Relationships are hard work.
Yes, they are beautiful and a lot of times worth that hard work, but sometimes it’s just too much for some people. Especially overthinkers.
In order to have a stable and strong relationship, you need to believe in yourself and your partner, and – you guessed it – overthinking is what stops that from happening.
Overthinking is what often kills relationships in the end.
The problem is the following: Anxious people already know they’re anxious and that makes them feel like a burden right at the start.
Anxiety is often accompanied by low self-esteem, which doesn’t help either.
Overthinkers want to meet a person who will understand this, but it’s hard for them to believe anyone could accept them the way they are because – let’s be honest – anxiety affects life habits big time.
It’s what makes you weird at parties and occasionally hate yourself.
Everything that seems so easy and normal for other people is so hard and unattainable for an anxious person.
Why? Anxiety is in a way about being unable to live in the present moment, forever worrying about what has happened or what might happen.
It’s like a constant premonition of something bad that you can’t control.
It’s understandable that no one can function normally if they’re in a constant state of stress and fear. That’s what paralyzes a person and makes everyday tasks draining.
What’s worse, anxious people are more often than not the type of people who notice every little detail around them, which only means there are more things to overthink about.
They notice strange looks, changes in voice, and the tiniest of gestures, then blow their meaning out of proportion in their head.
So, what can be done in order to help an anxious person experience a normal and healthy relationship?
One of the main things you can do is let them know that everything is okay, and do it often. A very simple yet effective action.
Make them see things that are happening at that moment; don’t let them wander around in their mind (especially at the beginning of the relationship where it’s normal for everyone to be a little bit anxious around their partner.)
Don’t give them a reason to overthink – say what you feel right away when something happens.
Don’t be afraid to take control of some aspects of your relationship or life together. You can be the one who decides things because they probably have a problem with being indecisive.
Read between the lines.
Sometimes when they respond with short sentences, it can mean something is bothering them, but they feel too awkward to admit it.
The same goes for nervous habits like playing with their hands, bouncing their knee, etc.
If you notice those habits, avoid saying: Why are you so nervous? Are you okay?
It’s only going to make things worse because they will become hyper-aware of themselves and their body language that obviously screams nervous.
Instead, try to just communicate and take their mind off of what’s bothering them at that moment.
Open, honest, and mindful conversation fixes almost everything, including this. Do it more often.
Understanding someone’s fears is one of the most ultimate love languages. It’s just good to keep in mind that not everyone’s fears are obvious to the eye.
Other than reassuring, conversations, and mindfulness – it’s important to let them know you accept them for who they are.
Set an example to show them it’s possible to love and care about somebody even when they have certain issues and have a hard time accepting themselves.
Be their safe place, but also be their reality check. It’s possible to do both, it just needs to be done the right way.
An anxious person overthinks, but that also means they care a lot.
The only thing they need is to have full trust in you – that’s when everything gets better.
To trust someone to understand you, love you, care for you, protect you, and go through tough times with you is priceless.
In return, you get the most amazing love you’ll ever experience – the love of a person who cares about your every thought and every part of you.
Someone who will appreciate you for the rest of your life.
And overthinker is just a big lover in disguise.
