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Love Is Complicated: 20 Reasons Why And What To Do About It

Love Is Complicated: 20 Reasons Why And What To Do About It

How many times have you thought to yourself: ”Man, love is complicated. Why don’t I just give up?”

Too many times, I’m sure.

It can be exhausting to want something real when nothing but problems keep coming your way.

But, what makes these problems appear? Is love really complicated? If so, why?

If you want to know the answers, read on and you’ll have them, along with some beautiful love quotes that perfectly describe the complexity of this emotion.

Is Love A Complicated Emotion?

girl sitting on couch thinking how love is complicated

Not really, but we are the ones who make it complicated.

Real, unconditional love is a beautiful thing, and very simple at that.

It encourages you to become the best version of yourself all the while showing you that you have been worthy all along. It makes you realize why all the previous relationships didn’t work out.

So, unless your person makes you feel that way, they are not the one. But, if you believe them to be, despite that, that’s where issues arise.

20 Reasons Why Love Is Complicated And What To Do

Romantic relationships can be a very complicated thing. I know you just want to make sense of it all, so if you’re having a hard time accomplishing that, take a look at the following possible reasons why love is complicated for you:

1. Walls built too high.

Love is complicated because you are afraid to let it in. You are in constant pain over not being able to find someone who makes you happy, but as soon as you do, you push them away.

You find excuses to convince yourself that they’re not really your type, but in reality, you just don’t know how to accept someone’s love.

F. Scott Fitzgerald once said: ”I’m not used to being loved. I wouldn’t know what to do.”

And, that’s understandable. If you’ve never had a happy love life, you will be scared because it’s a completely unknown universe.

Still, remind yourself of how you deserve the kind of love that is real, and even if you don’t know how to act, in fact, all you need to do is let it happen.

2. Too much or too little.

couple laying on couch talking how love is complicated

It is a sad truth that mostly, one partner loves more than the other. If you are the one who gives more love than you receive, it is natural that you feel exhausted by it.

This might even create low self-esteem issues. You might think that you are unworthy of love altogether only because your person doesn’t love you.

On the other hand, if you are the partner who loves less, you might feel guilty. You stay in the relationship because you’re scared of being single or because you are just used to it.

In either case, it is not fair to any of you to keep being with each other. Maybe you should contemplate a breakup; otherwise, you will only feel more miserable as days go by.

3. Haunted by the past…

Do you believe that no one is capable of loyalty? Do you believe that you are bound to be betrayed if you let them get near?

Well, in that case, it is no wonder why you feel that love is complicated.

I don’t blame you for having trust issues. That’s the fault of those who betrayed you the first time you experienced love, but you need to realize that you are still responsible for your own recovery.

You don’t need to forgive them, but you do need to let go. Not every person is the same.

Tell me… would you ever betray your loved one? Well, there’s your answer.

There are a lot of people out there like you, but you don’t find them because you aren’t really looking. It’s time to change that.

4. Love isn’t enough.

couple fighting while girl covers her face

Loving someone is easy, but liking them is the hard part.

Perhaps you could conquer the world with the amount of love you have for them, but you still shudder every time they are rude to someone.

Or, perhaps you’re looking for a mature partner, and can’t help but feel bad every time they avoid their responsibilities.

Either way, that may be a sign that you’re not right for each other.

Naturally, you can work on all your problems. Nothing is unsolvable. But, remember that it’s possible to have an epic romance where you both love and like someone.

Allow yourself to find something that will fulfill. Half-love has never done anyone any good.

5. Things change…

Different personalities are attracted to each other… or are they?

Well, yes, when you notice someone who’s your total opposite, your dopamine levels will be through the roof.

We all want something exciting. Rarely does anyone want another version of themselves.

However, the thing that excites you in the beginning is very often the one that drives you mad after some time.

That’s why you should remember that differences indeed are okay, and necessary, at that. However, there should still be certain similarities that will help the relationship to stay alive.

Figure out what’s truly important to you, and make decisions accordingly.

6. Idealization brings trouble.

depressed woman sitting on floor thinking how love is complicated

Have you ever met someone you really liked, but you exaggerated their good qualities to the point where you started to glorify them?

You fall in love with the version of them you created, but your mind refuses to accept who they actually are.

So, if you think that love is complicated, it’s because you make it so.

People aren’t projects for you to work on, so stop loving them conditionally. See the person before you as they are, so that when you fall in love, you’ll know it’s real.

7. No friendship.

The biggest mistake people make is entering into relationships where there is no friendship. That might excite you in the beginning, but eventually, you’ll get tired.

