll both be sick of one another.
7. Don’t allow her to manipulate you anymore
Okay, you’ve let her manipulate you because of your feelings for her, but right now, it’s time to put a stop to it.
Manipulation, silent treatments, and similar mind games should never be part of a healthy relationship. They’re a way for a partner to use or manipulate the other one into doing things that benefit them.
8. Understand that she’s a narcissist
All of these signs from above show that you’re dealing with a narcissistic girlfriend. Those types of girls are the worst, trust me.
She always wants to feel like she’s the center of everyone’s world, and if she doesn’t feel like that, she’ll try to make everyone’s life a living hell.
This girl is smart. She knows what she wants from you, and she’ll do absolutely anything to achieve her goals. She’ll play games and use different techniques to manipulate and gaslight you.
You should be careful with her, especially if you decide to continue your relationship. Also, another thing you should keep in mind is that she may never change. Narcissists may develop feelings for someone, but it’s hard for them to leave their narcissistic nature aside.
9. Don’t ever blame yourself for how she treats you
If you never gave them a reason to disrespect you, and they keep doing it, it’s because they’re a bad person. The fact is, when someone doesn’t show you any respect, it speaks volumes about their character, not yours.
Maybe you made some mistakes, and maybe you didn’t treat her exactly the way she deserves, but it still doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve respect.
She’ll probably want to manipulate you into thinking that you deserve everything she’s doing to you, but you need to be brave and find a way to resist her manipulations. Remember, she’s the bad one here, not you.
10. Don’t stoop to her level, no matter what
No matter how disrespectful she becomes, no matter how bad she treats you, don’t ever think about stooping to her level. If you can’t deal with it anymore, you should break up with her and say goodbye to her forever.
If you decide to stay in a relationship with her, and she keeps disrespecting you, but your feelings don’t allow you to leave, you should try to make her realize that her behavior is harming your relationship.
Talk to her calmly and try to be and stay the bigger person.
11. Ask her to change her behavior for the sake of your relationship
What’s the main problem in your relationship? What’s the thing that almost pushed you two apart? It’s your girlfriend’s disrespectful behavior, right?
Well then, you need to work on building mutual respect because that’s the only thing that can save your relationship.
You should also admit to her how her behavior affects your emotional and mental health. Maybe she isn’t even aware of the pain it causes you.
12. If she doesn’t want to work on building mutual respect, walk away
If you’re in love with your girlfriend and want to work on fixing your relationship, you have every right to do so. After all, true love is powerful enough to overcome all obstacles.
You should remind your girl about the importance of mutual respect in a relationship. If she doesn’t take it seriously, and if she doesn’t put any effort into making things work between you, you should give up on your relationship.
I don’t want to lie, but it’s difficult. Well, it’s heartbreaking to force yourself to forget someone you love deeply, but sometimes, it’s the only thing we can do to move forward with our lives.
How Does Disrespect Affect A Relationship?
Lack of respect always has many different (and, of course, negative) impacts on any relationship, especially a romantic relationship. If a couple doesn’t work on fixing those issues, it may even lead their relationship to a definite end.
The partner who feels disrespected will be left with insecurities, and their self-esteem will be significantly decreased. Their self-worth will be totally ruined, and they’ll feel unworthy of being loved.
Even if the couple finds a way to overcome these issues, there will be some consequences. They’ll never be able to trust each other the way they did before, and one partner will never be 100% sure of their relationship.
The truth is, if you’re in a loving relationship with someone, and if you really want to make that person feel happy and loved, you can’t disrespect them. Their pain immediately becomes yours, and you could never hurt them on purpose.
In Closing
I hope these 14 signs of a disrespectful girlfriend will help you make a definite conclusion about whether you really have a disrespectful girlfriend or not.
If you’ve recognized most of these signs, I’m sorry, but I have very bad news for you. For the sake of your own well-being, you need to end your relationship and leave that girl behind.
Or, you should explain to her that she has crossed a line and remind her about your boundaries.
No matter how much you love someone, you should never tolerate disrespectful behavior because it may be a clear sign that your love isn’t reciprocated in the same way.
Remember, people only treat you the way you allow them to. If you keep allowing them to disrespect you, they’ll do it until you put a definite end to it.
