Break-up recovery, especially after a long-term, meaningful relationship, is a strenuous process that often gets undermined and therefore severely rushed.
Perhaps one of the reasons for this unusual dismissal of the severity of romantic break-ups is the fact that they are so universal and people talk about them openly, as if it’s just another normal daily occurrence.
When in fact it’s a traumatic event in any individual’s life and the fact that they occur more often than one would hope does not make it acceptable to sweep one’s sorrow under the rug and promptly expect it to be over with.
It is never okay to minimize anyone’s sorrow and grief while dealing with a tough break-up, because just like you and I, everybody is entitled to their emotions and their process of healing, no matter how long it takes.
Break-up recovery often requires more strength than that individual is able to summon up at that particular time, so we should always be considerate of that.
Life is tough enough as it is, so if a person is dealing with a difficult break-up and they still find the courage to get up every morning and go about their busy day, they should be applauded, not criticized.
Whether it was an amicable break-up or not, the recovery process is nevertheless the same.
Romantic relationships bring out the most intense emotions in a person, and those emotions cannot be explained by any logic.
There are no rules in love, just all-encompassing feelings of affection and devotion.
Those feelings run very deep and with time, it becomes impossible to imagine how you ever lived without them.
They are thought-consuming and powerful and make life ten times more meaningful.
So it is only normal that losing something of that magnitude leaves a person with a deep hole inside them that cannot be replaced or fixed and only makes life more insufferable.
Not to mention the inevitable feeling of rejection that comes creeping in, regardless of the nature of the break-up.
Whether you’ve managed to stay friendly with your ex or not, the fact remains that the romantic aspect of your relationship is over and you are going to feel rejected and unwanted for a little while, especially if the break-up occurred suddenly and caught you by surprise.
That is a huge blow to anyone’s self-esteem, so it’s crucial that you not let yourself dwell on it or let it consume you more than it should.
After a break-up, the most important thing to do is take care of yourself.
Just because your wounds are not visible to the naked eye does not mean they have not scarred you just as badly.
This is why it’s important to go through your healing process with a positive outlook and take care of your mind and body.
During break-up recovery, everybody does what works best for them and that is more than okay.
You know yourself better than anyone, so give yourself the time needed to get over it, without skipping any stages of healing or denying yourself to feel whatever it is that you are feeling.
The important thing to realize is that this feeling of sadness will go away. The only question is when and that is something only you can decide.
Here are 7 extremely promising and healthy ways to get through your break-up and overcome the sadness that has taken residence in your heart.
BREAK-UP RECOVERY: 7 PROMISING WAYS TO GET BACK ON YOUR FEET
1. Let the stream of tears pour out of you without suppressing them
Grief is like a ticking time-bomb inside your body. You know it’s there, ticking and slowly making you more and more miserable each and every day.
And until you let yourself ‘explode’ with emotions that are building up inside of you, you are never going to truly heal and move forward.
Let your tears flow. Let your emotions out in the open.
Feel your feelings without denying yourself anything.
Let it all out, because that is the only way you are going to rid your body of negative emotions and leave room for new, positive ones.
If you let it all build inside you and refuse to let it out, you are risking ruining your mental health and indefinitely prolonging the break-up recovery process.
So instead of making yourself be happy when all you want to do is cry, let your body do what it needs to do in order to be okay again.
Those tears will dry out but first, you need to let them fall.
2. Distance yourself from people and turn to your supportive tribe
Family and friends are always a good place to start your recovery.
Turn to those few trusted individuals from your inner circle and let them shower you with love and support.
Cut ties with those who make you more anxious and miserable and use this as an opportunity to form closer bonds with those you truly love and get rid of toxic and manipulative people from your life.
They will only suck out the little energy you have left, so turn to those who make life easier and more enjoyable.
They are the only ones you need in life.
If necessary, turn to a professional for help. There are many psychologists who could offer you useful tips to get your head back in the game and focus on the positive aspects of this break-up.
Whichever kind of help you choose, make sure it’s the one you’re most comfortable with and that it makes you feel supported and heard.
3. Stay in the sanctuary of your own home for as long as you need to
While recovering from a break-up, it is important that you remain where you feel safest and at home.