Your partner should also be your best friend; the person you share everything with.

If you can’t communicate nor have fun, but see each other merely as PARTNERS, then I am afraid that might easily turn into a heartbreak.

Why would you want such a complicated relationship when you could look at someone and genuinely see all you have ever wanted?

8. Romance is a thing of the past.

couple having romantic dinner

No, the honeymoon phase won’t last forever, but that doesn’t mean you should entirely give up on romance. If all that remains in the relationship is friendship, that’s just not enough.

So, never stop going on dates or organizing small, exciting trips together. Never stop flirting with each other because what’s a relationship without that?

Keep the flame between you alive at all cost. It’s never a bad time for some romance.

9. Souls that aren’t connected.

It’s not enough to proclaim that the other person is your partner. A relationship is much more than that.

It’s accepting each other’s worst parts and offering comfort and love whenever you need it. It’s being there no matter how difficult it gets.

If your partner is prone to repressing their emotions and dealing with problems alone, that’s a major issue. But, not one that can’t be solved.

Start by being the one who opens up to them. Show them that emotional vulnerability isn’t a weakness, but a way to heal your sad soul and strengthen your relationship in the process.

10. Opposing core values.

couple facing away in bed

Do you and your partner have entirely different values?

Perhaps you’re extremely ethical whereas they are prone to cheating. Or, perhaps, you have a tendency to fight for the weak whereas they are the one who belittles the weak.

If so, your love story might not have such a happy ending. But, do not fret!

If you are willing to put in hard work, you can strengthen your relationship. But, both of you have to be prepared for what’s coming.

On the other hand, if nothing changes, there’s no point in pushing it.

There is an ideal partner out there with the same core values as you. Once you let go of what isn’t for you, you will find them.

11. Problems don’t mean the end.

So many (potential) couples observe a problem as proof that they shouldn’t be together. This couldn’t be more of a wrong approach.

In reality, you are a team that should overcome every obstacle with healthy communication. It is you two against the problem. You aren’t competing with each other.

So, the next time an issue arises, think about that. Sit down with your partner and lighten your heavy heart.

Then, look for solutions. What can you do to make the other person happy?

Never forget the true value of love.

12. Infatuation isn’t love.

distant couple sitting away on bed

It is not uncommon for people to fall for each other’s looks or to fall victim to idealization all the while never truly getting to know each other.

But, this isn’t really love. This is infatuation.

You can’t expect something to work if you don’t know who the person in front of you is. You can’t expect a relationship to be ideal only because you are attracted to them.

If you fall in love for all the wrong reasons, you are bound to be disappointed!

I’m sorry, but you need to reevaluate your checklist, and start looking for someone you truly like despite all their flaws.

13. Unhealthy obsessions.

Too much of anything is not good. As hard as it might be for you to believe that, it’s the truth.

No matter how much you love someone or something, if you devote an unhealthy amount of time to them/it, it will eventually have a bad effect.

Are you too clingy? Do you get angry if your partner doesn’t respond to your message immediately? Do you expect to see them every day even when you know they’re busy?

If so, you need to rethink your ways.

Your partner has their own life, and you have yours. You can’t expect them to live for you and be there 24/7.

Once you learn how to set boundaries, you will learn to respect each other more, and perhaps love won’t be so complicated after all.

14. Wishing for someone else.

girl sitting on sofa realizing love is complicated

One of the most common reasons why romantic love is complicated is the involvement of a third party.

Are you still in love with your high school ex? Do you secretly have feelings for someone, even though you keep saying they’re ‘just a friend‘?

If so, that can greatly affect your relationship. If you or your partner is interested in someone else, it’s not fair to continue being together.

You will be unhappy because in your mind, you will always be elsewhere, and your partner will never fully understand why you can’t love them the way they love you.

15. Years coming between you.

Are you in love with someone who is ten years older than you? Or, perhaps, someone who is a lot younger, and you feel more like a parental figure than a partner? Are they your ‘right person at the wrong time‘?

Well, the age gap relationship is the one that’s causing you such difficulties.

But, the real problem isn’t the age gap; it’s society that convinces us that an age gap is something to be worried about when in reality, it isn’t.

Naturally, you will not date a minor and justify it by saying that it’s true love. But, in other cases, if you really love each other, you shouldn’t let your age be the problem.

If you have different maturity levels, yes, that can be frustrating, but love really conquers all. You should help each other grow, and not be angry over what you don’t understand.

