Do friends really ruin marriages? Well, in fact, they can and will if you let other people use you and overstep your boundaries. This article will help you understand how friends destroy marriages, what types of friends do this, and how to fight it.
Of course, not all friends will ruin your marriage. On the contrary, some will also help you build it. This depends on the type of friend you have. So, choose a best friend that is there to uplift you and your marriage.
Sometimes, we can’t blame them because they want what is best for their friend and themselves. You know that friendships are fleeting, but the relationship you have with your spouse is something that is supposed to last a lifetime.
9 Ways How Friends Destroy Marriages
Here are some red flags that your friends might be influencing the well-being of your marriage:
1. Too much affection
Friendship is a powerful force that can drive us towards happiness and fulfillment. However, it can also be toxic if we are not careful.
Friendships can easily become destructive when there is too much affection, leading to a marriage breakdown.
This is especially true if we are talking about friends of the opposite gender. Imagine how your spouse would feel seeing you and your friend constantly all over each other, sharing intimate details over text messages.
2. Marriage sabotage
I know this seems barely possible, but your friend could be sabotaging your marriage. This is the most common way how friends destroy marriages. They could be giving you bad advice, talking behind your back, or getting you into trouble.
Marriage can be tough, especially if you have a friend who constantly tries to stir up trouble and make your spouse jealous. They could be doing it for fun or with a goal. Regarding the motive, make sure you cancel this kind of behavior and talk to them about it.
3. Manipulating you
This is the worst case of a fake friend! This person manipulates you with the goal of ruining your marriage. They could be telling you lies about your partner, telling you how to act, or advising you against your well-being.
In any case, manipulative friends are not real friends. They are just that: Manipulators. Therefore, scratch this person off your life and never contact them again if you see they are taking advantage of you for their own nefarious reasons.
4. No acknowledgment of spouse
You seem to talk about your spouse all the time, and every time you do, your friend just ignores it altogether. They seem like they are ignoring your SO. Sometimes, friends just don’t know how to talk about the person we’re married to.
Still, if the problem persists even when you introduce them to each other, you need to talk to your friend because there is definitely a reason why this is happening. Is it that they are jealous? Angry? Or do they not understand you have someone more important in your life now? Talk it through!
5. No respect for your time
Your friend is not respecting your time by barging in on family time and ruining date night, and it’s ruining your marriage. The problem with this situation is that your spouse gets angry with you because you can’t turn your friend away.
These distractions can lead to a decrease in quality time, causing problems for many relationships. Now you know that your friend doesn’t respect you. Do you really need someone who has no respect for you as a friend, your marriage, and your time, as a friend? I don’t think so.
6. No respect for boundaries
What are the boundaries that people should have with their friends? The answer is: it depends. There are some boundaries that we must maintain. One boundary that one should not cross is the boundary of marriage.
When a friend starts to disrespect your marital boundaries, it can lead to divorce or other problems in your life. This is a tough situation because people tend to be more open when they are close friends. However, this does not mean you should be disrespectful of your partner’s wishes.
7. Tag along everywhere
Oh no, it’s a nightmare BFF. Are you planning a romantic date for you and your spouse? Or is it your honeymoon? And all of a sudden, you get a text from your friend that they unintentionally booked the same flight, hotel, and dates for their holiday too?
This needs to stop. They might tag along on picnics, dates, and family dinners. But there needs to be a line they can‘t cross, and that is family time. This will eventually get on your significant other’s nerves and make them angry and cause problems.
8. Jealousy is key
What lies at the base of your friend destroying your marriage? Jealousy is one of the most common reasons a friend might ruin your marriage. It’s not uncommon for friends to feel threatened by the other person in your life.
Jealousy is a natural emotion that comes with intimate relationships. But it’s important to know the difference between jealousy and envy because the latter will only hurt your relationship.
9. Bad habits
I know we’re not in high school anymore, but having a bad influence is possible even in later life. In fact, if your friend pushes you into drinking, doing drugs, and smoking, or makes you do things that are against your morals and judgment, you might be looking at a bad influence.
Bad habits are often overlooked because they are easy to do, and we don’t want to admit that we have them. But their effects on our lives can be devastating. They can ruin your marriage, so it is important to be careful about who and how you spend your time.
