Cómo hacer que tus vecinos se muden: 27 ideas brillantes

Después de tratar con varios malos vecinos, puedo confirmar que los vecinos amables y no molestos son un verdadero regalo de Dios. So, if you’re wondering how to make your neighbors move, I offer you my humble assistance and experience with neighbors from hell!

Constant shouting and drama, loud music, revving engines in the small hours, turning other neighbors against you…

These are some of the things I’ve had to deal with while trying to work from home. Como siempre, mi marido es el tipo de hombre que piensa que todo se puede solucionar conversando.

So, I listened to him (and I totally regretted it). When your neighbors are the type of people you can’t communicate with because they’re not willing to cooperate, you are left with two options:

1. Puedes moverte.

2. Puedes hacer que tus vecinos se muden.

I thought about these two options for some time, and I’ve concluded the following: Why should the rest of my friendly neighbors and I move just because there are one or two neighbors who make our lives difficult?

Creo que la solución lógica sería que se mudaran, ¿no?

That’s exactly how I solved my problem. ? It took me some time, but in the end, it worked! Hice que mis vecinos malos y ruidosos se mudaran, y ahora vivo una vida feliz y tranquila.

Since I’m not a selfish person, today, I’ll share with you all the tips and tricks on how to make your neighbors move (because you totally deserve to live in peace and harmony just like me)!

Cómo hacer que sus vecinos se muden

From simple ideas to more serious ones, the following list of ways to make your neighbors move is an absolute gem and the only thing you’ll ever need. So, here’s how you can do it:

1. Sé entrometido hasta la médula (y me refiero a entrometido de verdad)

¿Sabes cuál es la mejor forma de motivar a tus vecinos para que se muden? Hacerles sentir que no son bienvenidos, por supuesto.

You’ll do this by being overly nosy whenever you can. Te aseguro que tus nuevos vecinos perderán la cabeza en cuanto empieces a hacerles montones de preguntas personales o a hablar demasiado de ti.

Mientras lo haces, asegúrate de elegir los hechos más aburridos de tu vida para que empiecen a suplicar al universo que dejes de hablar. Hablar de cosas totalmente irrelevantes e incómodas como tus problemas de estreñimiento, etc. ?

Oh, there is more. You could do the constipation or diarrhea talk while they’re having a snack. Sólo tienes que esperar a que vuelvan a casa del trabajo y bombardearles a preguntas.

(Lidiando con molestos y gente estúpida es un arte en sí mismo).

Cuando cocines, pídeles con frecuencia que te presten algunos ingredientes que te falten para poder entrar en su casa y escanear todo lo que haya allí.

This is a perfect opportunity to figure out whether they’re involved in illegal activities, which is another perfect way to get them to move “legally.”

2. Las actividades ruidosas son tu mejor amigo

Si tus malos vecinos viven al lado, encima, debajo de ti o muy cerca, entonces las actividades ruidosas son tus mejores amigas.

I don’t know anyone who is immune to continual loud noise that is preferably played at the most inconvenient times. Here are a few noisy ideas that will teach you how to make your neighbors move without much effort:

• A really noisy lawn mower at 7 am. (CAUTION: When I did this repeatedly, the bad neighbor ended up egging my house).

• Use the washer at the most inconvenient time and open all your windows (e.g., when they have guests outside).

• Noisy wind chimes (I’m sure your neighbor will “love them”).

• Use hedge trimmers, a chainsaw, or other loud gardening instruments to do some yard work (preferably in the morning).

• THREE WORDS: A garden party.

• Loud music + karaoke = a winner combo.

• Having a dog barking 24/7 will most certainly annoy every neighbor.

• Play basketball outside and make sure to do it as loudly as you can.

• Get your little one a drum set (or you can play it too) to play at the most inconvenient time of the day or night, of course.

• Every time you leave with your car, make sure to do it in style (revving the engine preferred).

3. Domina el arte de ser un mal vecino

Quizá la respuesta a la pregunta de cómo hacer que tus vecinos se muden sea sencilla: Aprende a ser un mal vecino.

It’s time to go back to your childhood days when you annoyed your parents and other people with your silly pranks and misbehavior.

It’s time to master the art of being a bad neighbor so much that it will make your problem neighbor think twice about staying there. Maybe I should’ve said, “mastering the el arte de deshacerse de la gente tóxica.” Here’s how you can do it:

• Let your dogs do their business in your neighbor’s yard. Yes, I’m talking about poop that they will have to pick up and clean up (let’s hope that they won’t call animal control, LOL).

