¿Cómo actuar con tu ex cuando te ha dejado? 20 maneras de sanar

It’s painful enough when your ex breaks up with you, but having to see them around can make it impossible to put it all behind you. Staying away from your ex after the breakup is the best way to deal with it, but what to do when it’s not an option?

When you’re recovering from the end of a relationship and don’t know how to act around your ex who dumped you, it doesn’t matter whether you want them back or not. Tu prioridad en este momento debe ser proteger tu corazón y tu autoestima.

En otras palabras, tienes que ponerte a ti primero. No importa si quieres recuperar a tu ex, seguir siendo amigos o dejar atrás tu relación, porque primero debes curarte. 

Aquí tienes algunos consejos sobre cómo manejar el contacto con tu ex y mejorar al mismo tiempo.

How To Act Around Your Ex Who Dumped You: Do’s & Don’ts

Si solías salir con tu compañero de trabajo o de clase, puede ser difícil saber cómo actuar ante el ex que te dejó y mantener la calma. ¿Y si tenéis un hijo en común y habéis decidido criarlo juntos? ¿O si compartís amigos comunes a los que ninguno de los dos quiere renunciar?

What’s the best way to act when your ex is in your space, when even running into them is stressful?

13 do’s that help your self-esteem

1. Permítete sentir tus sentimientos

Getting dumped hurts, but it’s more than that. You’re left with a mess of feelings in your heart that threaten to overwhelm and defeat you.

It’s not only pain you feel, but also shame, betrayal and anger, and before you can move on, you have to deal with all of these feelings. If you try to bury them, they’ll burn you from the inside, but if you let yourself feel them, they’ll burn out.

2. Haga de su bienestar una prioridad

Lo más efectivo que puedes hacer cuando quieres dejar de estar colgado por tu ex es sustituye pensar en tu ex por centrarse en el propio bienestar.

That means you must make a conscious decision to put yourself first. Lots of people have trouble with this because they were taught that doing so means that they are selfish, but it doesn’t.

Esto significa que debes cuidarte bien. Conscientemente Dedica tiempo al cuidado personal básico, pero también controla el estrés, haz cosas que mejoren tu estado de ánimo y aprende a decir no.

3. Perdona a tu ex

¿Por qué perdonarías a tu ex si te ha dejado? Porque el perdón no tiene nada que ver con ellos y todo que ver contigo.

Forgive doesn’t mean forget. It’s not an excuse to let yourself get hurt again. Perdonar significa tomar el control de tus sentimientos negativos y dejarlos ir. Esta es la única manera de que puedas encontrar un cierre y seguir adelante.

4. Aceptar la ruptura

Después de que te dejen, una de las cosas más difíciles que puedes hacer es aceptarlo, sobre todo si aún sientes algo por tu ex. La tentación de contactar con ellos y rogarles que te acepten de nuevo puede ser abrumadora.

When you accept that it’s over, you put your dignity above your desire. En lugar de intentar que alguien que te ha dejado vuelva contigo, date cuenta de que tu amor propio es mucho más importante.

Even if it’s impossible to forget your ex right now, you can move in that direction if you decide to accept the breakup.

RELACIONADO: Las inevitables etapas de la ruptura (+ 5 etapas del duelo)

5. Vive tu vida

Even though seeing your ex can make you relive the breakup all over again, it doesn’t mean that you should change your life because of them. Don’t adjust your life to accommodate your ex – don’t change plans to avoid them or give up on something to stay away.

When you run into your ex, it’s going to be rough, but that’s why you’re preparing for it. There’s no reason why you should avoid going somewhere just because your ex might be there or doing something because it has something to do with them.

Don’t allow your ex to control your life.

6. Refuse contact you don’t want

On the other hand, if you find it too painful to see your ex, just don’t. Obviously, in some cases completely avoiding them is impossible, but you can spare yourself a lot of stress if you minimizar el contacto en la medida de lo posible.

For example, if you work with your ex and you have to interact with them, keep things professional. Do your job but don’t engage your ex otherwise. Say hello and exchange basic pleasantries, but tell them you’re busy if they try to chat.

Cuando tengas que trabajar en algo junto a tu ex, sé educado y cortés, pero excúsate de charlas triviales.

This isn’t the time to worry about what other people or your ex will think. If you maintain a friendly demeanor and focus on the work you’re doing, no one can reproach you.

7. Establecer límites

Boundaries define what behaviors you’re comfortable with and what you won’t tolerate. For example, if you don’t want your ex to contact you on social media you should let them know and they should respect that. If they don’t, you can block them.