4 Types Of Friends That Ruin Marriages
But who is willing to ruin a marriage just to meet their needs? Here are the types of friends that destroy marriages:
1. The friend of the opposite sex
Opposite-sex friendships are the easiest culprits, regardless of whether we are talking about a female or male friend. They make your spouse doubt you and lower their self-esteem. But let’s be honest, this one is too obvious.
People of the opposite sex most often are not such friends. These friends are not necessarily bad people, but they often influence the spouse and cause many problems in the marriage.
2. The rude friend
Married people place their spouses as their top priority, and someone who is rude to their spouse cannot be considered a friend if you ask me. Would you treat your best friend this way?
A rude friend is one of the most common problems in friendships. But why? They might also be inappropriate and judgmental or gossip about you behind your back.
3. The single friend
The single friend’s impact on marriages is often overlooked and underestimated. This is a backburner who wants you to spend more time with them.
Now that you’re married, you have less and less time for their dependency on you. They will try to get their needs met in any way possible, even if it means divorce.
4. The jealous friend
A jealous friend is someone who always has to know what you are doing and how you are doing it. They will find out everything about your relationship. They will do anything to make sure they don’t lose their spot in your life.
This person will ruin marriages by putting unnecessary pressure on the couple. They will try to control what the couple does, where they go, and how they spend their time together. These people can even be your in-laws, not just your friends.
8 Tricks To Stop Your Friends From Destroying Your Marriage
Now that we have covered which friends ruin marriages and how they destroy them, it’s time to stop this from happening. Here are a few tips on dealing with your friends:
• Let them meet: It’s simple, if your friend or spouse don’t know each other, it’s much easier to demonize married life or relationship issues. This is why they need to get off social media and meet in person to get to know each other.
• Stay away from toxic people: The best way to stop your toxic friends from destroying your marriage is to try and stay away from them. It is difficult to do but necessary. Of course, this will also help your mental health, not just your marriage.
• Stop the friendship: When it‘s gotten out of hand, it’s time to say goodbye to negative people. This is especially true for the types of friends that will ruin your marriage. Remember, a good friend would never do that; only bad habits cause problems.
• Don’t complain: Yes, it’s true. You should not complain to your friend about your spouse or to your spouse about your friends. Both sides could just be going through a rough patch, so don’t hate on them. Even worse, you will paint a bad picture of the opposite side to each.
• Grow closer to your partner: Take up new hobbies or activities together. This will give you both something new to focus on, which will also help you grow closer as a couple in the long run.
• Assess insecurities: Does the problem lie with you? Married couples don’t then have these problems. This is why it would be good to visit a marriage counselor and get some relationship advice concerning your problems and the friends that affect them.
• Give yourself a break: Give yourself a break from all your responsibilities at home and just focus on yourself for a while. You will come back refreshed and ready to tackle your marriage and friendship problems head-on again.
• Tell your spouse: Let them know that you are not happy with the current state of your marriage or friendship. This can help them better understand what is going on and help them work towards fixing the problem.
Do Friends Affect Your Marriage?
Yes, friends do affect your marriage. They do this by planting ideas in your head, telling you what to do, and making decisions for you. Your spouse might not like it, but it could also be that you are gullible or being manipulated by them.
The answer to this question is not black and white. It depends on what your friends do for you. If they help you with your problems, they can become a source of support, comfort, and love.
However, if they are just bad influences on your life, then it might be better to keep them away from your marriage and life altogether.
Friends can be a major source of marital conflict. Friends are also often a source of information and lead to infidelity. Once you know this, you should reconsider if you are dealing with a friend that doesn’t really care about you.
Many people believe that the quality of your friends affects your marriage too. However, having friends who support you and are available for you can improve your marriage. So, choose your friends carefully.
After all of this, try to understand your friends. They don’t want to destroy your marriage. They are just acting on impulse. Don’t leave them any power over your relationship and husband or wife. After that, you can still remain friends with them.
The truth is that people often have more in common with their friends than their significant others – so it’s natural for you to want to spend time with them. But when this happens, the conflict can become overwhelming and turn into resentment and anger.
I hope I’ve managed to give you all the information you need on how friends destroy marriages. Still, when you find yourself feeling resentful towards your partner or wanting to avoid spending time with them because of your friendship, it’s a sign that you need to make some changes in your life.