• Wear your bathing suit and chill in your front yard when your neighbor has guests.

• Install fake security cameras on your property (so that you can falsely accuse them of trespassing).

• Even better idea: Install fake security cameras that point at your neighbor’s house.

• For those who are living in an apartment building with assigned parking: Take your bad neighbor’s parking spot.

• Ring your neighbor’s doorbell repeatedly and then hide. (I recommend doing this a few times).

• Cover their tree with toilet paper and pray to the Lord that it rains soon.

4. Volverles locos con inconvenientes

If your bad neighbors aren’t even trying to follow bylaws and guidelines, then feel free to drive them crazy with inconveniences.

When you do it for the first time, they’ll probably think that it’s a mistake, but later on, they’ll slowly but surely start connecting the dots.

Puedes esperar que estas bromas pongan a tus vecinos problemáticos en modo pasivo-agresivo y, finalmente, hacer que se muden para siempre:

• Borrow their newspaper, clip the coupons, and then return it.

• Try dumping your food scraps in their yard as this will attract lots of wild animals.

• Sign them up for junk mail at random grocery stores, pet stores, and all different kinds of stores.

• Good old prank calls: Pretend that you’re selling something and be as convincing as possible.

• Even better prank: Add their number to ads in newspapers and encourage others to call them if they’re interested in buying pigs or other animals because they’re “selling” them. My uncle got pranked this way by his best friend, and he hasn’t stopped laughing since.

• Order pizza to your neighbor’s front door (make sure it’s a type of pizza you would never order for yourself).

5. Complain to the landlord or the HOA (homeowner’s association)

Otra cosa inteligente que puedes hacer con respecto a tus malos vecinos es quejarte de ellos al casero.

Most landlords are sensitive when it comes to bad renters because they don’t want to be responsible for anything their tenants might do. Pero también hay gente que sólo se preocupa de sí misma.

Sea abierto y sincero con su casero. Mencione todas las ordenanzas sobre ruidos y molestias. Tell them exactly what’s going on and that you can no longer tolerate it. Suggest that the only solution is for them to move.

If that doesn’t work, you can complain to the HOA (homeowners association). Apparently, every suburban neighborhood has one, so it’s worth giving a try.

6. O llame a la policía

Well, if talking to their landlord and complaining to the HOA doesn’t work, you can always call the police. Le recomiendo que lo haga, sobre todo si sospecha que sus vecinos están implicados en actividades ilegales.

A veces, lo único que necesita para hacer que sus vecinos se muevan son las fuerzas de seguridad locales, pero para ello necesita pruebas sólidas. Por ello, te sugiero que grabes algunos de sus comportamientos de mal vecino y recopiles todas las pruebas que puedas.

Once the law is on your side, your bad neighbors won’t stand a chance. Another great thing to do is to call the police in the middle of your neighbor’s annoying acts.

Hacerlo varias veces hará saber a la policía que realmente son un problema.

Esto les dará una idea clara de lo que ocurre allí exactamente y de lo que tienen que tolerar los demás vecinos. Si todo va bien, puedes esperar que la policía les pida que se muden pronto.

7. Unirse a otros vecinos

Learning how to make your neighbors move shouldn’t be a problem, especially if other neighbors support you. Lo que puedes hacer es redactar una petición con otros vecinos para poder presentar una denuncia oficial ante la policía.

Think of it this way. If only one neighbor has a problem with a certain bad neighbor and the others are silent, no one will take it seriously. But if the whole neighborhood is united, then there’s a higher chance you’ll succeed in making them move.

A mi primo le pasó algo parecido. She has a really awful neighbor whose kid is extremely aggressive with other kids. He would beat up other kids for no apparent reason, and the same thing happened to my cousin’s child.

Now, every time they have a problem with her kid, they knock on her door and tell her that they will no longer tolerate it if she doesn’t do something about it.

I’m extremely curious how all this will end, and I see no other way but them moving because the entire family is kind of problematic.

En definitiva, la unión hace la fuerza cuando se trata de asuntos de barrio.

Véase también: 11 señales de que no caes bien a tus vecinos (+cómo solucionarlo)

17 ideas extra sobre cómo hacer que tus vecinos se muden

¿Necesitas más ideas para hacer que tus vecinos se muden? No te preocupes, aquí tienes unas cuantas ideas únicas que puedes utilizar para molestarlos (y empezar a vivir un una vida más fácil):

1. Diles que has visto un fantasma en su casa/jardín. Para mayor efecto, díselo a otros vecinos para que confirmen que también lo vieron.