Desgraciadamente, you’ll often run into resistance when you try to establezca sus límites. Your ex might tell you that it’s not a big deal, that you should stop using the app if it bothers you so much, that you’re being unreasonable, or some other excuse.

But there’s no reason why you should endure something that bothers you. Los límites sanos son un signo de autoestima y nunca debes renunciar a ello. 

Let your ex know what you’ll tolerate and what you won’t and don’t let them guilt you into letting them act however they please.

8. Prepárate

Cuando sepas que puedes encontrarte con tu ex, prepárate. Ten un plan o al menos una vaga idea de cómo quieres reaccionar cuando te encuentres con tu ex. Even though these things rarely go as planned, at least you won’t get caught off guard.

For example, have an excuse prepared if you want to politely brush them off. If you know that you don’t want to talk to them, but you also don’t want to ignore them, make sure that you know what to say so that you don’t fumble.

It doesn’t really matter what your ex might think even if you do, but it might give you anxiety later, so it’s best to have an action plan ready. 

“Smile and keep walking” is the best strategypero también puedes pensar en otra cosa que te funcione.

9. Disponer de copias de seguridad

Apoyarte en tus amigos y familiares tras una ruptura puede ayudarte a superarla. You don’t have to do everything alone. 

Find at least one person you can openly talk to and share your feelings regarding the breakup. It can even be a counselor if you don’t have anyone close to you nearby.

There’s no shame in hiding behind your loved ones when you have to deal with your ex. Your friends can act as a buffer between you until it doesn’t hurt as bad anymore. Just having someone with you when you’re near your ex can make a major difference.

Si comparte el mismo grupo de amigosDespués de la ruptura puede que te sientas aislado. At this time it’s better to turn to friends you and your ex don’t share.

Hasta que deje de dolerte, intenta evitar quedar con los amigos comunes si sabes que tu ex va a estar allí. There’s no reason to hide or run away, but don’t force yourself to hurt your broken heart even more.

10. Actúa como siempre

There’s no need to act as if you’ve suddenly become someone new and improved. The temptation to show your ex how well you’re doing is understandable, but tu ex se dará cuenta si intentas fingir.

Instead, it’s much better to keep your composure and act like you always do. You don’t have to prove your ex anything. Don’t act out or make a scene.

It’s best for your autoestima if you don’t let your ex notice your sadness. It might feel good to show it at that moment, but as soon as it’s over, you’ll feel awful.

If you think that seeing your ex will be painful, try to avoid them until it doesn’t, but if you can’t, find your composure and prove a ti mismo que tu ex no tiene poder sobre ti.

11. Ser amable y educado

Sé siempre lo más educado posible con tu ex. This doesn’t only help you avoid a public scene, but it also shows that you’re strong.

Imagine how seeing your ex and getting into a fight with them would make you feel. You’d get upset, cry and your whole day would be ruined. Your ex would be glad that they ended things with you. You’d leave an impression of someone needy and desperate.

Por otro lado, being polite shows your ex that you’re the bigger person, but also that you want to keep a distance. Sé amable siendo cortés, no cercano.

12. Hazlo corto

Whenever you have to interact with your ex, keep it as short as possible. This is how you’ll avoid getting into things with your ex you might not want to get into. 

Una forma de conseguirlo es centrarte únicamente en la razón por la que tienes que estar cerca de tu ex.

If your ex is a co-worker, only talk about the work you’re doing together. Don’t let them distract you with small talk or irrelevant chit-chat. 

If you co-parent with your ex, only discuss important information about your kids. When they ask you how you’ve been, say you were fine but don’t elaborate.

En algunos casos, su ex tratará repetidamente de entablar una conversación con usted que quizá no pueda manejar en este momento. Tienes que ser firme y volver al tema. que tienes que hablar con ellos.

13. Mantener la calma

Needless to say, when you feel broken after getting dumped, it would be easiest to scream and yell at your ex or beg them to take you back but it’s the last thing you want to do.

A mantener la calmaTienes que estar decidido a ponerte a ti primero. Esto es lo que te dará la inspiración para mantener la compostura.

Your well-being is more important than showing your ex you’ve moved on. Your peace of mind is more important than getting back at your ex. Getting your life back on track is more important than having your ex take you back.

You’re important, not your ex. Repítetelo a ti mismo para mantener la calma.

