How can you tell if your guy has suddenly changed? How can you tell if he’s cheating on you based on his everyday behavior?
If something doesn’t feel right, that’s probably because it’s not right. It doesn’t matter if everything looks perfect—vibes don’t lie. You should always listen to your emotions but you should also keep in mind not to solely rely on them.
Establishing that something obviously is not right in your relationship is the first and the most important step. You should never attack your guy for no valid reason because that’s one of the worst-case scenarios you don’t want to experience.
The second thing you need to establish is what exactly is it that’s not right? Could it be that he’s cheating on you? Well, if you suspect so, chances are he really could be doing something behind your back BUT do not jump to conclusions.
Thinking that he might be cheating on you is not the same thing as being sure!
And now you’re probably wondering how to tell for sure if he’s cheating on you. Asking him won’t get you anywhere. By doing that, you’d only give him a chance to lie. Following him around is also not a good idea because you don’t want to turn into a control freak and destroy your well-being.
But there’s one thing you can do and that is observe his everyday behavior. If you pay attention to his actions, you’ll easily notice any changes regarding his behavior and these changes are strong indicators of him being a potential cheater.
Some of them are very obvious and it won’t take you long to solve the mystery. So, here’s a list of things you should pay attention to in order to reveal or discard his potential cheating nature. And if you notice any of them, then it’s time to have a serious talk with your boyfriend!
1. He’s texting way more often
If he’s constantly texting, even when he’s with you, then he clearly has something important to say to someone. And if he’s smiling at his phone while reading a text, then he probably has someone on the side. When you feel amused by something, smiling comes naturally to you and you simply can’t hide the joy. These types of body language indicators almost never fail.
But still, you want to be careful with this one. He might be only texting his friend. But if you notice him constantly keeping his phone close and not letting you borrow it for a minute when you ask him, then he, for sure, has something (or someone) to hide from you. And you have every right to ask him about it.
2. He won’t have any phone conversations in front of you
The moment his phone rings, he gets up, goes to another room and comes back only when the conversation is completely done. Sure, it might be that his boss is calling him and he doesn’t need you to distract him while they’re discussing a huge issue that came up at work.
But what are the chances of that? His boss won’t be calling him every day, that’s for sure. So, if he’s constantly having conversations literally behind your back, then something utterly fishy is going on. After all, he wouldn’t do such a thing if he didn’t have anything to hide from you in the first place.
To be sure about this one, you can try asking him why he always goes to another room when someone calls him. If he starts muttering or showing signs of confusion, then he is definitely hiding something and you have every right to keep questioning him some more about it.
3. He goes out much more than before
All of a sudden he’s a party animal who can’t be tamed. There is always something he can’t miss. When you ask him who is he going out with, you always get the same answer: “Oh, just some friends.” In most cases, ‘just some friends’ is a codename for the one girl he’s been seeing behind your back.
Going out becomes just a lame excuse for him to keep doing things in secret, hoping you’ll never find out anything about it. But by suspecting that he is lying to you, you are already two steps ahead of him.
To be a hundred percent sure about this one, you can ask him if you can join him, just to see his facial expression. If he’s hiding something, he will be literally unable to answer your question properly.
4. He cares too much about his looks
Before he goes out with ‘his friends’, he spends a lot of time in front of the mirror. He takes a shower, picks out the best outfit he has and takes care of his hair. If this is his new ritual before going out then you should definitely be worried.
Who is he getting ready for? You are the only woman he should try that hard for. If he reminds you of the man he was at the beginning of your relationship, then it might be that he’s starting a new one. And he’s not even man enough to admit it to you.
Putting too much effort into his looks only when he’s going out with ‘some friends’ is a sure sign that he’s going out with some chick he wants to impress. Men are really predictable when it comes to this one because only when they really like someone will they try hard to look their best for them.
5. He’s more active on social media
Not only that he’s texting all the time but he’s posting a lot of new stuff on his social media profiles. There are a lot of new pictures of him without you that he just had to post. He’s constantly updating his status so that people would think his life is much more interesting.
We all know how lazy guys are when it comes to texting and social networks. They wouldn’t bother posting a single thing if they were not interested in winning someone’s attention. And if he’s constantly trying to take the best selfies and checking if someone liked his photo, then you have a problem.
If he does this, evidently he’s waiting for a specific like and approval from a specific person and when he gets it, he instantly becomes happy, like a child. He can’t hide his happiness because he finally got what he was waiting for.
6. He’s avoiding you
He has no time for you. It’s the most obvious sign he’s trying to push you away. Whenever you want to spend time with him, he remembers he has something to do. He’s going to make up any excuse just to escape from you.
Not only that he stopped going on dates with you, he also stopped having sex with you. That is definitely a sign he has someone on the side who goes on dates with him. You see, if a man avoids having sex with you, then something’s clearly not right.
If he avoids intimacy and physical contact, it probably means that he’s having all of this with someone else and he’s a coward to admit it to you. Instead, he avoids you because deep down in his soul he knows that he’s being an asshole and he can’t stop being one.
7. He’s arguing with you more than ever
Of course, you’re getting paranoid and trying to find decent proof that he’s a cheater. It’s normal. But the way he acts when you touch his phone or his laptop is not normal. He starts screaming at you like you’ve done the most horrible thing in the universe.
And while he’s screaming, he’s making up reasons as to why you can’t touch his stuff. He’s saying how you’re not that good with tech and you could ruin some important project he’s working on. It is clear that he’s keeping secrets from you.
It is normal to argue to a certain degree but if he turns into a beast every time you touch some of his stuff or ask him some questions, it is a huge red flag that he’s a cheater in disguise. He reacts explosively because he’s afraid that you’ll uncover everything he’s been doing behind your back so far.
8. He is playing the victim
When you ask him questions about his whereabouts or something fishy he did, not only does he have an outburst at you, he also starts playing the victim. He blames you for being too controlling even though he knows that it’s not true at all and that is the biggest sign and the answer to your question: How do I tell if he’s cheating?
By playing the victim, he is subconsciously trying to draw attention to another problem and that is ‘you being a control freak’. He avoids talking about anything related to him because he knows that his deeds might just get uncovered.
It is the most popular and natural defense mechanism when it comes to cheating, lying and similar. If he’s playing the victim, you can be sure that he’s hiding something from you and he’s hiding it badly.
In situations like this, the only thing you can do is calm down, ask him to talk to you later when he comes to his senses and prepare yourself for leaving. Victim games will only waste your time and life’s too short to spend it on a man who’s not worthy of your one second.
What to do about it?
If all the indications are screaming that he’s cheating on you, don’t even bother trying to understand why. Too many what ifs will only confuse you and create havoc in your mind. The only thing you should remember is that you are not the one to blame.
Whatever he might be doing, it is not because of you. He’s doing it because he’s too weak to be a real man and let you go instead of hurting you deliberately. You should never blame yourself because you couldn’t do anything about it.
What you should be doing is trying to save yourself. Don’t let it get to you that much. It’s his fault that he doesn’t know how to be honest. He should’ve broken up with you if he wanted to start something new. It is as simple as that.
The only thing you can do now is talk to him. Tell him that you know what you deserve. You don’t need someone who is going to lie to you or disrespect you. If he’s cheating on you then it’s time to leave him. Pack your things and don’t look back.
After all, if he truly loved you, he would have never done this to you. You don’t hurt those you love. You fight for them.