We all know what cheating is all about. Being disrespected by the person we love the most in this way is what makes us forget about all the good times we had with them, simply because there is no way we can trust them ever again.
In my opinion, cheating is a way of disrespecting yourself, me and our relationship, so there is really no positive aspect to it.
Today, with all these new ways to communicate with the people around us and becoming so close over social media, new ways of cheating have been developed.
When you think about it, you will see that each and every one of these things do count as cheating, even though they have nothing to do with physical contact.
1. Deleting your texts
It’s fine that he wants to clear his memory of trash but if you have gone through his phone at one point and you haven’t found any texts then you should be worried.
Deleting text messages is a way of hiding what they are doing and not being completely honest with you. Can you even trust a person like this?
If they think that whatever they are hiding will make you angry, it probably will.
2. Having a friend who is ‘too close’
There is no one in this world who is going to tell you that you have to give up your friends for your boyfriend/girlfriend but when you’re in a relationship, you’re supposed to keep a certain distance from people who may develop emotions toward you.
For that same reason, if you see him being too close with a female friend, hugging excessively, having inside jokes or simply excluding you from their world, be aware that this is a way of cheating.
3. Being active on dating sites
The reason why people make themselves a profile on a dating site is because they want to find a boyfriend/girlfriend—someone to relate to or at least someone to spend the night with.
So why would someone maintain their account on Tinder if they do not want those things? Weren’t you supposed to delete all of those profiles once you started to date someone?
That’s why, if you hear from someone that your partner is being active on dating sites, you have the complete right to confront them about it!
Related: 11 Boyfriend Female Friends Boundaries That Must Be Followed
4. Checking out other people
Whether it is in front of you or you have simply been informed that your partner has been checking out and/or flirting with someone else, that is considered cheating.
Don’t allow someone to make a fool out of you and tell you that their flirting is harmless, because if they were serious about you, their eyes would be only on you.
Holding your hand while watching a woman in a mini skirt is truly disrespectful.
5. Keeping in touch with an ex
Staying friends with your ex is a really hard thing to do, especially if you have someone new in your life. They might get insecure and make a problem out of it.
But seeing your ex, texting frequently and/sleeping with stuffed animals that you have been given by your ex are all disrespectful.
Did he tell you that they were simply seeing each other as friends even though he knows that it bothers you? No matter whether they do get intimate now or not, they were intimate at a certain point in time and there is nothing that can keep them from reliving that fantasy.
6. Sexting
It’s not physical but it’s the closest to cheating someone can get. Seeing your partner sending nude pictures of themselves and/or writing down scenarios about having sex with someone else is heartbreaking.
It’s simply not natural to fantasize about having sex with someone else while you’re in a committed relationship with someone you say you love.
At the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide what counts as cheating to you. If it makes you insecure and your partner still keeps on talking to or about someone then they are really not being faithful to you.
Make boundaries that will determine what you find to be acceptable or not and discuss them with your partner. It’s about mutual happiness in the long run.
Thank you, this was a great article!
I found it quite useful. Now I know what to look for when I meet someone. If a new person mentions one or more of your list it is painfully obvious they are just looking to control me, perhaps even suffocate me, and clearly have no trust. They are not looking to, and probably have no ability ability to, maintain a mature, caring, positive relationship.
So thank you for the warning signs!! Always good to know how others think.
This is some of the worst relationship advice I’ve ever seen online. These are good ways to make a partner miserable and resentful, control them in the most negative of ways, and force them to make choices that will almost certainly be detrimental to you. The writer has a lot to learn about good communication and allowing a partner to have a life.
If you go through his phone, you are the problem. If you are told he is flirting and immediately accept that as gospel, you are the problem. If your partner can’t have close friends, you are the problem. If your partner can’t be friends with their former lovers, you are the problem.
These are all toxic and controlling, they may be alright in some relationship styles, where control is part of the relationship, but that’s all agreed to beforehand.
There is only one thing that’s cheating, and that is breaking the terms of your relationship, whatever those terms may be. Monogamous relationships tend to have one automatic term, don’t have sex with other people, but beyond that if you don’t figure out the terms of your relationship with your partner or partners, it’s not their fault at all for stepping past the boundaries they didn’t know exist,
I’m having flashbacks to seventh grade, when Suzie would melt down in hysterics because Bobby said “Hi” to Becky in Study Hall.
This is terrible! The author is a super insecure person and I wouldn’t wish anyone to be in a relationship with her
Wow, the author of this text sounds like she may be one of the most miserable people wandering about on our tiny little planet.
Let’s do some analysis on each of these…
1. If you feel a need to look through your partner’s phone, this is a sure sign that you already don’t trust them. You don’t need to discover they’ve deleted messages to reaffirm that you shouldn’t trust them. You don’t and that means your relationship is toast.
2. There are lots of people who will tell you to give up your friends for a relationship. You should avoid those people because they’re trying to isolate and control you. This is another case of being insecure about your relationship, which means it’s probably toast.
3. This one I can see. However, I don’t think anyone should be forced to delete their dating profiles just because they started dating someone. Actively searching on these sites while in a monogamous relationship though could be a sign of cheating.
4. Willfully checking out someone in front of your partner could be disrespectful if your partner has expressed irritation about this in the past. Some people (like me) simply don’t care because I trust my partner and know they’re coming home with me. An occasional glance, however, is usually an involuntary reaction and should not be considered cheating… and accusing them of cheating because you *heard* your partner was letching on another woman? That’s just utter bollocks!
5. Whoa, there’s that insecurity and need for control again. Let me put this simply: If you think your partner is sleeping with his/her ex, it doesn’t matter if they are or not. You don’t trust them and that’s enough to break the relationship on it’s own, whether there’s foul play or not.
6. This is the only one I’ll agree with fully. If your partner is unaware of the person you are sending nudes and typing dirty messages to, that actually is cheating.
Bottom line: Trust is the most important part of a relationship. Without it, the relationship will be unhappy and broken, sooner or later. Trust is not proven by monitoring your partner’s phone or relying on your friends to inform you of their misdeeds. You just have to trust your instincts. I’ve been in a relationship where I felt the need to look through their phone. The minute I did, I realized that it didn’t matter if I found what I was looking for or not. I didn’t trust my partner and that was a problem. Fast-forward to my current relationship. In over 5 years now, I’ve never once felt the need to look through her phone to prove my faith in her. I just know that she’s trustworthy.
What is this controlling non-sense? Monogamous people need to learn to let go of hang-up like these, re-evaluate what a healthy relationship is and actually Talk To Each Other!
This Relationship Sounds Exhausting.