What if the ones we care about intentionally want to hurt us? This is a scary thought regardless of whether we are talking about our romantic partner, friends, or other loved ones.
In fact, I’m not just talking about different love languages. I am talking about completely different goals of a relationship. Being fooled by someone you love is not something I would wish on anyone.
I can only imagine the broken heart and emotional scars this might cause. This is why I am bringing you a list of things to do if you’re being fooled, and how to tell if you’re a fool for love.
Read on to find out if you’re in a healthy relationship or if you’re being an ignorant fool and letting someone lie to you.
How To Tell You’re Being Fooled By Someone You Love
Being fooled by someone you love is not a common occurrence. It’s not just about being tricked into believing that the person loves you when they don’t. It’s also about thinking that the person is who they say they are, when in reality, they are hiding their true face.
The first thing you need to clarify is what type of relationship you’re in with the person that is potentially trying to fool you. In fact, friends and lovers are more prone to fool you.
In this case, what does being fooled mean? It can mean that they want to get something out of you, such as your money, status, or other things.
Therefore, we can conclude that romantic and friendly relationships are more prone to seeking out ways to deceive you in order to gain your finances, reputation, or sexual favors.
Here are some examples of people being fooled by someone they love:
• Significant other being with you only for your money
• Friends hanging out with you because of your reputation
• Lover leading you on and wanting payback for how you broke up
• Family members going to dinner with you because you pay for the food
• Lover being interested only in sex or being friends with benefits with you
Love is not always what it seems to be.
You, and a lot of people, can find yourselves being fooled by someone you love. Now, we will explore some of the red flags of being fooled by those who they love:
• TRUST YOUR GUT INSTINCT: If something feels off, it most likely is. If you have a hunch that someone is there for the money, their stance will give it away.
• THERE IS AN EMOTIONAL DISTANCE: Your partner tells you, “I love you”, all the time, but it’s hard for you to believe it because something is missing.
• SOMETHING CHANGED: You broke up, had a fight, or shared something with them, and that was the moment you started feeling sinister energy from them.
• OVERDOING IT: They are love bombing you or giving you all the attention in the world, and it just doesn’t add up.
• LYING AND PRETENDING: They are not telling you where they were, what they were doing, and whom they were with just to please you.
• BLAME ON YOU: If you confront them, they will gaslight you or blame everything on you.
There are many ways in which people can be fooled by those they love, and the most important thing you can do right now is to try and figure out if your loved one has any secret intention.
Try to look at the problem realistically. A lot of things might be going right, but are there any signs you are being fooled? What are the odds of your partner leading you on, and do they have a history of this behavior?
In the future, there are also many ways in which you can avoid being fooled. One way to avoid being fooled is to remember that the person you love might not always tell you the truth.
It’s best if you start believing that right now. This way, it will be easier for you to figure out if you’re being fooled.
Being fooled by someone you love is a form of emotional abuse. It can be difficult to recognize, and it can happen in any type of relationship.
12 Steps To Take If You’re Being Fooled By Someone You Love
Once you know you are being fooled by someone you love, take these steps for the ultimate payback:
1. Trust yourself.
Do you have that gut instinct that gives you the feeling that you know something without any logical explanation, even when you meet someone for the first time?
For example, if you have a gut feeling that someone is lying, you can test this by asking them questions and seeing how they react. If they are telling the truth, their answers will match what you say.
If they are lying, they will fidget and look away, trying to change the subject as soon as possible. If this happens, you are sure to trust your gut and run as fast as possible from that situation.
2. Be honest.
In this case, you need to be honest with yourself. And, I mean totally honest. Do you truly believe you are being fooled, or is your mind playing tricks on you?
If you truly believe that you are being fooled by someone you love, try to address the situation objectively. Sadly, now you know how it feels to be betrayed.
Ask yourself if they have probable cause and motive to fool you, and what they would get out of it. Throughout this process, the most important thing is to be totally honest with yourself about what is happening and how you’re feeling.