That could be your own home, or perhaps you feel most comfortable at your parents’ or a close friend’s place.
Wherever home is for you, don’t feel bad for choosing to stay there until you feel ready for the outside world.
Now, this does not mean that you should dwell in sorrow in your bed for days on end.
Decide that you’re going to try and get up and do something positive and distract yourself every day.
Find a good, comforting book to read and dedicate your time to that.
It will be a very convenient escape from your real world, where you’ll forget about all about your troubles while deeply invested in the intriguing story.
Binge-watch your favorite comedy series.
That will lighten your mood and bring a few laughs back into your life, which will truly help you recover and get back on your feet in no time.
Don’t force yourself to go out and socialize if you’re not there yet.
Take your time and always remember that everybody is on their own journey and rushing can only undo your efforts.
4. Don’t immediately jump into a new relationship
This sudden loss may hurt right now but getting into a new relationship too quickly after a break-up can bring you no good, that I promise you!
The last thing you need is to get attached to another person before you’ve resolved your emotional issues that stem from this recent, fresh break-up.
Deal with your emotions first. Get yourself to that happy, healthy place where the thought of your ex doesn’t immediately bring tears to your eyes.
Get through all the healing stages and make sure to dedicate time to solely yourself. You need to learn to be on your own before you start thinking about a new man.
Right now, you’re a mess. And you’re not doing yourself any favors by jumping into new romantic situations while still reeling from the pain of your break-up.
There will always be guys out there and you’ll get your turn again, I promise. Just not now.
Right now, you are your number one priority, so focus on that and the rest will come naturally when you are one hundred percent ready.
5. Start exercising and watch your body thrive in the face of sadness
Exercise is truly a fantastic way to let off steam!
Right now, you probably don’t feel like doing much but I promise you, if you decide to join a gym and start getting your mind and body in shape, you are going to thrive!
This is not about having that perfect supermodel body and parading it in everyone’s faces.
It doesn’t matter what you look like, because the shape of your body doesn’t define you.
But getting in shape is going to be a huge plus for sure.
When you get that feeling of taking care of your body and leave all your frustration in the gym a few days a week, you will feel rejuvenated and like a whole new person!
This will bring back your energy and make you feel alive for the first time in a long time.
It will give you a purpose and a healthy one that is, which will make it easier for you to wake up every day knowing you’ve got some ass-kicking to do.
And soon, you’re going to realize that the old, energetic you is finally coming back to life and that sad, jaded girl you’ve known for the past few weeks is vanishing without a trace!
Plus, your body is going to be absolutely banging as well. Just saying!
When you finally get to that place where you feel like you can handle being around people again and not feel suffocated and misplaced, let your girls get you out of your funk by taking you on a night out!
Let it just be a fun, relaxing time with the ladies, where you forget all about your problems and have a wild night on the town.
Don’t think about the consequences and just enjoy it and remain carefree.
Be open to meeting new people. You never know who you might end up getting to know, so don’t close yourself off.
Drink as much as you want, dance the night away and let that hot hunk at the bar buy you a drink.
Nothing has to happen if you don’t want it to (but it totally can!). The point is to wash your worries away and have a good time with good people with lots of booze, dancing and music.
That is going to remind you of the old you and you’ll be encouraged to do it again and before you know it, you’ll be back, as if nothing ever happened! And that is the whole point. So let the good times roll!
7. Cut all contact with your ex until you’re completely over them
Some say that it is possible to stay friends with your ex and perhaps for some people that really is the case.
But depending on the nature of the break-up, it is advisable to cut ties with him until you heal properly.
Don’t let your weak moment overpower you and make you call him during a particularly rough night.
Don’t make coffee plans with him, because seeing his face will erase all the progress you made during recovery.
Be strong for yourself and delete his number. Choose to steer clear of him for the purposes of your healing process.
It will only make it that much harder for you to get over him if you keep him in your life.
There is really no point in making it harder on yourself than it needs to be.
Get through your break-up without him because he is the reason you’re feeling this way in the first place.
You’ll never get rid of the pain if you keep letting it into your life!
So let him go and let yourself heal. Right now, your break-up recovery is the number one priority, so focus on that and help yourself get better.