16. Your destiny being in the hands of others.

sad woman sitting on couch

We all want our family to approve of our partner. It’s understandable to want everyone to get along. But, some of us take it to a whole new level.

What you need to understand is this – it is YOU who is dating your partner, NOT your family. It is YOUR future that’s on the line, NOT theirs.

If you really love them, you shouldn’t let anyone else’s opinion intervene with how you feel.

Fight for it because it is your feelings that are most important.

17. Fear overcoming your desires.

Perhaps you adore this person, but there’s something inside you that keeps finding reasons to end it. Well, that might be because of your commitment issues.

People who are afraid to commit convince themselves that they don’t really need anybody, or they constantly question the other person’s love.

What you need to do is get to the bottom of this. Find out the root cause of the problem and fight it with all your might.

Will you ever find love? Well, that’s up to you.

18. Unrequited love.

arguing couple sitting on sofa realizing love is complicated

We’ve all been there – loving someone who doesn’t love us back. How silly of us for wishing things to be different! Why do we let ourselves feel this way?

Well, you don’t really choose who you love, but at the same time, you do.

Have you heard that quote ”We accept the love we think we deserve”? That’s not far from the truth.

If you keep holding on to someone who’s not ready to reciprocate your feelings, you need to learn to love yourself more.

Just know that it’s okay to be struggling with this. You are not the only one. But, at least try to remind yourself daily that you deserve a new love story.

Practice emotional self-care daily and you will eventually get there. Baby steps!

19. Secret loves…

Ah, the pain of being in love with someone secretly and not being able to tell them! The pain of seeing them every day and trying hard to hide how you feel.

This is painful no matter which scenario you put it in. Perhaps you’re in love with your best friend or a person you’ve just met, but who keeps giving you mixed signals.

Good heavens, what does one do?!

Well, you can start by telling them how you feel. This doesn’t have to be done in a direct way.

You can explain to them the depth of your feelings by maintaining prolonged eye contact or by gently touching them while having a devious smirk on your face.

Or, it’s best that you figure out what their love language is, and show your affection accordingly.

20. Narcissist alert!

There is no lack of people with narcissistic tendencies. If you have stumbled upon someone who keeps disregarding your feelings all the while making you feel responsible for their happiness, you will have a hard time believing in love.

I hope you understand that love isn’t supposed to hurt. You’re not supposed to lie down every night wondering what you did wrong.

If your partner makes you feel sad rather than happy, then maybe it’s time to move on. There is someone out there who will treat you better, and don’t you forget that!

“Love Is Complicated” Quotes

couple sitting on floor talking how love is complicated

1. “They say if the love is true, then it’s easy. But, that’s false. Love is complicated. It’s sticky. It’s bliss and it’s a mix of emotions. It’s not easy.” – Dominic Riccitello

2. “Love.” “She looked at me with those blue eyes. Isn’t it astonishing how confused and complicated such a small, simple word is?
It attracts so many other things, doesn’t it, that stick to it like barnacles on rock… fear, guilt, need. You can’t even see the rock anymore. I imagine love in its purest form is a rare thing.” – Deb Caletti

3. ”From the complications of loving you, I think there is no end or return. No answer, no coming out of it, which is the only way to love, isn’t it?” – Mary Oliver

4. ”It’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday.” – Nicholas Sparks

5. “Love enters us like a vague ailment. Your head spins. Your underarms tingle. Love hurts and love has consequences: marriage, babies, separation, longing, human complications.” – Chloe Thurlow

6. “”Complicated – shmomplicated,” she said, waving her hand. ”If you love her, you make it work.” – Fiona Cole

7. “”But, love? Is that what you feel for Morpheus?” I swallow hard. “I’m not sure… But, there’s something real between us… something powerful.” I sink further into my seat. “It’s complicated.”” – A.G. Howard

8. “Love should be easy. Life is hard. Relationships are complicated. But, the love, that’s the one thing we should be able to count on.” – Jacqueline Simon Gunn

9. “And, maybe that is what it comes down to, knowing what the other person needs even before they know it themselves. Maybe it’s just that simple, and it is only us who make it complicated with our anniversaries and our gifts, with grand declarations and public demonstrations, empty words and valuable stones.” – Shitij Sharma

10. “Even so, in the midst of this complicated love, there is a holy union.” – Lorna Jane Cook

Final Thoughts

couple holding hands

As you can see, love is complicated… but not in the way you might have thought. It’s really up to you to fight your inner demons that stop you from accepting it.

Your destiny is in your own hands. Make sure that each decision you make will lead you to a happier and easier life.

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