Véase también: Mi ex tiene una nueva novia: 12 consejos para manejarlo con gracia

7 don’ts to protect your heart

1. Don’t be negative

There are lots of ways you can end up the villain of a breakup that wasn’t your fault, and most of them can be connected to how you appear after the breakup.

Reigning in all negativity towards your ex will help you stay the mature one who doesn’t need to prove anything. You know what they’re like and what they’ve done and it’s not your job to make it known.

Don’t criticize your ex or badmouth them in front of everyone you know. Don’t try to get revenge, because it will backfire. Sólo pintará usted in a bad light because you stayed with such a horrible person or make people think you’re exaggerating.

Si tu ex habla mal de ti, debes sopesar hasta qué punto sus palabras te perjudican a ti y a tu reputación.. 

If you don’t really care, let the people who told you about it know that they should stop reporting back to you. They can also ask your ex to stop talking about you to them.

Si su ex pone a su hijo en su contra, Habla con tu hijo y hazle saber que también tiene la opción de negarse a escuchar. Consuélales si se enfadan hablando abiertamente.

2. Don’t ignore your ex

When you see your ex for the first time after the breakup, no doubt you’ll be tempted to act like you haven’t noticed them. It might work once, but next time it will be obvious that you’re ignoring them.

Después de una ruptura, lo más fácil sería fingir que tu ex no está cuando lo ves, pero si realmente quieres mostrar tu fuerza, afrontarlos de frente. Mantén el contacto visual, reconoce su presencia y sé cortés.

And that’s it. You don’t have to hang out with your ex. In fact, it’s better if you don’t. En lugar de prestarles atención, pasa a algo o alguien realmente interesante.

3. Don’t get emotional

If you feel like you’re going to cry or get angry when you see your ex, excuse yourself and leave as calmly as possible. Don’t show your ex that you’re hurting even if you are. You might feel like a wreck, but your ex doesn’t need to know that.

This isn’t about denying your emotions. You absolutely should address how you feel, but your ex shouldn’t be your audience when you do. Romper a llorar o a rabiar delante de tu ex no conseguirá nada, salvo hacerte sentir aún peor.

4. Don’t try to “win the breakup”

You shouldn’t cry in front of your ex, but don’t pretend to be happy. If you want to show your ex that you’ve moved on and are doing well when you’re not, you’ll only seem desperate. 

Don’t pretend like you’ve changed into someone cool or that you’re living your best life if you’re not. 

Your ex will see through all of this, but that’s not why you should stop pretending that you’re doing better than they are. The real reason why there’s no need to win the breakup is that your ex doesn’t matter.

It’s not a competition. It’s not important who’s doing better. Why? Because you don’t have to prove anything to your ex. El resplandor tras la ruptura gira en torno a ti.

That’s easy to say, but para empezar a creértelo de verdad, debes ponerte tú primero. It’s only important how you feel and how you can make yourself really feel better. Your ex’s reaction has no influence on your life.

5. Don’t try to make your ex jealous

Tratando de conseguir su ex vuelta dándoles celos nunca funciona. Sure, they could come back, but it’s never because they’ve dealt with their issues and now want a healthy relationship. Don’t let yourself be fooled.

If your ex wants to get back together only after you’ve started seeing someone else, face the facts and realize that they don’t really want you. They only want what they can’t have. Using rebounds and jealousy to manipulate your ex’s feelings will only hurt you.

6. Don’t obsess about your ex

If you don’t know how to act around your ex who dumped you and you want to learn just one thing, let it be this: don’t think about your ex.

The worst thing you can do to yourself after a breakup is show too much interest in your ex. You’re only making things worse for yourself, especially if it was your ex who ended the relationship in the first place.

Tu dignidad, autoestima y curación deben ser lo primero. If you want to get over your ex, remove them from your thoughts as much as possible. When you see them, don’t engage in unnecessary conversation.

When you talk to your ex, don’t discuss the breakup, your feelings, the reasons for the breakup or anything else that will put salt in your wounds. Las cosas que hables con tu ex deben ser superficiales o prácticas.

Don’t analyze their words, actions and body language trying to prove something to yourself. Evita darte falsas esperanzas e imaginar cosas. If you love yourself, be strict about this and don’t break your own heart.

RELACIONADO: Todo lo que necesitas saber para aprender a quererte a ti mismo

7. Don’t let your ex provoke you

Your ex might be the kind of person who isn’t satisfied with just hurting you, they might also want to twist the knife so that they can feel better about their own life. Si tu ex se comporta mal e intenta provocarte, no dejes que te provoque.