2. Caminar y pisar fuerte por la mañana temprano y por la noche (genial para los vecinos que viven debajo de ti).

3. Place a telescope near your window and make sure they see when you’re taking a sneak peek into their house.

4. Write MOVE on a big piece of paper and put it in a window that faces their house. If they ask you why you did that, tell them that your children (or some other children in your family) did it while you weren’t watching. This will definitely make them feel unwelcome and make them ask themselves, “Why don’t people like me?”

5. Place a trail of sugar to your neighbor’s yard as close as you can to their front porch.

6. Hacer un ramo con las flores de su jardín.

7. Drain water from their pool while they’re gone.

8. Coloca fotos y mensajes espeluznantes en las ventanas de tu casa que den a la suya.

9. Hazlo a lo grande con pelotas de tenis.

10. Invita a todos los vecinos a una fiesta en el jardín EXCEPTO a ellos.

11. Pretend that you’re concerned about property line issues. Make sure to mention it every single day.

12. Ignóralos por completo y pide a los demás vecinos que hagan lo mismo. (A veces cortar el contacto con la gente es necesario.)

13. Pretend that you’re insulted by them talking behind your back (even if this is not true).

14. Write a post on social media where you complain about bad neighbours subtly, but make sure they know it’s them. (Don’t spare them the details.)

15. Canta fuera tan alto y tan mal como puedas. Asegúrate de repetirlo varias veces al día.

16. Order some creepy things from Amazon and deliver them to their address but make sure not to spend a lot of money because they’re not worth it.

17. Trabajar en el jardín en bañador.

18. Roast a pig outside while your neighbor has open windows or while they’re drying clothes outside. They’ll definitely enjoy all the food smells coming from your house and stinking up their clothes.

19. Forward solicitors to your neighbor’s door. Tell them that your neighbor would be totally interested in supporting their cause.

20. Tell them that you saw burglars sneaking around their house. (Let’s hope they don’t call the police, LOL.)

¿Hay otra forma de tratar a los malos vecinos?

Hmm… Most problems with bad neighbors can be solved with communication. You can talk to them directly about all the things that you find annoying. En lugar de acusarles, diles cómo te hace sentir su comportamiento. Este enfoque siempre es mejor.

If that doesn’t work, you can ask someone in their family to talk to them about it. Tell them to be discreet about it (not to mention your name or anything).

If communication turns out to be successful, then you don’t need to worry about making them move.

But if it doesn’t, then I don’t see any other way than to also become one of those bad neighbors for the purpose of making them move.

It won’t be easy, but in the long run, it will be totally worth it (if you succeed, of course).

Things You SHOULDN’T DO When It Comes To Making Your Neighbors Move

If making your neighbors move doesn’t bear fruit, it’s normal for you to feel frustrated about it.

Sin embargo, ten en cuenta que hay algunas cosas que nunca debes hacer, por muy desesperado que estés por conseguir que se muevan:

1. Don’t use physical force.

2. Don’t add drugs to the food or drinks you prepare for them.

3. Don’t send them threatening messages.

4. (If something else comes to my mind, I’ll let you know.)

Lo último que necesitas es acabar en la cárcel o en los tribunales por algo así que le hiciste a tu vecino por desesperación. Recuerda que la fuerza no es una solución.

En lugar de eso, sé creativo en la vida cotidiana y motívales poco a poco para que se planteen mudarse. Cómo tratar a los vecinos problemáticos es mejor hacerlo despacio pero seguro.

Buena suerte.

Remember that learning how to make your neighbors move and implementing all the tactics takes time, so don’t expect to see results immediately.

Your neighbors probably won’t be annoyed by anything you do in the first few days, but as you continue disturbing their peace, they’ll start noticing it.

In a way, what you’ll be doing is giving them a taste of their own medicine. I’m pretty sure that this is the best way to deal with problematic people if communication with them fails.

Once they become annoyed, sleep-deprived, and frustrated, they’ll know how it feels to have bad neighbours.

If they see that you’re totally determined to make them move, I’m sure they’ll do so, and it’s just a matter of time.

Como siempre, la determinación siempre gana, así que ten determinación para echar todo lo tóxico. Don’t let anyone steal your joy!

P.D. Si alguna de estas ideas para hacer que tus vecinos se muden sale mal, las consecuencias y la responsabilidad son totalmente tuyas. Así que, además de ser audaz, asegúrate también de ser prudente. ?