3. Address your situation.
If all of the answers to these questions are possible, then you really might have fraud on your hands. In fact, you are the fool in love, and they are the wise man ruining your life and leaving life-long emotional scars on your mental health.
What you need to do now is address your situation. In other words, you need to assess what is happening in your life and whether your loved one really had the means and motive to make a fool out of you.
It is time to address whether or not you can get out of the situation if you are autonomous and if you can live without them. Don’t be fooled. They might have you under their foot in the first place.
4. Gather more proof.
If you need to, try and stay as long as possible with the one who is fooling you to gather as much proof as possible. This way, you will prove that your suspicions are true.
It can be proof that your partner is cheating, your friend is lying about whom they are hanging out with, or a family member hiding information from you. The main deal is that the proof is rock solid. Photos and texts would be the best options.
Regardless of the proof, the main thing is that you have solid proof that will not allow the other side to manipulate you. You will use this later to show them you know the truth, and show yourself you were right.
5. Confront them.
It all comes down to this step. Don’t think of all the love quotes they send or how many years you spent in high school together.
Once you are sure your loved one is fooling you, and you have proof they are lying, it is time to confront them.
In fact, you have been fooled by your friend or loved one, and you should let them know what they put you through. The same goes if you’re dealing with a cheater.
Please do not put up with it anymore. It is time to let them know what you have to say.
6. Say what you’re thinking.
Rehearse what you’re going to say to the other side. It has to be concise, convincing, and straightforward. In fact, just say what you believe is true.
When talking, don’t slouch… be confident in yourself and speak your mind freely. Do not let yourself be a fool for love again. It’s time to stand up for yourself.
7. Don’t believe them.
Your partner, friend, or family member will try to gaslight you and make you seem like you’re crazy. They will try to downplay it and act dominant if you give them proof. In the end, they will surely try to blame everything on you and pin this to be a waste of time.
Do not believe their lies anymore, and don’t be blind when all the evidence is right in front of you. You have them right where you want them… do not let them turn the cards on you.
8. Don’t tolerate it.
Once you speak your mind, tell them what your future plans are. It can be breaking off the relationship you have, which I strongly recommend. But, it can also be staying together if they are ready to change their behavior.
I do need to say that you will still need to monitor their behavior for any sign of mistreatment. If they proceed with their previous lifestyle, do not tolerate it like before.
9. Leave them.
Delete them from social media, get a new apartment and phone number, and try to live through hell. If you’re a victim of abuse, this is the hardest step to take.
In fact, you will soon feel relieved and never think about them again, not even their zodiac sign. Falling in love and expecting them to love you enough was a mistake, and you will soon heal from the whole process.
10. Let them deal with the consequences.
If you had any plans together or if you made payments together after leaving, do not contact them ever again.
Let them live with what they did to you and feel the consequences of their own actions.
It can be that you leave them to deal with heartbreak, to find their financial stability, or to find new friends. In any case, it’s none of your business now.
11. Talk to someone you trust.
Once all of it is over, find a friend or a family member you trust. Let them know exactly what happened and tell them what you did. This person needs to be a confidant who will not spread lies about you.
If emotional or physical abuse happens, such as the person stole money from you, or anything illegal happened, notify the authorities.
12. Be gentle with yourself.
Once you’re out of the game, you are finally free. This is a trial time when you need to understand yourself. Be gentle and let your heartbreak heal.
These days are the harshest because you never know how you will feel when you wake up.
In any case, let yourself heal, and don’t be afraid to form meaningful bonds again because that is what makes life better.
In The End
First, if you’ve read through my article and realized that you’re being fooled by someone you love, and that they are, in fact, lying to you… I need to say that I am sorry for what you’re going through.
Second, remember to give yourself time to get your self-esteem and self-worth back. This time, the best relationship advice is to lay low and try to find more clues as to whether they are lying or fooling you.
Lastly, give yourself space. This is a tough situation, and moving on right away is not recommended. You can mend your wounds, and next time, trust your gut feeling when falling in love.