Also, you shouldn’t stoop on your ex’s level and try to bait them. Seeing your ex angry won’t bring you satisfaction. Lo único que te hará libre es seguir adelante.

¿Deberías ponerte en contacto con un ex que te ha dejado?

If your ex dumped you because you’ve done something to hurt them, trying to contact them while they’re trying to stay away won’t get them back. If the breakup wasn’t your fault, you should still nunca se ponga en contacto con un ex que te dejó.

Contactar con tu ex sólo te hará parecer desesperado. No importa cuánto eches de menos a tu ex novio o ex novia, making the first move after they’ve broken up with you is needy and unattractive. Sigue el norma de no contacto religiosamente.

Your mantra during the recovery period should be “compassion, self-respect, confidence.”

• Be kind to yourself y amable con tus sentimientos.

• Don’t lower yourself rogándole a alguien que te dejó que te acepte de nuevo.

• Believe in your own value even if your ex didn’t.

¿Cómo hacer que tu ex se arrepienta de haberte dejado?

Thinking about how your ex feels means that they still have power over you. The urge to be petty and make them regret what they’ve done to you is understandable, but ¿realmente merece tu ex algún esfuerzo?

En lugar de pensar en cómo mejorar tu aspecto, juntarte con alguien mejor o conseguir algo increíble sólo para que tu ex se arrepienta de haberte dejado, canaliza esa energía hacia el amor propio y hazlo todo por ti.

It’s not your ex’s mind you need to change, it’s your own. You don’t have anything to prove to someone who left you. You owe it to yourself to start feeling better and loving yourself. Refuse to to focus on your ex – instead, haz que tu mundo gire a tu alrededor.

¿Qué debe hacer cuando su ex quiere volver con usted?

Cuando tu ex quiera volver contigo, primero evalúe cómo se siente al respecto antes de darles una segunda oportunidad.

• Do you want it or are you only considering it because it’s easier than getting back into the world of dating?

• Do you have feelings for your ex ¿o es sólo un hábito?

• If you were to get back together, ¿las cosas serían diferentes?

• Does the razón por la que rompisteis ¿sigue existiendo?

• Would your relationship last ¿esta vez?

Creo que deberías nunca aceptes a un ex que te ha dejado. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, but make sure you’re not taking them back because you’re used to being with them and you don’t want to leave your comfort zone.

Don’t get back together if the reason why you broke up hasn’t been dealt withporque lo último que quieres es romper dos veces por el mismo asunto.

¿Cómo superar a tu ex?

Por supuesto, tu primer paso debe ser cortar todo contacto con tu ex. Borra todos los números de teléfono y bloquea todas las cuentas de redes sociales que puedan utilizar para ponerse en contacto contigo o que tú puedas utilizar para llamarles o enviarles mensajes de texto.

There are no shortcuts when you’re trying to superar a un ex. Debes permitirte hacer el duelo de la relación y trabajar tus sentimientos paso a paso antes de poder sanar. If you try to rush it, you’ll always carry unhealed scars.

Pide ayuda a tu familia y amigos. Vent and complain, but don’t obsess over your ex. Come to terms with the breakup and think about what didn’t work. After your pain becomes bearable, distract yourself from thinking about your ex.

Lo mejor que puedes hacer es encontrar algo que te ayude a dejar de pensar en ellos pero que también te haga mejorar de alguna manera. Encuentra algo que te guste hacer y hazlo en lugar de suspirar por tu ex.

¿Deberías seguir siendo amigo de tu ex?

You can stay friends with your ex, but only if you’re not harboring any hopes about getting back together. If either of you wants reconciliation, you can’t be friends. 

You won’t figure out down the line that you were meant to be after all, but instead you’ll just end up broken-hearted.

Another condition for staying friends is that neither of you has done something that the other person can’t forgive. You can’t be friends if one or both of you are holding a grudge. A menos que no haya resentimientos, la amistad es imposible.

Lo esencial

Getting dumped can be devastating, especially if you were in love with your ex. Everyone knows that the no-contact rule works, but what if your ex is someone you can’t avoid? How to act around your ex who dumped you?

En lugar de hacerte aún más daño centrándote en tu ex tras la ruptura, proteger tus sentimientos debe ser una prioridad. Keep things short, be polite and don’t ignore them, but make sure you stay distant and formal.Afirma con calma tus límites y concéntrate en tu bienestar. If you don’t allow your ex to stay relevant in your life, you’ll heal much faster than if you think about them all the time.